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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - The Mermaid Theory (S06E06)

"- Zoey! - Zoey was married to the Captain."
How I Met Your Mother
"That man is terrifying."
How I Met Your Mother
"Observe."
How I Met Your Mother
"But the top half of his face..."
How I Met Your Mother
"- [All Yell] - wants to murder you."
How I Met Your Mother
"## [Upbeat Pop]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh! Sweet."
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, Lily, you were right."
How I Met Your Mother
"She's just staring at me."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Barney. - Save it, Lily!"
How I Met Your Mother
"God, how can you say that?"
How I Met Your Mother
"You saved me. You saved us."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Marshall] And it took one year, three months and 16 days."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Gasps]"
How I Met Your Mother
"[Screams]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, Lily, I'm sorry. Hey, you wanna see a magic trick?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Kids, I'm officially admitting defeat."
How I Met Your Mother
"I have something for you."
How I Met Your Mother
"Zoey told me you're a scotch drinker."
How I Met Your Mother
"Wow. Thanks, Barney. You saved me."
How I Met Your Mother
"You saved us."
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"I was hoping that maybe we could be buddies."
How I Met Your Mother
"- [Giggling] - Whoa!"
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"I had fun."
How I Met Your Mother
"about Robin becoming a mermaid again."
How I Met Your Mother
"we had a new addition to our little group... Zoey."
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"Boys. Great to see you."
How I Met Your Mother
"Looking smart. Have a wonderful time tonight, okay?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay."
How I Met Your Mother
"Everything he said was nice, but I'm profoundly scared."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Keep smiling. He can still see us. - Okay. Bye."
How I Met Your Mother
"There was just something about him."
How I Met Your Mother
"I figured it out!"
How I Met Your Mother
"I know what's so creepy about the Captain."
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay."
How I Met Your Mother
"- [All Scream] - Yeah."
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"I snapped this photo of him last time he dropped off Zoey."
How I Met Your Mother
"The bottom half of his face..."
How I Met Your Mother
"is smiling."
How I Met Your Mother
"Look, he seems happy. Seems like a nice guy."
How I Met Your Mother
"Cheerful."
How I Met Your Mother
"- [All Yell] - Wants to murder you."
How I Met Your Mother
"No, cheerful."
How I Met Your Mother
"- [All Yell] - Wants to murder you!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Now hold on. Let me ask him a question."
How I Met Your Mother
"Captain, what do you think of ice cream?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- Oh, he loves it. - [Lily] Ahhh."
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"- Captain, what do you think of rainy days? - [Lily] Aaah."
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"Oh, he hates 'em."
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"Captain, quick question."
How I Met Your Mother
"- How do you feel about the Jonas Brothers? - Ooh!"
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"- W-What is that? - I don't get it."
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"He hates that he loves them."
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"[All] Ohh!"
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"## [Man Vocalizing]"
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"## [Ends]"
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"Great. Okay."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hey, guys. Zoey just told me about..."
How I Met Your Mother
"this great Frank Lloyd Wright retrospective tonight."
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"I'm, uh... I-I don't know, washing my hair."
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"- Running the water. - Holding the towel."
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"And I'll be home trying to get over the fact..."
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"that no one invited me to the big hair-washing party."
How I Met Your Mother
"All right. Fine. Guess it'll just be me and Zoey."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, wait. Just the two of you?"
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"Tread lightly, Mosby."
How I Met Your Mother
"Anytime a single guy hangs out with a married woman..."
How I Met Your Mother
"there are rules that must be followed."
How I Met Your Mother
"Rule number one..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Don't use the husband's condoms."
How I Met Your Mother
"That's just rude."
How I Met Your Mother
"- [Marshall Laughs] - Rule number one:"
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"Don't go anywhere that has candles."
How I Met Your Mother
"Excuse me, Captain."
How I Met Your Mother
"How do you feel about Ted and Zoey..."
How I Met Your Mother
"having an intimate chat by candlelight?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- [All Yell] - It'll be the last dinner they ever have."
How I Met Your Mother
"Rule number two:"
How I Met Your Mother
"No sharing food."
How I Met Your Mother
"In fact, anything involving saliva is off-limits."
How I Met Your Mother
"Toothbrushes, thermometers, lipstick."
How I Met Your Mother
"If I can't share her lipstick, there's no point in even going."
How I Met Your Mother
"And the most important rule of all..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Lubricant is public property."
How I Met Your Mother
"Please."
How I Met Your Mother
"No lying to the spouse about anything you do."
How I Met Your Mother
"Why would anyone lie? Zoey and I are just friends."
How I Met Your Mother
"If there was anything more, I wouldn't hang out with her."
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"Lily's right, Ted."
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"Once you're married, it's very hard to be friends..."
How I Met Your Mother
"with a single person of the opposite sex."
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"Unless you're old friends..."
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"which is why I can hang out with Marshall whenever I want."
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"- Right, Marsh Madness? - No doubt, RoboCop."
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"Poof!"
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"You two never hang out alone."
How I Met Your Mother
"You just made up those nicknames right now."
How I Met Your Mother
"I guess it's true."
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"You and I never really hang out alone."
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, let's."
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"Let's have dinner together, just the two of us."
How I Met Your Mother
"No candles."
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"- Okay, no candles. - No candles."
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"Lily, I guess that leaves just you and me. Wanna hang?"
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"[Ted Narrating] And then Lily said something to Barney..."
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"that insulted every fiber of his being."
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"- Nah. - [Gasps]"
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"Wait. No. It had to be more than just "nah." Oh, I think she said..."
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"You're a big, stupid octopus head!"
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"[Gasps]"
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"No, that doesn't make sense."
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"Okay, hang on. What did she say?"
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"She said, um, uh..."
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"Uh, to be honest, kids, I'm having a little trouble..."
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"remembering exactly what their fight was about."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hey, it was 20 years ago. I'll remember."
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"Something weird happened with Zoey last night."
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"- ## [Cell Phone Rings: "Anchors Aweigh"] - Oh, that's the Captain."
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"Yes, I call my husband the Captain."
How I Met Your Mother
"But that is the only concession I make to his seafaring ways."
How I Met Your Mother
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