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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - Nannies (S08E08)

"No, I didn't. I'm not taking any nanny job."
How I Met Your Mother
"I don't understand."
How I Met Your Mother
"The most amazing thing happened at my next interview after you guys."
How I Met Your Mother
"I fell in love with a single dad who turns out to be a billionaire."
How I Met Your Mother
"Tomorrow we're heading off to Paris in his private jet."
How I Met Your Mother
"It's gonna be, as he would say, legend-Wait for it."
How I Met Your Mother
"[ Both ] Barney!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Mr. and Mrs. Eriksen?"
How I Met Your Mother
"itch-bay!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Look, Barneys our friend for some reason..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and everything he told you was a lie."
How I Met Your Mother
"But the good news is you're free to come work for us."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm sorry. I can't nanny for anyone who's friends with this monster."
How I Met Your Mother
"- [ Door Closes ] - [ Barney] Look..."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'd offer you guys coffee..."
How I Met Your Mother
"but I have another nanny interview in about 15 minutes, so-"
How I Met Your Mother
"Barney, quick question. Why are you interviewing nannies?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Glad you asked. You guys were all pressuring me..."
How I Met Your Mother
"to think of a revolutionary new Way to get chicks for Bangtoberfest."
How I Met Your Mother
"So far, everyone we can afford on this Web site, HeyNannyNanny.com..."
How I Met Your Mother
"is Scary Poppins."
How I Met Your Mother
"The Big Bro in the sky had answered my prayers."
How I Met Your Mother
"Almighty five. Ow."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'd introduce you to little baby Edgar, but one, he's napping..."
How I Met Your Mother
"And these nannies are really falling for this?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah. These toys don't even make sense for a baby."
How I Met Your Mother
"You got an air rifle."
How I Met Your Mother
"You got the exact racetrack with the double loop-de-loop I had as a kid."
How I Met Your Mother
"Can I open it? Can I open it? Can I open it?"
How I Met Your Mother
"What about baby Edgar's mom?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, that's a sad story."
How I Met Your Mother
"the coroner's report confirmed What I already feared."
How I Met Your Mother
"The female body cannot withstand..."
How I Met Your Mother
"that many consecutive orgasms."
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay, does anybody have six nine-volt batteries?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Once I got the nannies all sympathetic..."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'd like to see how you handle bath time."
How I Met Your Mother
"Follow me to the tub."
How I Met Your Mother
"[ Panting ] I'm just gonna take the batteries out of these smoke detectors."
How I Met Your Mother
"Cool? Cool."
How I Met Your Mother
"You're perfect for the job."
How I Met Your Mother
"So congratulations. You're hi-"
How I Met Your Mother
"No. I can't do this."
How I Met Your Mother
"I find you very attractive..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and it wouldn't be appropriate."
How I Met Your Mother
"It wouldn't be appropriate."
How I Met Your Mother
"It wouldn't be appropriate."
How I Met Your Mother
"It was like taking candy from an imaginary baby."
How I Met Your Mother
"and interviewed 92 nannies before finding one we liked."
How I Met Your Mother
"And you ruined everything the night before I'm supposed to go back to Work?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Thank you for being the most immature person I have ever met."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Five more minutes. - Now."
How I Met Your Mother
"- I'll be right back. - Okay."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Mmm. Mm-hmm. Mmm. - Mmm."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Mmm. - [Chuckles]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Mmm."
How I Met Your Mother
"- I'll miss you. - Hmm."
How I Met Your Mother
"Why would I need to overcompensate?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I am... deliriously happy in my perfect relationship."
How I Met Your Mother
"Honey, ifs okay."
How I Met Your Mother
"It's the first quarter, and the Browns are only up by three."
How I Met Your Mother
"Robin, I don't Want you to fix this."
How I Met Your Mother
"First of all, the Giants were smart not to run on my Dawg Pound defense."
How I Met Your Mother
"And two, there is no way..."
How I Met Your Mother
"that you like being with a guy who's so emotional and needy."
How I Met Your Mother
"Take your time, sweetie."
How I Met Your Mother
"- You know What I mean. - Hey, you know What?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I-I really appreciate how sensitive and in touch he is with his-"
How I Met Your Mother
"God, who am I kidding?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Twenty bucks says he is crying in the ladies' room right now."
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, at least when he's finished, he's gonna flush."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Sighs]"
How I Met Your Mother
"- on her first day back to work- - [ Knocking ]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Good morning."
How I Met Your Mother
"Mrs. Buckminster, hold me and make everything okay."
How I Met Your Mother
"A Mr. Stimson called the agency and offered to pay my salary."
How I Met Your Mother
"Wow. Really?"
How I Met Your Mother
"It's a nice gesture, but I'm still pissed."
How I Met Your Mother
"He also sent along this."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Are the batteries- - Yes, the batteries are included, dear."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yes!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Now off to work, you two."
How I Met Your Mother
"Mr. Marvin and I are going to get acquainted."
How I Met Your Mother
"Great. I can't wait to hand him off..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and finally get some freedom."
How I Met Your Mother
"You deserve it. Now hand him over."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hand him over, yep."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'll just take little Marvin off your hands then."
How I Met Your Mother
"Take him off my hands. Here he goes."
How I Met Your Mother
"Ready to receive him."
How I Met Your Mother
"I can't give Marvin to a stranger!"
How I Met Your Mother
"[ Clacking ]"
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm sorry, Mrs. Buckminster."
How I Met Your Mother
"We've decided we're not gonna use a nanny after all."
How I Met Your Mother
"- You're fired. - Calm down."
How I Met Your Mother
"Lily, you're just nervous..."
How I Met Your Mother
"about spending your first day away from Marvin..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and that's perfectly normal."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, I am holding on to you forever."
How I Met Your Mother
"And when I die and become a skeleton, I'll still be holding you."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yes, yes."
How I Met Your Mother
"Last night, Nick cried when I killed a spider."
How I Met Your Mother
"You should've brought that spider over to my house..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and I'm thinking maybe / can get her behind a Dumpster and interview her again."
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"They were everywhere."
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"Did you really think you could get away with this?"
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"[Nervous Laugh] As a matter of fact, I did."
How I Met Your Mother
"I woke up in a Dumpster covered in diapers."
How I Met Your Mother
"And I found a pacifier somewhere I'm not Willing to discuss."
How I Met Your Mother
"You're still getting over Quinn."
How I Met Your Mother
"You can't just dive right back into single-Barney mode."
How I Met Your Mother
"But I can't stop myself. I'm out of control."
How I Met Your Mother
"No, I'm not. I'm fine. Now, if you'll excuse me..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Stop me. don't stop me. I'm fine. Help."
How I Met Your Mother
"Being singles great!"
How I Met Your Mother
"You know..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Victoria's messiness just forces me to grow as a cleaner."
How I Met Your Mother
"Totally."
How I Met Your Mother
"And Without Nick, who's gonna hem my pants?"
How I Met Your Mother
"[ Ted Narrating ] Both relationships would implode within the month."
How I Met Your Mother
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