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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - The Drunk Train (S07E07)

"Hey, shh, shh, shh. Kind of on a roll here."
How I Met Your Mother
"and that's why it's important to never keep score."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah, like how"
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"Barney's holding these three hours"
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"over Ted's head."
How I Met Your Mother
"If they were a couple, they'd never work."
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"Obviously. Ted's a Taurus, and Barney is such a Scorpio."
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"Good advice. Don't keep score."
How I Met Your Mother
"They're not even close to finished."
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"How do we not keep score, you ask?"
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"Huh. Hm."
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"Sounds like somebody want to hear some examples, sweetie."
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"Mm-hmm."
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"I'm just gonna close my eyes until it's all over."
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"Here's one."
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"Every time Marshall's mom comes to visit us,"
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"we have to put out all the tacky Minnesota gifts"
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"she's bought us over the years."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hi, Mom! Hi, Mrs. Eriksen!"
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"Marshall."
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"Uh-huh. I don't see"
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"the gopher-hair tea cozy I made you."
How I Met Your Mother
"Guess it wasn't good enough for Lily."
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"But I'd never hold that over Marshall,"
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"because if I did, he'd owe me big-time."
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"Just like I would never hold it over you"
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"for dragging me to that experimental theater piece."
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"Is it... is it just screaming?"
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"But we don't keep score."
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"Because if we did, then Marshall would owe me"
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"How did I know that he would eat my wallet?"
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"Why was your wallet filled with chocolate?!"
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"So we're back to this argument!"
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"in a strange, new universe called..."
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"The Drunk Train."
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"Hey!"
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"Where has this heavenly vehicle been all my life?"
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"Can you hear its inspiring chant, Ted?"
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"It's-it's The Little Engine with Wood,"
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"The Whore-ient Express."
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"The Long Island Tail Road!"
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"Oh, I got one."
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"Thomas the Spank Engine!"
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"Ted, that is a children's book."
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"Okay, as fun as this place is, it's late."
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"So, what's our play?"
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"And don't say, "The Siamese Twins"""
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"We're not stretching out another one of my jackets."
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"No, dude, this is the Drunk Train."
How I Met Your Mother
"We don't need a play!"
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"scope out the hotties, and by the end of the line,"
How I Met Your Mother
"we will totally be sleeping with someone."
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"You know, you are so great."
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"You sat there listening to Marshall and Lily"
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"bicker all night, and you didn't complain once."
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, I am a therapist, so I do plan on billing them."
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"I also have a couple powerful medications that might help."
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"Lily can't take anything; she's pregnant."
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"I meant for us."
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"If we're getting through five more meals"
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"and a sleigh ride with those guys,"
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, if we are keeping score,"
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"I owe you one weekend, mister."
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"I was thinking a little longer than that."
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"What do you mean?"
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"Robin, will you marry me?"
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"Look, I know this is fast."
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"I'm just excited to start a life with you."
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"If that's what you want."
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"Wow."
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"Um..."
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"I'm-I'm not saying no."
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"I'm-I'm not saying anything."
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"I just, um... I-I need some time to think."
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"I totally understand."
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"Um, take as much time as you need."
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"I'll just, uh... I'll just keep this here until you're ready."
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"Any chance we could put that bad boy away for now?"
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"It's really just staring at us, isn't it?"
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"I thought of some new great names for the Drunk Train."
How I Met Your Mother
"Slamtrak!"
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"Uh-huh."
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"Thomas the Spank Engine! I said that one yesterday."
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"I don't think you did."
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"Wow. Someone's had some coffee."
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"Yeah. 18 cups!"
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"There is no way I'm falling asleep tonight!"
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"That Quinn girl is so wrong."
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"She said I could never love anything,"
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"but I love this train!"
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"Oh, you have no idea."
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"Stop staring. Not gonna happen."
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"Is there any way we can start over and get to know each other?"
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"I already know you. Oh, really?"
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"- You wear a suit all the time. - Obviously."
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"You have a stupid rule about everything."
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"I pay for the meal, you handle my deal."
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"That's just good manners."
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"But you end most nights alone at a strip club,"
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"feeling empty inside, telling yourself"
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"I never say epic or classic."
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"Do you practice the dark arts?"
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"No, they did not forget the potato salad"
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"in your takeout order!"
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"For the last time, I'm sorry."
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"It's okay."
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"Your debt is paid."
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"You don't have to come on the Drunk Train anymore."
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"You're never gonna meet the one there, anyway."
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"Every date I've been on lately has been brutal."
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"Last week, I went out with a girl"
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"whose favorite band was Glee."
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"Plus, it's almost Valentine's Day,"
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"and I'm alone without anything close to a girlfriend."
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"So... all aboard!"
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"I have never been more proud of you."
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"Come on."
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"Ted, tonight is gonna be epic--"
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"wait for it-- dary! Wait."
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"No, that's not it."
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