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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - The Drunk Train (S07E07)

"Can we please talk about something"
How I Met Your Mother
"And you are so understanding."
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"You have no chance with me."
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"Relationships are a give and take,"
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"Top ten things Lily said on her wedding night."
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"Solid."
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"Gotcha, loud and clear. Don't keep score."
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"for killing my cousin's dog."
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"That night, Barney and I found ourselves"
How I Met Your Mother
"I think I can get laid, I think I can get laid."
How I Met Your Mother
"All we have to do is sit back, play it cool,"
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"we need to be spaced out of our gourds."
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"Ted! Ted! Ted!"
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"The Chatta-Nookie Choo-Choo!"
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"She said you could never love anything? That's intense."
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"your life is somehow epic or classic or... legendary."
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"Wh-What happened next?!"
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"- Oh, screw the one! - What?"
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"I'm not married to the idea. Lily, take it."
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"I mean, diamond circles."
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"Hey, don't you dare badmouth Vinnie!"
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"Ehhhh!"
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"You think you're better than me?!"
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"See you in a minute."
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"Are you any closer to deciding? Ooh..."
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"Um..."
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""God doesn't play dice with the universe.""
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"The top speed of the Drunk Train is 73 miles per hour,"
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"28 of which are motorboatable,"
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"My God... it's been"
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"Will you marry me?"
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"Thanks for loaning me your shoes"
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"I owe you one."
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"Deal. We're a team."
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"Oh, oh, I am willing to take that risk."
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"you decided to come back to my place and get nasty."
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"Yeah, right."
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"That's why you can't stop "complaining" about her."
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"I don't even care where we go,"
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"Because you're wasting your time here."
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"I just don't think I could ever owe someone that much."
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"Why? You got a girlfriend or something?"
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"♪ Nothing is as it has been..."
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"Sorry this is taking so long."
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"He kicked for everybody else."
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"It's hard for the little guy to perform under pressure."
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"Top ten things Marshall said on his wedding night."
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"Whoa! It was small, but I think I felt something."
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"Top ten things Lily said on her wedding night."
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"Stop laughing at it, Lily."
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"Top ten things Marshall said on his wedding night!"
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"other than my wedding night?"
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"Absolutely. Let's talk about last night."
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"It was a night like any other."
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"I was just about to get laid..."
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"Hey, Barney, I need your help."
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"This hottie I'm talking to is meeting her friend"
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"at a club, so I need a wingman."
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"Well, just so you know, I'd be giving up a sure thing here."
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"Hey!"
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"Are you not a sure thing?"
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"Yeah, I am."
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"This "friend" of yours better be even hotter"
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"and dumber than this one."
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"Wow! You have Enormous Penis Syndrome?"
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"I've never heard of that. Yeah."
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"That's the problem with E.P.S.: lack of awareness."
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"That's why I'm organizing a 10K fun-run."
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"Of course, many of us will need wheelbarrows."
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"You are so brave."
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"Most people just stare at me"
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"like I'm some kind of freak in reinforced underwear."
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"Poor, baby."
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"I can't imagine what you're going through"
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"because I never wear underwear."
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"Jackpot!"
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"You want to get out of here?"
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"Oh, I don't know. This is all moving kind of fast. Okay."
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"Oh, but before we go,"
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"I should mention my condition."
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"It's called: I'm Not a Gullible Dumbass Disorder."
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"As the former Surgeon General, I've got to say,"
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"I don't think that's the real thing."
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"Okay, just stop."
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"We're just here as backups for our friends."
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"Hey, how did you two meet, anyway?"
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"No, we're not doing that first date dance"
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"where you pretend everything I say is fascinating,"
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"thinking it'll somehow get you into my pants."
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"What? Guys don't do that!"
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"Goat cheese? Fascinating!"
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"What else are you allergic to, huh?"
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"You owe me three hours for last night, Mosby."
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"I'm thinking,"
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"laser tag tournament in Newark this weekend."
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"Ted can pass for under 18, right?"
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"It's a father-son thing."
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"Marshall, we should get going. Any later,"
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"and we'll be riding the Drunk Train. Oh."
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"The Drunk Train?"
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"It's the last train of the night"
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"back to Long Island. It's a mess."
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"Just a bunch of drunk,"
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"sloppy idiots, fresh off a night of partying in the city,"
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"just desperate to hook up with anything that moves."
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"Yeah. Bye."
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"See you."
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"New plan, Ted."
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"So this father-son thing."
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"You know, a backwards baseball cap really youngs me down."
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"All aboard!"
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"- For Valentine's weekend, Lily and Marshall invited"
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"Kevin and Robin on a couple's getaway to Vermont."
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"Mmm."
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"16 years together, and still so in love."
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"- Mm. - What's your secret?"
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"The key to relationships is understanding the difference"
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"between hearing and listening."
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"It's about respecting your partner's..."
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"Opinions on..."
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