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Clips from Master of None - Religion (S02E02)

"Hurry up! Let's go!"
Master of None
"Dad, I don't want to go to church."
Master of None
"I don't want to go to processing to have my thetans cleared."
Master of None
"Yeah, he's right here."
Master of None
"Dev..."
Master of None
"Why you saying "salaam alaikum"?"
Master of None
"Seriously? I got to pretend like I'm fasting?"
Master of None
"All right, let's go."
Master of None
"Wonderful."
Master of None
"Um, it was good."
Master of None
"Did you know Hakeem Olajuwon fasted during the NBA Finals?"
Master of None
"Um, I'll be right back to take your order."
Master of None
"Navid, you're looking good, man."
Master of None
"Inshallah, Navid will be the first one."
Master of None
"Tell Dev"
Master of None
"One... two..."
Master of None
"and three."
Master of None
"Your uncle got us tickets to see the Timberwolves play the Knicks"
Master of None
"And the timing has worked out"
Master of None
"Oh."
Master of None
"And, Dev, will you be joining us?"
Master of None
"Navid, you have good hair."
Master of None
"You can do some commercial for shampoo."
Master of None
"For a sexy hair, like this."
Master of None
"You must come with us to hajj in Mecca next year."
Master of None
"Your father says you're quite pious."
Master of None
"Always a good temperature for the prayer."
Master of None
"Dude, just go."
Master of None
"Navid, you're jacked, man. How often you go to the gym?"
Master of None
"Surprisingly, I do mostly back."
Master of None
"It's all about the frame."
Master of None
"Oh, my God."
Master of None
"Right?"
Master of None
"Not like white kids telling their parents about fucking."
Master of None
"Have fun with your portobello and hummus."
Master of None
"How about some nice seafood?"
Master of None
"What's going on, guys?"
Master of None
"Stay for prayer."
Master of None
"Oh, shit, Tickler's is in the mix."
Master of None
"Yeah."
Master of None
"Oh, yeah."
Master of None
"Dude, this sausage looks so good."
Master of None
"Okay, this is crazy."
Master of None
"but I ain't got to hide who I am."
Master of None
"Not that eating pork is on the same level of scrutiny as being gay,"
Master of None
"Oh, yeah."
Master of None
"and a veggie green curry... medium spicy."
Master of None
"And for you guys?"
Master of None
"Um, is there any specialties of the kitchen?"
Master of None
"It's fantastic."
Master of None
"What... What's going on?"
Master of None
"Ramesh, we are getting out of here."
Master of None
"I like mahi-mahi."
Master of None
"What about all the stuff with women?"
Master of None
"What is this, Fox News?"
Master of None
"You don't wear the hijab."
Master of None
"For you guys, religion has this cultural value."
Master of None
"I am really disappointed in you."
Master of None
"I read a little Harry Potter."
Master of None
"I took it to the Apple Store"
Master of None
"Did you really go to the Apple Store?"
Master of None
"I asked her to heat up a pizza."
Master of None
"What do you mean?"
Master of None
"When you went out to school,"
Master of None
"we gave you a Qur'an."
Master of None
"When you act like this,"
Master of None
"What's Super Singer?"
Master of None
"Only Indian people sings,"
Master of None
"no whites."
Master of None
"Too bad. You have to go."
Master of None
"I hate going to temple."
Master of None
"I don't feel good. I just want to stay home!"
Master of None
"Here you go."
Master of None
"Whoa, this is good. What is it?"
Master of None
"It's bacon."
Master of None
"You've never had this before?"
Master of None
"Nope."
Master of None
"Hello?"
Master of None
"Dev, your mom's on the phone."
Master of None
"Hi, Mom."
Master of None
"I thought you were coming home. What are you doing over there?"
Master of None
"I'm eating bacon."
Master of None
"Bacon is pork. We are Muslims."
Master of None
"We are not allowed to eat pork."
Master of None
"I can't eat it? But it's so good."
Master of None
"Po-da. That's our religion."
Master of None
"Hurry up and come home."
Master of None
"Okay."
Master of None
"Salaam alaikum, brother."
Master of None
"Salil Uncle and Sabina Auntie are religious."
Master of None
"Don't order any pork."
Master of None
"Just play along, man."
Master of None
"You're an actor, or you were an actor."
Master of None
"I don't know what you do now."
Master of None
"All right."
Master of None
"Ah."
Master of None
"Hey, how's it going?"
Master of None
"As-salaam alaikum, Dev."
Master of None
"Dev, it is so good to see you, beedu."
Master of None
"Good to see you too. How is everything?"
Master of None
"So, Dev, how was the fasting today?"
Master of None
"You know, I didn't eat anything from sunrise to sunset,"
Master of None
"so I'd say solid fast."
Master of None
"And it must be very difficult to fast with all those tasty cupcakes at work."
Master of None
"Mm."
Master of None
"Wow. Fun fasting fact, huh, Navid?"
Master of None
"Yeah, I've heard it before."
Master of None
"Sorry to interrupt, folks."
Master of None
"we're down to our last one if you'd like to order it."
Master of None
"No, we don't eat pork."
Master of None
"Okay, no problem."
Master of None
"Great."
Master of None
"Do you ever think about modeling?"
Master of None
"Like fashion modeling?"
Master of None
"We need more Indian models."
Master of None
"More? Is there even one?"
Master of None
"to make some photos."
Master of None
"We'll make a portfolio"
Master of None
"Wow."
Master of None
"So, Navid, we'll schedule that shoot soon."
Master of None
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