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Clips from Modern Family (2009) - The Old Man & the Tree (S05E05)

"Honey, it's Christmas Eve."
Modern Family (2009)
"I can smell the bacon and the reasonably priced medications."
Modern Family (2009)
"Would you care to take a visit to the Museum of Maternal indifference?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Books... on a shoe shelf. Right."
Modern Family (2009)
"Seriously? Nothing?"
Modern Family (2009)
"♪ Hey, hey♪"
Modern Family (2009)
"♪ Hey, hey♪"
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, no! She put a "P" backwards."
Modern Family (2009)
"Um, honey, it's-"
Modern Family (2009)
"No."
Modern Family (2009)
"So, you're arguing that we walked entirely around the earth?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Give me the ax."
Modern Family (2009)
"- I know! - Sorry it took so long."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, well, it-it's not such a big job."
Modern Family (2009)
"My mother taught me, and now I teach Claire."
Modern Family (2009)
"Still hurts, huh?"
Modern Family (2009)
"I had her bed all made."
Modern Family (2009)
"They fill you full of freebies."
Modern Family (2009)
"Just bring it to a recycling place."
Modern Family (2009)
"The best business card is a firm handshake."
Modern Family (2009)
"Just picture that."
Modern Family (2009)
"I'm picturing it."
Modern Family (2009)
"He travels a lot."
Modern Family (2009)
"Yes, you can put me on the last-minute shoppers waiting list."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, looks like someone did a little last-minute Christmas shopping."
Modern Family (2009)
"I got it."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Is she always like this? - Yes."
Modern Family (2009)
"The only thing I sent her was an e-card."
Modern Family (2009)
"Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, my God! Oh, my God!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Can you see it?"
Modern Family (2009)
"All right. Come on, sweetie."
Modern Family (2009)
"That's okay, Mom."
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay. Come on. Let's go."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, my gosh."
Modern Family (2009)
"What's a Himalayan salt plate?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Except the saw's still stuck in the trunk."
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay, everybody, picture in front of the tree."
Modern Family (2009)
"No, no. Another one."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, no!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Maybe even precious."
Modern Family (2009)
"How could you screw this up?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, God."
Modern Family (2009)
"it's a little early, isn't it?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Go back to sleep. I don't need you awake for this."
Modern Family (2009)
"Are you gonna spend all day on that thing?"
Modern Family (2009)
"I made a promise. Yes!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Last Christmas, Phil got an elliptical machine..."
Modern Family (2009)
"and vowed to walk the equivalent of our house to Canada in one year."
Modern Family (2009)
"This body doesn't just happen, ladies."
Modern Family (2009)
"If he didn't make it, no machine in the bedroom."
Modern Family (2009)
"Except for this machine in the bedroom, ladies."
Modern Family (2009)
"Who are these ladies?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, Phil, give it up."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, you would love that, wouldn't you?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Just when I'm so close to the Canadian border..."
Modern Family (2009)
"Mom, this came for you from Nana."
Modern Family (2009)
"I don't know why she bothers to wrap it every year."
Modern Family (2009)
"It's always the same thing- slippers."
Modern Family (2009)
"You never know. She might surprise you this year."
Modern Family (2009)
"Watch it!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh. Careful!"
Modern Family (2009)
"You guys are really moving her downstairs right now?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Aren't you gonna be late for work?"
Modern Family (2009)
"They're not gonna fire an elf on Christmas Eve."
Modern Family (2009)
"Ugh. I thought this would be lighter without my shoes on it."
Modern Family (2009)
"You know, once you set up your room, you could put books on this."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Not gonna jump on that? - I'm just too happy."
Modern Family (2009)
"After today, there'll be no more clothes thrown everywhere..."
Modern Family (2009)
"no more hour-long phone calls where all she says is "No way.""
Modern Family (2009)
"I think it's a little sad that you guys are doing this today."
Modern Family (2009)
"I remember when you used to get into the same bed on Christmas Eve..."
Modern Family (2009)
"and talk about all the presents you were gonna get."
Modern Family (2009)
"It's a perfect day for it."
Modern Family (2009)
"When I wake up in my own room tomorrow..."
Modern Family (2009)
"I'm going to be giving thanks for my independence."
Modern Family (2009)
"And isn't that what Christmas is all about?"
Modern Family (2009)
"♪ Hey, hey♪"
Modern Family (2009)
"This is your great-grandmother's recipe."
Modern Family (2009)
"If she could see you now-"
Modern Family (2009)
"She would die again because you're doing it wrong!"
Modern Family (2009)
"My mother has been here all week."
Modern Family (2009)
"I love her very much, but you know what they say-"
Modern Family (2009)
"House guests start to stink after three days, like dead bodies."
Modern Family (2009)
"What the hell is that?"
Modern Family (2009)
"A fiber-optic tree."
Modern Family (2009)
"It's way better for the environment than a real one."
Modern Family (2009)
"Not if the environment is my living room."
Modern Family (2009)
"Look, I admit, it takes some getting used to, but so did Greek yogurt."
Modern Family (2009)
"Now I can't even remember how the old stuff tastes."
Modern Family (2009)
"Why do we keep changing things that don't need changing?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Christmas is real trees and eggnog."
Modern Family (2009)
"Perry Como and Bing on the hi-fi."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Now you're just making up words. - I'm drawing a line in the sand."
Modern Family (2009)
"We're gonna get a real tree and cut it down like I did when I was a kid."
Modern Family (2009)
"Follow me."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Hi, Dad. - Can't talk. Saving Christmas."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Ay. Thank you again for coming. - No problem."
Modern Family (2009)
"- I love babysitting. - Good."
Modern Family (2009)
"We're going to run some quick errands."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Wait. if you're taking Joe- - Hola, Claire."
Modern Family (2009)
"Around 4:00, she gets fussy for her bottle."
Modern Family (2009)
"Um-"
Modern Family (2009)
"Lily, do you know why I'm able to relax and read this paper today?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Because you don't have a job?"
Modern Family (2009)
"I am starting a new job in exactly-"
Modern Family (2009)
"No. We're not doing this again."
Modern Family (2009)
"It's because I planned ahead."
Modern Family (2009)
"I finished my Christmas shopping weeks ago."
Modern Family (2009)
"It's important to keep busy."
Modern Family (2009)
"I-it is perfectly normal to take some downti-"
Modern Family (2009)
"No. No."
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay. I printed out the directions to Pepper's party."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh. We're calling it "The 12 Gays of Christmas" now."
Modern Family (2009)
"Just be thankful we talked him out of "Feliz Navidude.""
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay, honey, finish your breakfast so we can go help our fellow man."
Modern Family (2009)
"One hour at this charity event, max."
Modern Family (2009)
"I can't eat. I'm too excited to get my Puppy Pound."
Modern Family (2009)
"- I'm- I'm sorry. Your what? - Puppy Pounds have six puppies with online profiles."
Modern Family (2009)
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