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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - Side Sitting (S10E10)

"-Huh? -Leon: Ate your ass for dinner."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"On the river, you get a nine."
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"Richard: Cincinnati Kid."
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"You are the luckiest guy around."
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"-Honest to God. -Yeah, yeah, luckiest guy around."
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"I went to the doctor this week, and, I, uh..."
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"She found something, and..."
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"-She's testing for, you know, cancer, so... -Jeff: Wow."
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"-I'll find out in a few days. -Really?"
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"-Yeah. I'm sure it's nothing, you know. -Jeff: You're kidding me."
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"You're up."
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"Well, I just want to let you know,"
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"lettin' you know,"
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"I-I'm not a cancer friend. I can't do the cancer friend."
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"-That's not me. It's too much. Too much. -Mm. Yeah."
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"You know, I gotta agree with Jeff."
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"If you get cancer, I'll never speak to you again."
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"-Andy: Wow. -I get that. Yeah."
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"When I found out my daddy had cancer,"
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"I never spoke to that man again."
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"-I even stopped taking his calls. -Wow. Really?"
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"-Swat: Yep. -Did he die?"
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"I don't know."
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"-Mm. -Whoa."
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"Leon: That's fuckin' deep, man."
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"All right, I'll tell you what. I have a proposal."
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"Let's make a little deal here, okay?"
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"A no-cancer friend reciprocity pact."
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"If anyone gets it, we all stop being friends with you,"
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"and vice versa."
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"(chattering)"
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"-Leon: Let's go, baby. -Jeff: Okay."
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"Sorry I'm late."
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"I detest every single person in a car."
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"-There are a lot of stupid drivers, yeah. -Yeah."
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"that talc incident."
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"I say next time, just..."
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"Yeah. Oh, geez, look at, look at this thing."
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"Jesus, look, look, what-- I, I don't understand it."
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"-Another wobbly table. -I know."
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"They're all over. It's an epidemic."
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"-Mm. -Ours are gonna be cemented in... (laughs)"
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"-They're gonna be cemented in the ground. -Mm-hmm."
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"Ah. You know what? I think I'll do a little, uh,"
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"a little side-sitting."
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"-A side-sit? -Yeah. A side-sit."
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"I don't think that's a good idea."
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"-Why? What's the big deal? -Well, it's, uh, very intimate."
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"I-- This is too far to talk to somebody."
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"It feels a little close."
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"-Cheryl: Lionel? -Larry: Yeah."
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"Yeah. Something about that guy gives me the creeps."
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"-Yeah. -Um..."
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"-How are you doing? -Good. Can I introduce you to my friend, the elephant?"
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"-Keeps growing. -Yes, yes."
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"I mean, how do you feel about it?"
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"Well, I feel the same as I've always felt."
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"Yeah, I don't..."
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"I think we need to..."
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"end it, call it off."
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"I think we should be apart."
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"You know, I... (clears throat)"
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"I was at the doctor,"
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"and I'm waiting to get some..."
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"cancer?"
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"It's just a test, right?"
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"-Yeah. -Yeah."
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"It's a test, but..."
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"-it's a test for cancer. -Right."
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"I mean, a lot of people get tested."
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"Not for cancer."
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"-Yeah, a lot of people get tested for cancer. -No, this is cancer."
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"-It's a cancer test. -I know a lot of people--"
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"No, this is cancer."
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"-Could you excuse us for a sec? -Sure."
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"Well, I hope your tests come back negative,"
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"but we're not gonna get back together."
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"Hypothetically, suppose she told me I had..."
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"two years."
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"Would that alter your thinking about us at all?"
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"-You mean, get together for two years until you died? -Yeah. Yeah."
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"-Do you? Yeah. -Yeah, I'd be complaining a little bit."
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"But I can get a nurse and complain to the nurse"
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"and leave you out of that part."
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"Okay. I think we're good the way we are."
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"Yeah."
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"All right. (sighs)"
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"-Almost finished. Just need to pick up two-- -Larry: Hey, Milos!"
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"-(Milos laughs) -How ya doing?"
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"-Good. How are you? -Good. You coming over to the coffee store later?"
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"-Of course. I'll be there. I got to finish up. See you. -Larry: Beautiful. Thank you."
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"-Milos, he's gonna be doing some work in the coffee place. -Yeah, he's fantastic."
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"Wh-what's that?"
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"So how'd it go with Cheryl?"
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"Not gonna happen."
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"-Did you think it would happen? -No, I knew it was a long shot,"
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"but what are, you know, what are you gonna do?"
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"I'll tell you what you do. You're gonna get back out there."
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"You can't date now. You can't--"
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"How do you even make a move in this climate?"
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"Plus, I got that sexual harassment thing from the, uh, assistant."
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"And I'm old and bald."
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"-That means nothing. -Please. Are you kidding?"
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"-You're rich! -You think rich beats old and bald?"
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"You could have mutton chops and wear a, a cartoon tie"
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"of, uh, Felix the Cat."
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"Some old-timey cartoon."
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"-(laughing) -You can, you can paint them blue,"
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"-Really? -Trust me. Yeah."
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"that invitation, it, it didn't get lost."
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"-No, of course not. -You made that whole thing up."
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"-Yeah. Totally made it up. -Oh, you're good."
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"-Blame it on the mailman. -Yeah."
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"-Susie: Jeffrey! -Oh..."
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"-Oh, hi, Lar. -Oh, hello."
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"-I didn't know you were here. -Larry: I am here."
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"-Yeah? What? -Stand right there."
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"What? What? What?"
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"-For your birthday! -You've never gotten me a birthday gift."
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"Yeah, what is it? What is it?"
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