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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - Side Sitting (S10E10)

"You are like a president in the 18th century"
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"I think you can introduce me sort of as a renaissance man."
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"the main points of the sexual harassment complaint"
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"The first contention is you yanked at her clothes."
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"(scoffs) I yanked at her-- I cleaned my glasses."
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"-Cleaned your glasses. -Her shirttail was sticking out."
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"I cleaned my glasses. Oh, boy. Oh, boy."
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"-Send me to the cooler. -I don't want you to worry about it."
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"I can handle this."
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"If she gets anything at all here, it would be a travesty."
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"And I would, I would leave the country."
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"I don't know where I'd go, but I would leave."
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"I hear Canada is a good place, maybe."
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"-But it's cold. -I don't recommend moving to Canada."
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"What about-- what about like a Pacific island or something?"
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"I want to assure you that as upsetting as this is,"
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"I think we'll either be able to make it go away"
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"or come to a reasonable settlement."
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"A settlement? A reasonable settlement?"
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""Millions for defense. Not one cent for tribute.""
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"That's what we said when the British were impressing our seamen."
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"They'd be on the ship, they'd yell across at one of our ships."
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""Hey, there! We have the best dental plan in all of Europe."
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""Why, look at our bicorn hats and fancy brass buttons."
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"How's that, sailors? Are you impressed by that?""
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"Anything else we haven't gone over?"
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"If anything comes to you after this conversation..."
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"-You'll be the first to know. -...you're in your car, you're driving home..."
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"-Yeah. -...pick up the phone."
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"If I do happen to call you, which I very well could,"
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"-to compensation. -Mm."
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"in their use of our services."
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"So you charge me."
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"Yeah."
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"Uh, all right, I think that takes care of it."
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"-May I use your bathroom? -Yeah, the bathroom's, uh,"
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"just to your right, down the hall."
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"Yeah. No. I already saw that, but I'm here, and, you know, it's..."
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"-an infinitely better bathroom than to send me to a public-- -Oh, it's nothing special."
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"You'll be much happier down the hall. We just redid 'em. They're great."
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"I'll leave it exactly the way I found it."
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"I'm like a murderer going in there."
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"I completely expunge all evidence that I was ever there."
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"Motion denied, as they say in the profession."
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"♪"
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"Roger: Down the hall and to the right."
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"Hi."
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"-Mr. David. -Validation, please."
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"(scoffs)"
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"Is that a problem?"
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"Well, I mean, to be perfectly honest,"
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"It's not about the money, okay?"
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"It's about having to go into your pants pocket,"
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"in a car when you're paying."
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"Have you ever been in a car trying to get to your pocket?"
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"-It does seem like a great deal of effort. -Yes."
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"This is why homeless people don't make a lot of money"
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"from people in cars, 'cause nobody wants to go into their pockets."
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"There you are, Mr. David. You have a lovely day."
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"Yeah. Uh, you know what?"
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"This is only for an hour."
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"I was here for at least an hour-ten."
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"Sure thing."
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"Here, Mr. David. You have a good day."
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"Hope to see you again. I intend to be in this building a lot."
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"-That's fantastic. -(elevator dings)"
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"Larry, uh, this is Dr. Bahn."
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"-Yeah? -I'm not liking some of the numbers I'm seeing"
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"and would like to test you for thyroid cancer."
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"(gasps softly)"
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"Dr. Bahn (over phone): I would like to get an MRI"
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"Has it... spread?"
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"Well, that we don't know, and that's why"
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"I'd like to get you in for some tests today."
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"-What are my odds? -Dr. Bahn: Uh, Larry, it's way too early"
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"to be thinking that way."
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"Just contact my office, and, uh,"
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"we should get the results in two days."
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"(groans)"
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"(table whirring)"
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"Possible flush, no straight."
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"-Go ahead, Leon. You got the bet. -Woo!"
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"-You got the bet. -See what I got."
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"-Larry: Come on, spend some money. -Bam!"
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"-Nope. -Andy: Swat?"
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"-Richard? -Two."
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"-(clatters) -Ooh."
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"-All right, I'm in. -(clattering)"
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"Why weren't you at the fundraiser the other night?"
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"-For the prison art collectors? -What, what, what fundraiser?"
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"For the prisoners who draw art."
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"I sent you the invitation. Why weren't you there?"
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"-I never got the invite. -We sent it."
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"Never got it. Must have got lost in the mail."
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"Aah, boy. I don't trust the mail anymore. I swear I don't."
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"That stinks. I would have gone to that."
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"-You would have enjoyed it. -Leon: Wow."
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"Andy: All right, next card is a ten of spades."
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"-(sputters) I'm out. I fold. -Andy: Okay, he's out. Go ahead."
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"Andy: You're out. You check."
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"-Richard: I fold. -Fold."
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"-Really? -I just wanna give you-- Yeah."
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"I wanna give you a heads up."
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"Susie's birthday is in about a week."
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"Why are you giving me a heads up?"
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"-Get the hell out of here. She told you to tell me? -Jeff: Yeah. Yeah."
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"As a matter of fact, she wants a camera."
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"She's shameless, this woman. She's shameless."
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"-It's unbelievable. -Wow."
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"You don't get to pick your gift, okay?"
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"-I'm not a Sears catalog. -Just lettin' you know. Just lettin' you know."
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"Anyway, I already got her something. It's gonna be a nice surprise."
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"-Really? -Larry: Yeah."
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"All right, nine is the last card."
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"You got the bet."
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"Go ahead. You guys are out. Go ahead."
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"Okay. Twenty bucks, aces."
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"I have a pair of aces. I call. What do you have?"
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"-Larry: Okay. I got three nines. -(all groaning)"
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"-Ooh! Shit! -Andy: That's unbelievable."
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