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Clips from What We Do in the Shadows - The Prisoner (S03E03)

"-You can just hand it to me. I'm not... -Stay."
What We Do in the Shadows
"-...not gonna hurt you. -NANDOR: Nice job."
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"Yay, more raw chicken."
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"The prisoner will slide his bucket of shame"
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"over to the sally port."
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"And the prisoner will be reminded"
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"not to make any sudden movements,"
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"-lest he get the prod. -I have a name."
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"Just slide your shit bucket over to sally's port."
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"Thank you."
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"-[Nadja retching] -NANDOR: Careful."
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"-GUILLERMO: There you go. -COLIN: Come to Mama."
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"GUILLERMO: This is ridiculous. Can't you just let me out?"
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"-You know I wouldn't hurt you. -LASZLO: Bullshit. Please remember"
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"that this man is a vampire killer."
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"I was protecting you! I saved your lives!"
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"Yes, and we have taken that into consideration."
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"But we are still in discussions about"
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"what your fate is going to be."
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"Oh, okay. And may I ask how far along you are"
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"-in these discussions? Or is it one of those things -LASZLO: No."
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"where you just linger and argue with each other"
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"'cause you don't have a Guillermo next to you"
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"to solve all of your problems?"
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"-This fucking guy. -Insolent! -You need to prod him."
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"Hey, hey, hey! The prisoner will be reminded"
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"to treat his captors with respect"
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"-and kindness. -Yes."
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"-Or he'll taste the wrath of my... -NANDOR: Do it."
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"-GUILLERMO: Don't touch the metal. -Prod. Ow!"
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"-Shit! -NANDOR: Ay, shit."
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"-You okay? -No! -LASZLO: Let's go."
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"We've lingered here long enough."
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"He'll just do his mind magic on us."
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"-What? -That's probably what he's doing with my cattle prod."
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"-GUILLERMO: No, don't touch that end, Colin Rob... -Ow!"
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"-NANDOR: Ay, fuck. -Shit! That one was on me."
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"-Not giving you credit for that one. -GUILLERMO: I don't want credit."
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"We will make a judgement about your future shortly."
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"And who's gonna protect you, huh?"
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"I'm not asking"
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"for any kind of special treatment!"
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"I'm just want to protect you from yourselves!"
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"Laszlo. Laszlo?"
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"-No, Laszlo... -[electricity buzzing]"
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"COLIN: Ow, Fuck!"
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"Okay, so, day 30 of imprisonment."
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"Not bad, actually."
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"I get pretty good Wi-Fi down here, so I've been able"
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"to rewatch some of my favorites."
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"Did another round of Gilmore Girls.[chuckles]"
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"I can show you around if you want, give you a tour."
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"Here, this is my bed."
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"Here's my mini fridge."
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"And there's the chicken they think I eat raw."
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"And some Yoo-hoos."
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"And that is where I, um... yeah."
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"Without me, the vampires don't know what they're doing."
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"Like, literally they can't do anything without me."
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"They can't even imprison someone."
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"You want to see something cool?"
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"Here's a little secret."
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"What I've been doing is I've been"
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"sneaking out when they go into slumber."
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"Colin Robinson heads out to work by 9:45,"
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"so I'm up by then."
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"I've been coming up here and doing all the things"
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"that need to be done to keep the house functioning."
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"♪"
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"Of course they don't notice, because"
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"they just think it happens automatically."
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"It doesn't."
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"I do it."
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"Heads up."
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"I mean, I should really just consider"
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"escaping,"
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"And leaving."
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"And never coming back."
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"Especially 'cause they're considering"
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"you know, killing me. [laughs]"
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"-Thank you. -But I just wonder what"
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"would happen if I wasn't here to help them out."
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"They're like family."
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"I know--"
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"codependent much? [short chuckle]"
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"[crows cawing]"
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"NADJA: Look, I, too have developed"
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"a small seed of affection"
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"for Guillermo, but the vampire code stands."
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"He killed vampires, therefore he must be killed."
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"NANDOR: What about the warrior's code?"
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"A man who saves your life in battle should be owed"
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"a debt of eternal gratitude and mercy."
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"Ah, yeah, the, uh, perennial conundrum between"
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"-the warrior code and the vampire code... -[thud]"
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"What... Uh, whoa, whoa, whoa, what was that?"
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"NADJA: Oh, you know what, it's probably one of the black birds"
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"that's been gathering outside lately."
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"[Nandor grunts]"
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"[sighs]"
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"How you holding up?"
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"Yeah, comme ci, comme ça."
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"I don't know what that means."
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"So... has there been any updates"
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"-on... my fate? -No."
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"It's really looking like we're going to end up killing you."
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"Well..."
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"-I'm a soldier. -Yes."
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"Not a great warrior like you, of course, but..."
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"-Oh, thank you. -...a soldier nonetheless."
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"Who saved your life."
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"And would do it again in a heartbeat."
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"'Cause that's the code I live by."
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"The code of the warrior."
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"Yes."
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"This is what I've been trying to tell them."
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"You are?"
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"There's a code amongst warriors."
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"-The warriors code. -Yes."
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"Sadly, I am but a lone voice crying out in the..."
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