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Clips from What We Do in the Shadows - The Prisoner (S03E03)

"ARCHER: You're probably wondering what we're doing."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Short answer, saving the earth."
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"Again."
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"I'm not leaving without you."
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"I need something soft to land on."
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"[BOTH SCREAMING]"
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"[cawing]"
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"It is a dark time in Staten Island."
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"A lot of vampires have been slaughtered."
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"[grunting, screaming]"
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"Not us, thankfully. We're fine."
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"But are we?"
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"I don't think we are. [short chuckle]"
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"NANDOR: The worst part"
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"is that it was our familiar"
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"that did the slaughtering."
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"The worst part is it was Nandor's"
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"own familiar that did the slaughtering."
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"It was Nandor's employee."
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"Really Nandor's responsibility."
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"-Yep. -Talk to Nandor."
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"It is true that Guillermo--"
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"the familiar that all of us share command of"
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"and responsibility for-- is the one that did the slaughtering."
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"-Aah! -NANDOR: But he did it"
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"to save our lives from the Vampiric Council."
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"Still, he should not have done so much slaughtering."
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"I frankly couldn't give a cat's knuckle about Gizmo."
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"I mean, he's just kind of this fluttering lickspittle"
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"that is always bouncing about, always behind Nandor."
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"-But Nandor likes him. -LASZLO: Oh, shut up, Colin Robinson."
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"-You're giving me the pip. -Yes."
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"And we are running out of time here."
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"Well, I guess I should just shut the fuck up then."
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"If you insist."
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"NADJA: I'm not objecting."
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"You know, we know what we have to do."
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"We have to put Guillermo to death"
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"before he puts all of us to death."
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"-But he saved our lives. -NADJA: Okay, so we're saying,"
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""Thank you for saving us, but sorry,"
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"you're our mortal enemy-- you got to die, babes.""
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"But we are still in imminent danger."
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"May I remind you all that we were sentenced"
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"to death by the Vampiric Council for killing vampires."
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"-Which he did. -And then more vampires were killed."
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"-By him. -Which means they're gonna send more assassins"
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"over here to get us. And perhaps our familiar..."
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"-Your familiar, dickhead. -You hired him, you bloody plonker."
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"...is the only one that can protect us."
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"But how do you know he's not going to kill us?"
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"-It is in his bloods. -COLIN: Ah, yes."
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"Francis Galton's perennial conundrum:"
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"-nature versus nurture... -LASZLO: Shut the fuck up."
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"-Speak quiet, Colin Robinson. -Stop it, Colin Robinson."
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"DOLL NADJA: Everybody relax. I have given this"
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"a lot of thought, and my vote is..."
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"-You don't get a vote. -Hey!"
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"-Why not? -Because you are basically"
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"just another version of Nadja,"
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"and so your vote would be the same as hers,"
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"-which is not fair. -BOTH: You don't know that."
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"-Just because... -Oh, sorry, you go."
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"-No, you go. -No, you go."
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"-Okay, I'll go. -Okay, fine."
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"What would your vote be?"
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"Death."
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"What a brilliant point she has."
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"I think we should slumber on this."
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"We do not have time to slumber! The Vampiric Council is probably"
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"-out there now searching for us and him as we speak. -[bell ringing]"
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"Silence! And hark."
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"That was him."
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"What could he want?"
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"Perhaps he is warning us of an imminent danger."
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"Or maybe his poop bucket's full."
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"-We must check. -I hope it's the poop bucket."
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"Oh, and while you're down there..."
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"kill him."
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"["You're Dead" by Norma Tanega playing]"
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"♪ Don't sing if you want to live long♪"
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"♪ They have no use for your song♪"
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"♪ You're dead, you're dead, you're dead♪"
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"♪ You're dead and out of this world♪"
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"♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone♪"
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"♪ You sold out your dream to the world♪"
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"♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead♪"
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"♪ You're dead and out of this world.♪"
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"NANDOR: Make sure that you use the handrail, because"
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"-the stairs are very steep. -[clattering]"
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"LASZLO: Stupid prick."
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"NANDOR: When was he last fed?"
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"-COLIN: What day is it? -LASZLO: Sunday, maybe?"
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"Really? Gosh, it feels like Saturday."
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"It's just, like, "Where did my weekend go?""
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"[laughing]: Am I right?"
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"NANDOR: This is why I said we should have a checklist"
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"of when he was fed and who fed him."
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"[speaking foreign language]"
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"How long has he been down here?"
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"Almost a month. 29 days."
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"A month, and you've not decided his fate yet?"
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"Well, I have certainly been trying to."
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"A decision like that, there's a lot of moving parts."
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"Got it."
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"Now remember, do not look him directly in the eyes."
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"We still do not know the depths of his power."
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"I never looked him in the eyes anyway, so I'm certainly"
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"not gonna start now. Get the door open."
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"Stand aside."
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"-Hi. -Guillermo, why did you summon us?"
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"-Is there a threat of imminent danger? -No."
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"-Stand back! He's lunging at us! -NADJA: Oh! -Not that I know of."
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"-My bathroom bucket's full, needs to be emptied. -NANDOR: Eesh."
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"-Okay. Maybe one of you big, strong men... -I'll do it. I'll do it."
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"I-I think it's important that I sift through the scat"
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"to see if he's sending out any secret messages."
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"-LASZLO: Scat away. -NANDOR: Good thinking."
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"NADJA: Um, so, here are your foods."
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"-[short chuckle] -Thank you, Nadja."
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