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Clips from What We Do in the Shadows - Brain Scramblies (S02E02)

"Calm yourself, dear."
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"You're just feeling a little bit demented,"
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"that's all."
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"I'm so sorry about your brain."
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"Oh, yeah, everythingshe's saying is completely true."
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"I am Nadja."
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"Sean's mother Joanie grew up right here in this house."
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"We used to have so much fun together."
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"I used to pin her to the ceiling for hours."
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"She cried and cried."
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"-I know you. -Guys, uh, can you help get Ma back up to bed?"
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"I know her. I know who she is."
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"NADJA: She used to be such a cute, little"
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"fresh-faced girl."
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"But now she just looks like an elephant's knee."
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"-Okay, don't make me pick you up, Joan. -NADJA: Sorry"
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"-about how demented you are. Oh.-"
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"SEAN: And here it is. The crown jewel of the home."
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"The world's largest collection"
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"of Ocean's Twelvememorabilia."
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"Brad Pitt's tinted sunglasses from when"
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"he first meets Baron Toulour. Ooh!"
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"Scott Caan bobblehead, mint condish. Yeah, it's like,"
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"they did some decent world-building in Eleven,"
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"but it all pays off in Ocean's Twelve."
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"You need to fucking stop talkingabout the sea."
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"-What? -We know that you know our secret."
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"What secret?"
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"That we are vampires."
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"You said it downstairs in front"
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"-of all of your round friends. -I was just joking."
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"You're not vampires. Get the fuck out of here."
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"Yes, we are."
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"Whoa! How are you doing this?"
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"Where are the wires? How are you doing that?!"
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"I'm thinking maybe he didn't know."
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"-So, we shouldn't hypnotize him?-"
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"-No, now we definitely should. -Oh, fuck."
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"Vampires are real."
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"-Vampires are real! -Let the double hypnosis"
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"-commence."
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"We command"
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"-that you forget... -You forget"
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"-everything. -...that we are vampires, please."
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"I think it's worked."
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"What happened?"
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"Quite all right, Sean?"
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"Uh, yeah, totally."
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"But wh-who's Sean?"
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"Shit. He's forgotten everything."
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"CLAUDE: So, what are some of the terms we use for vampires?"
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"Mosquitoes."
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"Suckers. Biters."
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"GUILLERMO : I know that it seems like"
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"a big coincidence that I go outlooking for virgins"
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"and find a secret den of vampire hunters,"
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"but this is no coincidence."
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"Okay? It's like the universe has been trying"
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"to tell me for a long time, "Hey, Guillermo.""
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"And I've been like, "I don't know, I don't think so.""
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"But now like, "Hey, Guillermo."
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"Yeah, dude. Yeah.""
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"CLAUDE: Familiars"
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"are pathetic,"
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"lonely, desperate, low-IQ,"
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"sad losers."
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"They live to do the bidding of their cruel,"
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"uncaring masters."
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"Okay, gonna open up the floor to"
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"any thoughts and/or suggestions."
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"Oh, um, Claude, okay."
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"One idea that I had is, uh,"
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"that I think that we should all have sex with each other."
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"'Cause that way if any of us is a virgin, then, you know,"
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"we wouldn't be any longer."
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"And then it would prevent us from being targeted"
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"-by vampires. -Derek..."
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"you need to stop suggesting that."
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"Okay, yeah, yeah, to-totally, yeah."
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"Knock, knock, Joanie."
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"Miss Nadja, is it really you?"
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"Yes, of course it is me."
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"I was lying down there."
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"Oh, I've missed you so much, my little Joanie!"
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"So, did you have a good life?"
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"Uh, yes."
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"I-I think so. Oh!"
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"I took a trip to Nova Scotia at one point."
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"And did you marry that boy you liked?"
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"-Franklin? -Yeah."
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"Oh, yes, I..."
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"Oh, wow, look."
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"You were very beautiful for a very brief moment."
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"Wait."
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"Where did you get this necklace?"
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"This is my necklace."
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"-Pardon? -The jade one in this photo."
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"You motherfucker!"
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"It was my prized jade necklace."
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"It was given to me by my mother when I was young,"
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"just before she was eaten by a bear."
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"I should have known you would have stolen it!"
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"You were always a sneaky little human shit!"
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"You know, if you listen to it,you can still hear her screams."
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"-It was the type of jade"
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"that absorbs human screams."
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"And she was really screaming."
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"So it took it very strongly. Thieving bitch!"
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"Give it back to me!"
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"You little brat, where is it?!"
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"I don't know what you're talking about!"
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"You are a lying piece of old cabbage!"
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"But I don't know what you're talking-- help!"
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"Help! I'm having an episode! Help!"
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"-She attacked me! -Oh, no, she didn't."
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"-Oh, she-she did. -Nadia, go."
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"Go enjoy yourself, we'll take care of her."
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"-Ma, she didn't attack you. -She-she did."
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"Mama? Mama?"
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"Scream for me."
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