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Clips from What We Do in the Shadows - Brain Scramblies (S02E02)

"WOMAN: I-I'll come back."
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"I think we need to..."
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"-What, "whack" him? -Yes."
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"No, if we "whack" him,"
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"we'll have to "whack" everybody."
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"The place will be a fucking bloodbath."
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"But he knows our dark secret."
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"All right."
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"Let's get him to a private placewhere we'll both hypnotize him."
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"He'll forget everything."
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"-Good old double hypnosis. -Yes."
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"GUILLERMO: It's tough finding new groups of virgins."
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"Tried joggers. Hard to catch and very sweaty and slippery."
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"Tried incels. Definitely virgins."
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"But very bitter, apparently."
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""Mosquito Collectors of the Tristate Area.""
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"Beep, beep, beep. Nerd alert."
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"I'm kidding."
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"They are nerds, though. They're probably virgins."
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"Sourcing food for my master does have its benefits."
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"It gives me a chance to search for my own food."
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"And save some for later."
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"So, um,"
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"how long have you guys been, uh,collecting mosquitoes for?"
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"Seems like it would take up a lot of your time"
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"and it wouldn't leave much timefor anything else."
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"Dating."
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"What makes you so interested in mosquito collecting, son?"
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"-Well? -Uh, I love insects."
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"Mosquitoes"
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"are an evil, deadly species."
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"Doesn't the fact that they drinkhuman blood sicken you?"
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"-Yeah.-CLAUDE: Yeah? Sure about that?"
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"You guys are the ones with the mosquito club."
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"- Just... -What about"
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"other creatures that drink human blood?"
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"Creatures with sharp teeth and stupid accents?"
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"You..."
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"Y-You mean, um, vampires?"
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"You said that, not me."
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"You did."
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"But yeah."
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"Do evil, bloodsucking vampires sicken you?"
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"Yeah. Yeah."
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"-They make me sick. -You sure about that?"
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"Yeah, I want to throw up right now."
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"Well, brother,you've come to the right place."
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"He's worthy."
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"-Yes. -Yes."
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"-Come on, guys. He's worthy. -TONYA: Oh."
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"Like we practiced."
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"-Activate. -Yes!"
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"CLAUDE: Huh?"
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"Holy..."
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"-You guys are vampire hunters."
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"Hell, yeah, we are."
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"Yeah, that mosquito thing? It's all a cover."
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"Actually, you're the first person"
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"we've gotten to do that cool reveal for."
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"Wow."
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"Moving around like a l-lunatic.Put a collar"
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"on the guy, you know?"
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"Great joke, assholes."
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"-We were just saying what a beautiful house"
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"-you have. -Oh, thanks."
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"Yes. Uh, we were also wondering"
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"if it has an attic or basement or..."
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"-Yeah. -...dark, soundproof room"
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"you could show us?"
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"Oh, you guys want a tour."
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"Yeah, sure. So, these steps"
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"were built by my Uncle Fulvio in 2011."
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"-And then Sean says to me,"
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""Why don't we wait to celebrateour anniversary until after"
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""I get back from the Islanders game?"
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"-If they win." -What?"
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"-LIZA: My Ronnie did"
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"the exact same thing to me, only he did it"
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"on the same day as my sister's funeral."
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"-CHARMAINE: No. -Are you kidding? -Yeah. He said that..."
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"NADJA: I had completely forgotten that when a human"
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"takes a mate, the mate keepsgrowing and changing and aging."
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"-LIZA: He said that. -Wow."
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"Can I ask you all, m-my ladies,"
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"you are all such strong, beautiful,"
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"-vicious, vibrant women. -Yes."
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"How did you all end up married to such boiled potatoes?"
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"You know what, though?Seanie used to be so thoughtful."
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"He was so sweet."
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"When my dog had to get put down,"
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"he brought me flowers for a month straight."
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"WENDY: Oh, yeah, I remember that."
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"CHARMAINE: Yeah, what happened to us?"
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"NADJA: These poor women."
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"They take a lovely, handsome chap"
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"from the street, make him their husband,"
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"and then, in the blinks of an eye,"
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"he becomes a big, lazy sack of shit."
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"So sad."
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"All right. Who needs some more wine?"
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"I think that this bottle's turned,"
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"-but it'll still get the job done. -Yes, please."
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"-You love wine."
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"-WENDY: Oh, yeah. -CHARMAINE: Hey, Joanie."
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"What, are you lost? Do you wantto go back up to bed?"
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"Oh, what kind of movie are you making?"
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"-There's a camera. -CHARMAINE: Oh."
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"You should get back up to bed."
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"-Oh, we love wine."
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"WENDY: Holy shit."
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"-What? -JOAN: It's you."
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"I-It's you. I-I used"
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"to see you sitting up in the tree."
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"No, Ma, this is our next-door neighbor."
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"I'm sorry about her. This is Sean's mom."
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"The neurologist has her on Aricept now,"
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"but when the sun goes down, she gets a little mixed up."
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"You transformed yourself into a cat."
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"-You taught me the dance"
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"-of the ancient soothsayer. -NADJA: Ooh!"
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