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Clips from Friends - The One with Joey's Porsche (S06E06)

"...but could I have my keys?"
Friends
"Sure. Yeah. I'll save your parking spot."
Friends
"I'm not coming back."
Friends
"- Why not? - I live upstate."
Friends
"Yeah, so did I."
Friends
"I don't know why I was so nervous about this..."
Friends
"Yeah, two hours, a lifetime, that's the same."
Friends
"Check it out. Check it out. When the babies wake up..."
Friends
"...they can meet Krog."
Friends
"What are you doing? That thing could put someone's eye out."
Friends
"He can do more than that. He can destroy the universe."
Friends
"No, Chandler, they could swallow one of those little parts."
Friends
"And also, look at his smooth area. That's just gonna mess them up."
Friends
"They're not gonna swallow anything. You're too overprotective."
Friends
"When I was a kid, my mom used to just throw me into a pile of broken glass."
Friends
"- What? - Glass, sand, whatever."
Friends
"Oh, look at little Leslie stretching in her sleep."
Friends
"Oh, it's so cute."
Friends
"I wonder what age it is when you stop putting both legs behind your head."
Friends
"How are you still single?"
Friends
"All right, ahem. I thought about it, and maybe you're right."
Friends
"Maybe Krog is not a safe toy."
Friends
"- Good. What made you change your mind? - I swallowed his sonic blaster gun."
Friends
"How did that happen?"
Friends
"Well, I was trying to prove that I was right, you know?"
Friends
"And it turns out I was wrong..."
Friends
"...and now it's lodged in my throat."
Friends
"Damn it, this whole time we were concentrating on the babies..."
Friends
"Okay, you two are asking the court for an annulment?"
Friends
"Yes, Your Honor. And here are our forms, all filled out."
Friends
"JUDGE: So based on your petition..."
Friends
"...that "Mr. Geller is mentally unstable.""
Friends
"- What? - Uh, yes. Heroin and crack."
Friends
"Crack isn't even an intravenous drug."
Friends
"Well, you would know."
Friends
"Now, it also says here that you:"
Friends
""Lied about your sexual preference before marriage.""
Friends
"- Oh, come on. - Ross, please. I found the magazines."
Friends
"And, finally, that you were "unable to consummate the marriage.""
Friends
"Well, that makes sense since you're gay and addicted to heroin."
Friends
"Okay, you know, I'm sorry, this is insane."
Friends
"...with my ability to consummate anything."
Friends
"Look, I'll consummate this marriage right here, right now."
Friends
"And when we were dating, we consummated like bunnies."
Friends
"Now, if you two were involved in a serious relationship, that really creates a problem."
Friends
"Your Honor, rest assured, that relationship ended two years ago."
Friends
"And can you please strike "consummated like bunnies" from the record."
Friends
"Is there anything in this record that is actually true?"
Friends
"Uh, well, yes. We got married in Vegas."
Friends
"And, uh, the names, I think."
Friends
"Well, based on what I've heard..."
Friends
"...you two certainly don't qualify for an annulment."
Friends
"If you don't wanna be together, you'll have to file for divorce."
Friends
"That's great. You happy now? Look what you did with your funny, funny form."
Friends
"What? Me? What about you and your "consummated like bunnies" nonsense?"
Friends
"And what...? What are you typing that for?"
Friends
"She already said we don't get the annulment."
Friends
"Don't type that. What...?"
Friends
"Stop typing. Hey."
Friends
"Stop typing."
Friends
"Okay, okay, do you see what you're keeping me married to?"
Friends
"But you found the keys to his clothes?"
Friends
"No, I just, uh..."
Friends
"I love the way it feels when everybody thinks I own a Porsche."
Friends
"Of course."
Friends
"Only an idiot would wear this stuff if he didn't have the car."
Friends
"That is true."
Friends
"Yeah, but only a genius would swallow a sonic blaster gun."
Friends
"Oh, I've been there."
Friends
"I am gonna go drive my Porsche."
Friends
"Joey, you know you don't actually have one."
Friends
"Come on. What are you doing? I'm in character. Will you talk to her?"
Friends
"Ah, I think it just moved. It's really poking me."
Friends
"That's it. We're going to the emergency room."
Friends
"What? No, you can't leave me here with them. We're babysitting."
Friends
"The babies are asleep. I'm sure you'll be okay on your own."
Friends
"But you can't leave me with them. We're a team."
Friends
"We're playing a zone. They're gonna triple-team me."
Friends
"He's got something plastic in his throat. We gotta go to the hospital."
Friends
"But, no, because a doctor won't be able to help him. And it's just gonna, you know..."
Friends
"...naturally pass through his system in, like, seven years."
Friends
"- I think that's gum. - I'm pretty sure it's gun."
Friends
"Okay, listen, this really hurts. Let's go."
Friends
"Me taking care of you is no problem, huh?"
Friends
"You guys feel safe, right?"
Friends
"Okay, I'm gonna take that spit bubble as a "Yeah, I do.""
Friends
"Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up, okay?"
Friends
"Because, let's face it, we're at Monica's."
Friends
"Okay. Good."
Friends
"Why are there only two of you?"
Friends
"Where's Leslie?"
Friends
"Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words."
Friends
"Okay, you sit with your brother and sister now..."
Friends
"...who aren't there."
Friends
"- Hey. - How do you feel?"
Friends
"Well, let's just say that Krog will be equipped to destroy the universe again..."
Friends
"I fed them, bathed them and put them to bed."
Friends
"And protected them from a tornado?"
Friends
"Oh, my God."
Friends
"I know. The babies are asleep."
Friends
"Phoebe, what happened here?"
Friends
"I did it. I took care of the babies all by myself."
Friends
"But the mess."
Friends
"Is not as important as the fact that Phoebe took care of the babies all by herself."
Friends
"You're right. You're right, I shouldn't freak out."
Friends
"Oh, honey, thank God you're home. I was getting worried."
Friends
"I picked up the divorce papers."
Friends
"Uh, I've already signed everything. And I put little X's where you need to sign."
Friends
"Oh, little X's. Great. That makes up for everything."
Friends
"You know, you've done a lot of stupid stuff too, okay?"
Friends
"Oh, name one stupid thing that is as stupid as this one."
Friends
"Okay, how about you flew to London to stop my wedding?"
Friends
"How about you told me you loved me after I was married?"
Friends
"Wait a minute, that was different."
Friends
"I did those things because I was in love with you."
Friends
"Yeah. Right."
Friends
"You're right. That's very different."
Friends
"So let's just sign the papers."
Friends
"- What? - Nothing."
Friends
"Okay, can we just sign, please?"
Friends
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