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Clips from NewsRadio - President (S03E03)

"As a personal friend, I have to wonder,"
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"Not at all."
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"Next. Next, uh-- Next question. ALL: Sir! Sir!"
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"Why, yes, I do. A big, beautiful Irish setter."
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"JIMMY: Thanks."
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"No. No, not yet."
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"Why-- LISA: Excuse me, sir."
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"Hi."
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"Um... Okay, uh, Mr. James,"
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"[APPLAUSE] JIMMY: Thank you."
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"Pfft. Right. How do you smoke a brownie?"
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"I was Deep Throat. Does that answer your question?"
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"LISA: Well, sir,"
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"Who are you considering as a running mate?"
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"Good question."
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"Thank you, sir."
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"I am looking for a woman."
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"Hm? I know his secret."
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"Don't you wanna take him down? Yes, but not this way."
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"WNYX. Go ahead."
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"Uh...yeah-- Uh..."
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"Yes."
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"Yes, I am."
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"if you're a young woman over 18, who'd like to help console me"
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"in my darkest hour, I have set up a toll-free number."
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"1-800-J-JAMES."
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"[BAND PLAYING JOE WALSH'S "LIFE'S BEEN GOOD"]"
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"[♪]"
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"Yeah, I just was kind of hoping for the front page, not C-18."
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"Yeah, seven minutes. Seventy thousand dates."
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"What a country, huh?"
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"Yes we did, sir."
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"This is sexy."
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"You know what I think? I think you're all jealous."
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"No woman wants that thing rubbing against her face."
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"you don't know her."
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"Well, Beth, it looks like me and you are gonna swap some spit."
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"do I have to do everything myself?"
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"Museums? Really? Where?"
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"[LAUGHING] Yeah, sure."
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"Hi. Hey."
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"Beth. So good to see you--"
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"Yeah? Could we have a minute?"
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"Oh, my God, I left my muffin in the microwave!"
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"Hey, Joe."
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"Hey. What's up, Dave?"
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"So, uh, what's the story with you and Lisa?"
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"You guys back together again?"
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"of a lot of office gossip, but, yes,"
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"issues that have been..."
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"Back to the old grindstone, huh?"
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"Joe!"
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"What?"
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"[CACKLES]"
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"What, did I miss-- Did I miss something?"
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"Yeah, what is that?"
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"But between me, you and these four walls,"
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"chicks really dig this, David."
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"Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah."
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"Yeah. How was Wisconsin?"
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"Oh, Wisconsin was great. Got to see my folks."
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"If I were a chick, I wouldn't be talking to you."
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"Now, do me a favor."
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"[♪]"
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"LISA: Uh, Mr. James is in your office,"
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"Oh, no. Worse."
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"No, this has nothing to do with the wife search at all."
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"Husband search?"
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"Hey, Mr. James."
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"Oh, we can talk about me later. Tell me about Ohio."
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"back on your wife-candidate list, did you?"
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"Dave, please, I'm trying to be polite here."
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"Ohio, let's hear it."
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"[SIGHING] Okay, well, it-- uh, it was great."
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"I got to see my folks, got to visit a few museums--"
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"No. Oh, yeah."
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"[CLEARS THROAT]"
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"Nope. A-an appointed office?"
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"Mm...nope. Ever done any public service?"
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"[LAUGHING] Public service?"
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"Where'd-- Where'd you grow up? Canada?"
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"I'd be-- I'd better get Lisa in here."
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"Uh, as a reporter, I am warning you that anything embarrassing,"
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"damaging or just plain stupid you might say"
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"will be used against you."
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"Well, what the hell did I ever do to you?"
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"Just, you know, dig away. I have nothing to hide."
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"Oh, come on, sir."
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"You must have some skeletons in your closet."
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"Oh, hell, yeah, I got skeletons running around,"
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"raiding leftovers from the fridge."
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"Yes, I am."
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"Lisa, I am a cipher,"
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"could ever uncover the mysteries I hide."
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"Could you stand up and turn around for a second, sir?"
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"Why?"
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"because as of now, your ass is mine."
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"Woof!"
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"[HUMMING "HAIL TO THE CHIEF"] There's my campaign manager now."
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"I got babies to squeeze and butts to kiss."
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"you can walk up to anyone and say:"
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""I need your car for government reasons--""
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"That's not true."
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"[SIGHS]"
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"How 'bout "Jimmy James for a new tomorrow"?"
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"Jimmy? JIMMY: Yeah?"
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"My plat-- Okay, my platform. My platform is..."
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"What do you think's wrong with this country?"
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"The federal deficit."
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"Alien bodies the government's trying to cover up."
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"That was a rhetorical question."
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"Nothin'."
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"Your confusing thesis has captured my attention."
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"Tell me more."
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"Not perfect. Not perfect, mind you,"
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"but when those scrappy, little pilgrims"
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"first landed about 300... years ago--"
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"Hang on a sec. Matthew, come here."
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"Oh, yeah. This, uh, just is something I, uh--"
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"You know, I grew out on vacation to..."
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