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Clips from NewsRadio - Arcade (S03E03)

"is the best seven months of the year."
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"Oh, well, you know, you-- You could look on the bright side"
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"at "Star Trek Invader.""
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""Stargate Defender.""
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"Here you go, dude, 20 bucks apiece, three for 50."
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"Ah..."
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"[CHUCKLES]"
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"What-- What-- What?"
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"BETH: Oh, God. Come on, isn't she cool?"
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"[VIDEO GAMES BUZZING]"
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"1.8 million."
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"Considerably lower."
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"the announcement of this month's winner"
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"[MOUTHING] Come on, come on, come on, come on..."
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"Oh, God, I can't stand the suspense."
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"Oh, God, Dave, I--"
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"I didn't know. I'm sorry, Dave."
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"Yes! In your face!"
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"You. You. You. You. Yes! Yes."
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"but congratulations nonetheless. Thank you."
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"What about my idea to stop buying all those boxes"
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"No, I do. JOE: Yeah, dude,"
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"but making necklaces and bracelets doesn't count."
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"Yeah, I-- I-I don't see what's so bad"
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"What's so bad about it is that they change"
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"Has anyone actually ever eaten one of those dried-up,"
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"What are you guys talking about?"
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"Uh, sandwich machine by the elevators."
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"Ew."
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"Like a good wine or cheese,"
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"a sandwich needs to be properly aged."
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"for weeks before they were deemed fit for consumption."
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"In the olden days, people died of ptomaine poisoning"
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"All this talk about aged lunchmeat and ghosts"
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"I'll be at the sandwich machine if I'm needed."
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"Okay, so, what do I win? What do I win?"
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"You get to call the vending company"
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"and have the machine removed."
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"Okay, wait, and then I get the big five-foot check, right?"
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"Tiara, Turtle Wax...?"
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"[CRUNCH]"
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"[♪]"
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"if you'd take your quinine, that wouldn't be a problem."
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"Ned, ned, ned, ned."
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"Nib, nib, nib. Nod, nod, nod, nod."
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"It's "chalk"-- "Chalk." Yeah."
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"We tied on that one."
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"These are a little bit harder than they look, huh?"
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"Yeah, I know. Zed, zed, zed."
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""Glove." "Glove.""
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"Good eye, good time. "Chalk," "glove.""
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""How did the mixed doubles team fair in the big match?""
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"Oh, um, well, you see those letters there?"
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"Okay, you just look at the letters, right?"
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"And then one of them goes, "Pick me, I'm first.""
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"Then the others are like, "I'm second,"
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"and my friend, Mr. E here is third.""
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"I'd really rather not reveal the intricacies of my process"
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"at this point in time."
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"Ew! G-- Ew! [GIGGLES]"
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"No, no. Wait, wait, wait."
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"It took me, like, since high school to learn."
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"Yeah, yeah. "Junior," "revamp," uh, s--"
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"Oh, "tardy" and "lariat.""
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"Oh. "A change for the..."
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"[CACKLES]"
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""A change for the batter." [LAUGHING]"
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"I'm getting stupider."
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"Huh?"
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"The human brain starts to deteriorate irreversibly"
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"after the age of 30."
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"Where did you hear that?"
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"I don't remember. See? See?"
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"that my Uncle Larry, he, uh--"
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"Yes, I'm sure it does, Dave."
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"But I couldn't even do the Jumble."
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"The Jumble."
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"No, I know how to play."
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"Oh, well, see, you're not so stupid."
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"You know, I try to listen and concentrate, and I can't."
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"I get confused. Well, wait a minute."
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"I used to listen to it all the time in high school."
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"I see, so you think you're stupider than Lisa"
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"Mm-hm. Probably. Definitely. Yes."
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"You'll just have to retake your SATs to find out for sure."
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"Ha-ha-ha. Hm-hm-hm."
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"Sure. [SIGHS]"
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"There. Hey, I didn't just sign for a stolen jeep, did I, Radar?"
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"that are here to replace the sandwich machine."
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"Okay-- What do you mean, replace?"
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"I thought we were just getting rid of it."
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"Beth?"
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"I'm stupid. I don't remember."
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"Well, we knew this day would come, Algernon."
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"[IN UNISON] Flowers for Algernon."
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"for which Cliff Robertson won an Oscar for best actor."
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"I should have known that faster."
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"No, you shouldn't have known it at all."
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"I have to get back to work, all right?"
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"You gotta stop 'em. They're actually taking it away."
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"DAVE: What monstrosity?"
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"we'll have no further use for your services."
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"This is the manager,"
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"and he's not about to let you"
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"take these poor, delicious souls from their home."
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"I thought we were just getting rid of it?"
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"Just relax. It's another concept from the budget-cutter champion."
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"You're in good hands. You got a garbage can?"
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"I found this behind the machine. [MOANS]"
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"It looks like it's been in there for 20 years."
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"Gently."
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"[ELEVATOR DINGS] Okay, okay."
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"Ta-da."
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"Oh, Come on, Dave, hear me out. No."
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"With a cash cow like this, we will not only save money."
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"We will actually make it, one quarter at a time."
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"Get it out of here quickly."
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"Come on. Get it out."
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"With a pinball machine like this--"
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"It is "Stargate Defender," a classic arcade game from 1981."
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