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Clips from NewsRadio - 4:20 (S04E04)

"No, tonight-- tonight's smoker's gonna be something really special."
NewsRadio
"All right. No-holds-barred, all-out Ultimate Fighting."
NewsRadio
"Two men enter a ring. One man leaves!"
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"No rules, no time limits, no place to hide, baby."
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"In this corner, weighing in 185 pounds, ladies and gentlemen,"
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"No. No, no, no. Oh, yes. Yes. It's all for charity, Dave."
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"No. Joe, Joe, have you ever done this before?"
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"Well, I haven't done it, but I watched it on pay-per-view."
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"Mr. James, you didn't tell me I was gonna be fightin' him. I can't do this."
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"I understand you're scared, but you can't let him see that."
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"He'll use it against you."
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"but I know you consider me your best friend, so I'm just gonna blurt this out."
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"Matthew's having an affair with Lisa? No."
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"Beth is having an affair with Lisa."
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"Walt is having an affair with Lisa."
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"Oh, good, you already know."
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"Bill, Walt is not having an affair with Lisa, all right?"
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"Granted, he has a-- you know, a schoolboy crush on her, but can you blame him?"
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"- Dave, this is your woman we're talking about. - No, no."
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"And I'm fine with that. And Lisa's fine with that."
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"Everybody's fine with that. Why are you the only person who isn't fine with that?"
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"back in the glory days of free love and Fredo's Retreat, but please--"
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"I think you mean "Plato's Retreat.""
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"With the emphasis on the word "member"!"
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"Oh, it was more than fun, Dave."
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"Mm-hmm. A lot more."
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"I remember we used to have what they called "key parties." Key parties, huh?"
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"Yeah, you know, where everyone throws their car keys into a big bowl,"
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"and then picks a set of keys out at random and--"
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"Well, no wonder they never invited me back."
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"about imaginary love triangles that you're not even a part of?"
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"Yes."
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"Um, yeah, again, we understand that it is all for--"
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"Yes. But to put Joe in a boxing ring with-- No, not a boxing ring."
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"But, you know, Matthew's not gonna get killed."
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"He might have some secret techniques that might surprise you."
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"Matthew's been hounding me for months. He knows what he's doing."
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"Besides, if he gets in trouble, he can give up."
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"Mr. James, Matthew doesn't give up. She's right."
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"he just keeps on doing it, and doing it, and doing it, and doing it, and--"
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"Oh, no. [ Groans ]"
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"I can't do this. Then don't do it, Joe."
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"As many times as I thought about squashing the little dude,"
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"those are just fantasies, mere pipe dreams, idle reveries."
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"Sorry about that."
NewsRadio
"Bill, you didn't-- you didn't tape-record a phone conversation with Lisa."
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"Oh, relax, Dave. She didn't know I was taping the call."
NewsRadio
"[ Bill ] So where were we?"
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"You said, "It's Bill." I said, "Hi, Bill." And you said, "Where were we?""
NewsRadio
"Let me just fast-forward. You sure? That's pretty damning stuff."
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"[ Lisa ] If you'll just tell me why you're calling."
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"Uh, Lisa, I believe you were the one who called me."
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"- Were what? - Fully dressed?"
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"Are you challenging my constitutional right to make nude phone calls?"
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"You know, I think you could let me have a little fun with this, Dave. It's only a crush."
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"Oh, I know. I think it's sweet. It is."
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"Has he given you any more presents?"
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"Yes. Uh-huh?"
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"- He gave me a CD this morning. - Oh, a CD. What?"
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"He said he read somewhere that protest music was very important to people of my generation."
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"And that doesn't make you feel... really old? No."
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"[ Light, Rapid Knocking ] Come in, Matthew."
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"Yeah, hi, Dave. [ Clears Throat ]"
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"I was just looking over this piece that you edited for me,"
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"- and I have to say I'm a little bit upset. - Deedle, deedle, deedle."
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"- I'm sorry? - Well, what-what did you wanna talk about?"
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"- I think you and I have to work at least an hour and-- - [ Barking ]"
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"Yes? Get to the point, all right?"
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"No, I-I-- Actually, maybe we should just talk about this later."
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"I think the question is, are you sure you wanna go through with this tonight?"
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"You think it's gonna make me happy to humiliate you in front of everybody?"
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""For the love of Pete, stop, stop, stop. I give up. You win.""
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"All right, dude. Well, whatever happens tonight,"
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"Oh, yeah, that's sweet. But no sex before the fight. All right, little lady?"
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"How can you sit there and let Joe kill Matthew tonight?"
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"Joe is not going to kill Matthew tonight."
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"Matthew's probably gonna get in the ring, have an allergic reaction to cigar smoke..."
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"and have a sneezing fit until the ref calls the fight."
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"Then, I thought, "No, don't be silly. What else could happen, right?""
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"But no, I mean, seriously, then I think-- What?"
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"And then you thought? Um, I was just-- I was saying that I thought it was weird."
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"I mean, I had a lot of thoughts. No, no, no. The blue one."
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"Definitely the blue one."
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"- Feeling okay? - Yeah, I'm fine."
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"I just have a lot of work to do, so if you could-- Yes, I suppose the red one is nice too."
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"Maybe I'll come back later when it's better for you. Okay."
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"What the hell was that? What was what?"
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"If he tries to kick me, then--"
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"You okay? Yeah, I'm fine. Go on."
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"[ Stammers ] Well, we can talk about this later. Okay."
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"Just a little trick."
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"And that works? Seems to."
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"because Joe is gonna pulverize you."
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"Oh, that remains to be seen, doesn't it?"
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"It's all about honing in on your opponent's weakness, and then striking."
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"Where are you going? Oh, I'm listening. I'm listening. Go."
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"Ohh! Matthew, this is Ultimate Fighting. Ultimate Fighting!"
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"Two men enter. One man leaves!"
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"Or in this case, one man and one half-man, half-whatever-it-is-you-are,"
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"Are you listening to me?"
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"What are you doing?"
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"Incredible."
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"Yeah, good. You're probably wondering why I'm... naked."
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"[ Meows ]"
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"You know what? Maybe we'll-we'll talk about it another time."
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"Yeah. I wanted to warn you. I think Walt's gearing up to ask you out on a date."
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"Oh."
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"- Oh, that's different. - Why?"
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"And he was convinced I was gay. Well, yeah."
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"You know, then he brought his mother into work and introduced me as his boss/husband."
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"Oh, Lord, yes."
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"Right. Dave, you are not gonna believe what happened."
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"What? I asked Lisa out on a date, and she said yes."
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"Well, that's great. Good for you, Walt."
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"Good for you. Where are you taking her?"
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"[ Beth ] Pardon? I mean, I love Beth on account of she's so wonderful."
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"Well, because we work together, we're friends, and it would be inappropriate."
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"That wasn't appropriate? That was appropriate?"
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"You better have some audiotape to back that up, or I'm gonna have to ask you to leave!"
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"[ Lisa ] Going downstairs to a pay phone on the street is more intimate?"
NewsRadio
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