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Clips from NewsRadio - 4:20 (S04E04)

[ Bill ] Okay, I understand we have to speak in code.

"[ Bill ] Okay, I understand we have to speak in code."

NewsRadio

So how's this? [ Clicking ]

"So how's this? [ Clicking ]"

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If you, Lisa Miller, are having an affair with Walt, say "Good-bye, Bill."

"If you, Lisa Miller, are having an affair with Walt, say "Good-bye, Bill.""

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[ Sped-up Gibberish ]

"[ Sped-up Gibberish ]"

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[ Lisa ] Bye, Bill. [ Clicks Off ]

"[ Lisa ] Bye, Bill. [ Clicks Off ]"

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Give me that tape.

"Give me that tape."

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My point is, is that you say this is not a date, and yet you asked me to come with you.

"My point is, is that you say this is not a date, and yet you asked me to come with you."

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No, I didn't ask you to come here with me.

"No, I didn't ask you to come here with me."

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Big diff. It doesn't matter how I heard it.

"Big diff. It doesn't matter how I heard it."

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You cannot take me on a date and claim it's not a date. I'm not that kind of girl.

"You cannot take me on a date and claim it's not a date. I'm not that kind of girl."

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All right. It's a date. Oh, okay. Excellent!

"All right. It's a date. Oh, okay. Excellent!"

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Like what? Money?

"Like what? Money?"

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You know, just because we're on a date...

"You know, just because we're on a date..."

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All right, all right, all right.

"All right, all right, all right."

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Oh, that is so sweet. Aww.

"Oh, that is so sweet. Aww."

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Nah, that's probably 'cause I'm always wearing these damn glasses.

"Nah, that's probably 'cause I'm always wearing these damn glasses."

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I'm right here, ready as I'll ever be.

"I'm right here, ready as I'll ever be."

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gonna be good before the big fight? I'm trying to bulk up.

"gonna be good before the big fight? I'm trying to bulk up."

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Yeah, so many maybes. That's, uh-- That's what makes it exciting, Joe.

"Yeah, so many maybes. That's, uh-- That's what makes it exciting, Joe."

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I got $1,000 that says-- You don't have $1,000.

"I got $1,000 that says-- You don't have $1,000."

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A hundred dollars says-- You don't have $100.

"A hundred dollars says-- You don't have $100."

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Don't cry, Bill. we come now to our main event.

"Don't cry, Bill. we come now to our main event."

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Fighting Championship! The problem is, I have no idea what you're talking about.

"Fighting Championship! The problem is, I have no idea what you're talking about."

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And the fight is about to start. Hello?

"And the fight is about to start. Hello?"

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No eye-poking.

"No eye-poking."

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Fight's not over till one man taps out, okay? Yeah.

"Fight's not over till one man taps out, okay? Yeah."

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Well, looks like somebody fell into my little trap.

"Well, looks like somebody fell into my little trap."

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No! No! No! No! No tickling!

"No! No! No! No! No tickling!"

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Tickle, tickle, tickle! Who's got the tickles? I do!

"Tickle, tickle, tickle! Who's got the tickles? I do!"

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Hi. Uh, I was just calling to make sure...

"Hi. Uh, I was just calling to make sure..."

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you didn't get the wrong idea about me leaving with Walt.

"you didn't get the wrong idea about me leaving with Walt."

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Oh, well, don't worry about that.

"Oh, well, don't worry about that."

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Okay. I just didn't want you to think anything happened.

"Okay. I just didn't want you to think anything happened."

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Uh, well, he kissed me good night. Oh.

"Uh, well, he kissed me good night. Oh."

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I mean, you know, Beth insisted on giving me a kiss good night.

"I mean, you know, Beth insisted on giving me a kiss good night."

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and I said, "Walt, maybe we should just, you know, slow things down."

"and I said, "Walt, maybe we should just, you know, slow things down.""

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Really? Well-- Does that surprise you?

"Really? Well-- Does that surprise you?"

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Well, yeah, it does. It does a little, to be honest with you.

"Well, yeah, it does. It does a little, to be honest with you."

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I mean, if-if I was you, I might have just said, "What the hell?"

"I mean, if-if I was you, I might have just said, "What the hell?""

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[ Beeps ] Yeah. Hello?

"[ Beeps ] Yeah. Hello?"

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Oh, really? Yes, really.

"Oh, really? Yes, really."

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[ Man ] Hello? [ Bill ] Lisa, it's me.

"[ Man ] Hello? [ Bill ] Lisa, it's me."

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[ Man ] I'm sorry. There's no Lisa here.

"[ Man ] I'm sorry. There's no Lisa here."

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I'm on top of it. Thanks. Good night.

"I'm on top of it. Thanks. Good night."

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Good night.

"Good night."

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Bill, I thought you said you were just gonna use the bathroom and then go home.

"Bill, I thought you said you were just gonna use the bathroom and then go home."

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No dice. You shouldn't be left alone tonight.

"No dice. You shouldn't be left alone tonight."

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Yeah. What is a smoker anyway?

"Yeah. What is a smoker anyway?"

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please welcome rattlin', battlin' Joe "the Gorilla" Garrelli!

"please welcome rattlin', battlin' Joe "the Gorilla" Garrelli!"

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please welcome the dancer, the prancer, the lady romancer, Matthew "the Rock" Brock!

"please welcome the dancer, the prancer, the lady romancer, Matthew "the Rock" Brock!"

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Charity. Yeah. charity.

"Charity. Yeah. charity."

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Haven't you ever seen Ultimate Fighting? Yeah, I have.

"Haven't you ever seen Ultimate Fighting? Yeah, I have."

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What techniques? They're secret.

"What techniques? They're secret."

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He does not quit. No.

"He does not quit. No."

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She had no idea! Just listen.

"She had no idea! Just listen."

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[ Bill ] Is it that you don't trust me?

"[ Bill ] Is it that you don't trust me?"

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Yes. [ Lisa ] Good-bye.

"Yes. [ Lisa ] Good-bye."

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You were, weren't you?

"You were, weren't you?"

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Yeah.

"Yeah."

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No, I'll just be a minute.

"No, I'll just be a minute."

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Oh, man, I thought Matthew was the only one in this office who had imaginary friends.

"Oh, man, I thought Matthew was the only one in this office who had imaginary friends."

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Because I said so, that's why.

"Because I said so, that's why."

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Well, anyway, if he kicks me, then I'll--

"Well, anyway, if he kicks me, then I'll--"

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I mean, for that matter, you might say that I was going with Beth.

"I mean, for that matter, you might say that I was going with Beth."

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Well, what about when you went out with Lisa?

"Well, what about when you went out with Lisa?"

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Hey, I'm sorry. I guess I got a little ahead of myself.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I guess I got a little ahead of myself."

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You're the one who set the precedent, so I--

"You're the one who set the precedent, so I--"

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who'd go down to the loading dock later and rummage through the trash to retrieve that tape.

"who'd go down to the loading dock later and rummage through the trash to retrieve that tape."

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does not mean you have the right to speak to me like that.

"does not mean you have the right to speak to me like that."

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I don't wanna hurt him. Maybe, uh-- Maybe Matthew will surprise you, Joe.

"I don't wanna hurt him. Maybe, uh-- Maybe Matthew will surprise you, Joe."

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[ Man ] Ladies and gentlemen--

"[ Man ] Ladies and gentlemen--"

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Just tap out.

"Just tap out."

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Anything goes! Anything goes! Sorry.

"Anything goes! Anything goes! Sorry."

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Say it! Who's got the tickles? I've got the tickles!

"Say it! Who's got the tickles? I've got the tickles!"

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Oh, well-- Did anything happen?

"Oh, well-- Did anything happen?"

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Oh, cigars. Yeah, cigars.

"Oh, cigars. Yeah, cigars."

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But tell me, are you coming to grips with it?

"But tell me, are you coming to grips with it?"

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It's okay. He's gone now. You can put it down. Thank you.

"It's okay. He's gone now. You can put it down. Thank you."

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You overheard me saying, hypothetically, that it was like I was coming with you.

"You overheard me saying, hypothetically, that it was like I was coming with you."

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Beyond that, anything goes.

"Beyond that, anything goes."

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Hey, Dave. Hey.

"Hey, Dave. Hey."

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Okay. Bye. Okay. Okay, good night, Lisa.

"Okay. Bye. Okay. Okay, good night, Lisa."

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[ Beth ] Thank you. All right.

"[ Beth ] Thank you. All right."

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I want you to listen to a phone call I had with Lisa last night.

"I want you to listen to a phone call I had with Lisa last night."

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Now, you sure that eating three hot-fudge sundaes...

"Now, you sure that eating three hot-fudge sundaes..."

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[ TV: Chattering ] [ Phone Rings ]

"[ TV: Chattering ] [ Phone Rings ]"

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What? What do you mean, what did I bring you?

"What? What do you mean, what did I bring you?"

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That's where you turn the lights down, crank up a little bit of Dark Side of the Moon.

"That's where you turn the lights down, crank up a little bit of Dark Side of the Moon."

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Is there any way we can get these sleeves hemmed? 'Cause I'm, like, swimming in this.

"Is there any way we can get these sleeves hemmed? 'Cause I'm, like, swimming in this."

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You know, I kind of think the point of those parties was to take somebody else's wife home.

"You know, I kind of think the point of those parties was to take somebody else's wife home."

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Does that work?

"Does that work?"

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that sometimes the only way to get rid of Matthew is to act completely insane.

"that sometimes the only way to get rid of Matthew is to act completely insane."

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I never paid for it, but-- Yeah!

"I never paid for it, but-- Yeah!"

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Matthew, you sure you wanna go through with this tonight?

"Matthew, you sure you wanna go through with this tonight?"

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Yes, Matthew? You're going down, bitch.

"Yes, Matthew? You're going down, bitch."

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Good, because here it comes.

"Good, because here it comes."

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[ Bill ] I just prefer the telephone. It's more intimate.

"[ Bill ] I just prefer the telephone. It's more intimate."

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[ Chattering ]

"[ Chattering ]"

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An authentic subway token.

"An authentic subway token."

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Yeah.

"Yeah."

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Mr. James, please don't make me do this.

"Mr. James, please don't make me do this."

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[ Kissing Noises ]

"[ Kissing Noises ]"

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Bill, he was just trying to make sure that Lisa got home okay, all right?

"Bill, he was just trying to make sure that Lisa got home okay, all right?"

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I think you're getting carried away with this crush thing.

"I think you're getting carried away with this crush thing."

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Hey, Walt, what you doing?

"Hey, Walt, what you doing?"

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Ten bucks says I can make you tap out within 45 seconds.

"Ten bucks says I can make you tap out within 45 seconds."

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This is gonna be, uh, amateur flyweight boxing.

"This is gonna be, uh, amateur flyweight boxing."

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- Who's gonna be fighting? - I thought you'd never ask.

"- Who's gonna be fighting? - I thought you'd never ask."

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Thank for the robe, Mr. James. No problem.

"Thank for the robe, Mr. James. No problem."

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Joe's having an affair with Lisa? No.

"Joe's having an affair with Lisa? No."

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I-I-It's no way to live your life!

"I-I-It's no way to live your life!"

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Really. And, Bill, you just make it sound like such fun.

"Really. And, Bill, you just make it sound like such fun."

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It's an Octagon of horror.

"It's an Octagon of horror."

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You don't know what they are.

"You don't know what they are."

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Bill, you are fully dressed right now, aren't you?

"Bill, you are fully dressed right now, aren't you?"

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You think it's gonna make me happy to hear you scream, "Stop it! Oh, my God! Stop."

"You think it's gonna make me happy to hear you scream, "Stop it! Oh, my God! Stop.""

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Right there.

"Right there."

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What are you-- What are you doing?

"What are you-- What are you doing?"

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[ Sighs ] Matthew, you can't go through with this,

"[ Sighs ] Matthew, you can't go through with this,"

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I'm surprised no one ever tried that on me.

"I'm surprised no one ever tried that on me."

NewsRadio

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