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Clips from The Simpsons - Changing of the Guardian (S24E24)

"Mid-Atlantic."
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"That's where they filmed The Wire!"
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"Step on it!"
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"How about asking that Japanese guy"
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"who set the world record for eating hot dogs?"
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"Maybe we should just give up for now,"
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"They look pretty cozy."
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"That's Moe and a bag of garbage."
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"Why would you do that to me"
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"after I thought about feeding you?"
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"Whoa, look at that guy."
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"Wow, a man's stomach can be flat?"
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"It's one of the, like, awesome side effects"
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"of being a pro surfer."
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"Whoa, way to shralp the crispies, babe."
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"My wife, Portia."
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"Environmental lawyer."
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"who withhold royalties from elderly blues musicians."
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"Um, why don't we discuss it over dinner?"
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"from your life that you never knew you needed."
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"Yeah, I earned a couple million on the tour last year."
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"Your house is perfect."
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"No sharp corners,"
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"no unsafe balconies, a cool grandpa."
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"Ooh, thanks, Dad."
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"What's that stone around your neck?"
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"It's a promise stone."
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"Wow."
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"I assumed the Jackson Five were the only perfect family,"
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"but now I see there's another."
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"I smell a Rhodes."
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"because Cecil Rhodes was such a racist."
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"Uh, say, listen, Portia."
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"How would you and Mav feel about..."
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"Uh, with you guys?"
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"Uh, seems like my husband"
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"I-I meant pushing kids on swings."
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"Give me a minute to get some images out of my mind."
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"I just want to know if you'd like to be their guardians."
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"Wow, that's quite an offer."
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"This is so fast."
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"It's so hard to get to know a child after just one day. I..."
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"who eats please and farts thank-yous, ma'am."
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"I'm exactly the kind of kid he's pretending to be."
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"Hmm."
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"you can't spend your whole life"
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"deciding if you want to drop in or not."
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"It just might be the most righteous tube we ever shot."
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"Okay, we'll give some serious thought to taking them."
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"Maybe this will help you make up your mind."
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"You never know when you might want to mail something."
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"Homie,"
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"it's been a wonderful day,"
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"You don't look a Trojan horse in the mouth."
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"But we know so little about them."
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"Hey, where's Bart?"
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"and I'll just keep doing it until the subject..."
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"to the mast for five more arrrs."
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"Is that arrrs or hours? Both."
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"I still have my uses."
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"Homer, Marge,"
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"Too late! You already signed!"
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"Suckers!"
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"Oh, wait, you've got to initial this."
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"we just wanted to know if we could borrow the kids"
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"for a weekend at our ski house."
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"We thought they could pick out their bedrooms."
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"I don't know."
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"Hey, if they can watch them for the rest of their lives,"
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"they can certainly do it for a weekend."
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"As long as we don't make it a habit."
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"Marge, no indulgence of mine ever becomes a habit."
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"Do you have to do that in front of people?"
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"The one thing people with kids desperately need is no kids."
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"Well, at least we have time"
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"They want to steal our kids."
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"No one steals my kids,"
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"except me, from that theme park jail"
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"She's gonna raise three kids"
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"without wrecking that perfect figure."
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"Oh, yeah, man."
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"Don't worry, Marge."
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"We'll get them."
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"Then they've won forever."
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"Homie, I just had a horrible thought."
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"Women and their horrible thoughts."
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"Marge, let me set your mind straight about something."
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"That spectacular young couple"
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"but those kids are ours,"
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"because we made them"
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"And now we're gonna take them back"
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"because we love them,"
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"especially now that we've had a little time apart from them."
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"I've got a bone to pick with you."
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"Homer, Marge, I understand your anger,"
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"but your kids are more awesome"
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"than the breaks at Waimea."
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"Those better be good breaks."
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"and it just seemed like you guys didn't really want them."
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"Sure, you wanted the fun parts, but do you want to go"
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"We totally have."
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"Like clockwork."
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"It happens more than you know, Marge."
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"I'm a lawyer; he's a surfer."
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"Well, I'm afraid"
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"that we don't want to be with anyone but Mom"
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"and whoever she chooses to be with."
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"Portia, you're the woman I dream of becoming,"
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"Fine,"
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"You guys lock up."
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"We're going to Bali."
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"Again."
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"Whoo-hoo."
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"we're not in such a hurry to get you guardians."
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"Instead of concentrating on dying,"
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"we're going to concentrate on living."
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"If you call this living."
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"Why, you little..."
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"I do call this living."
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"There is nothing like your biological family."
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