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Clips from The Simpsons - Changing of the Guardian (S24E24)

"No! Whenever we play that, my elbow touches Dad's junk."
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"You live like this?"
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"Ooh, dear Lord,"
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"But don't let Flanders be the scarecrow."
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"We made it, boy."
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"This counts as a walk!"
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"The tornado took old what's-his-name."
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"No, Homie, it's too dangerous."
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"Hey, Homer, we were just doing a little storm chasing."
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"Lenny, take us with you to find our dog."
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"and taped an antenna to the top?"
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"Not just any tape."
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"But I'm coming with you"
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"Don't worry, Marge, we bought a ton of safety gear"
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"coming from such an attractive woman as you."
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"Hey!"
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"Surely, you didn't misunderstand"
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"but I understand something much more predictable:"
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"What women really want is a guy who's confident enough"
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"to go completely downhill after marriage"
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"and know she'll still love him."
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"a man who can hold a note the longest."
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"One, two, three, go."
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"Homer, you do not have to compete"
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"I would never do that."
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"'Nado!"
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"It's like God's vacuum cleaner."
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"We're cutting it kind of close."
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"What is it I'm paying you for every Sunday?"
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"Can... always use..."
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"a good babysitter."
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"my best friend in the world."
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"I can barely remember what he looks like."
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"He was a black guy,"
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"but his voice sounded like a white guy."
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"Hey, excuse me for wanting to fit in."
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"And here comes Santa Little Helper."
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"Homie, we made it."
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"Oh, my God."
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"Ha ha!"
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"stick it to the little guy."
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"Are you pushing?"
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"I don't know if we're going to be able to get out."
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"What are you writing?"
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"Maybe the last words I'll ever write."
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"Lenny, you calling for help?"
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"Kent Brockman here at death's revolving door."
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"Police have arrived on the scene"
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"Bulletproof, as I somewhat suspected."
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"But don't you worry,"
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"brought in from Shelbyville."
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"What is this, a bird?"
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"It's a bird known as a crane."
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"Hey! Hello!"
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"As for you, your only hope"
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"is this glass cutting guy from the hardware store."
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"or a kind of a rosette shape?"
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"Uh, want to go halfsies on a pizza?"
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"FYI, that means you get one slice."
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"the two corpses when we're done."
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"It was so scary thinking something"
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"might happen to you guys."
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"Were you worried about me, boy?"
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"Oh, yeah, I'm a wreck."
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"Now, I know you kids are scared by what happened,"
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"Just go into your dark rooms and shut your eyes."
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"Homie, if we did both die,"
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"Connecticut?"
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"It's hard to imagine"
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"anyone else bringing up our kids,"
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"my dad."
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"Oh, you'd let me have another chance"
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"after the way I screwed things up with you?"
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"We'll find somebody else."
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"soaked in worthless juice."
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"I got it, Dad."
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"Why I married you I'll never know."
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"Oh, yeah?"
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"The tornado was more of a father to me than you."
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"Okay, how about my brother? He's rich."
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"I'm poor again."
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"Oh, how very kind of you."
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"to these gravelly-voiced super hags."
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"Homer, my sister's adopted Ling,"
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"and she's doing great."
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"Ling, music time."
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"♪"
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"Ling, floor routine."
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"That's some impressive flute-nastics."
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"Didn't you want to ask us something?"
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"Good-bye forever."
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"Luanne and I have gone through some rough patches,"
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"You know what else would be an honor?"
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"Having a husband who asks my opinion"
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"Well, I'll tell you what I saw: not you!"
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"You told me you didn't even know her name."
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"Well, that's her name, okay?"
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"We have 17 kids, and you want us"
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"Anything new that wanders into this house"
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"winds up in the stew pot."
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"Hey, I'm so sorry, but we just adopted a baby."
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"Give me back my pants."
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"Someone's cranky."
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"Uh-oh."
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"that we're looking for guardians."
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"Go! Go!"
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"Where are we going?"
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"With name tags on them."
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"Kids, there's nothing to worry about."
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"But we're looking at replacements"
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"to die together as a family."
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"Oh, I see. You guys are trying to find"
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"a couple of saps to take us"
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"when Dad has a coronary in the dead of night,"
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"This is not that,"
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"is exactly why no one wants you."
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"Ooh."
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"Aah! What the hell are you doing?"
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"Keith, relax."
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"Hmm, I think I hear a slight accent."
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