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Clips from 30 Rock - My Whole Life Is Thunder (S07E07)

"It's my wedding ring. I got married yesterday."
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"I guess I ate all that asparagus for nothing."
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"Reverend Gimp, we'll just have to reschedule."
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"And technically, I am an a-lister now"
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"But I bailed before I got sucked in too deep,"
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"Okay, but still, I won an award!"
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"Okay, big Liz Lemon day, so hold on tight."
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"We can still have our classic girl Friday banter."
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""Now you listen here, Jack."
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"This story's not gonna write itself, see?""
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"No, the problem is my mother's in town for Christmas."
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"But that's only 14 in demon years, Lemon."
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"But this year I have a plan."
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"I'm not going to give her anything to disapprove of,"
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"That's her, fishing."
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"Jack Donaghy's office."
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"First miss Lemon fired my girlfriend,"
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"On TV shows,"
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"Mm."
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"Mickey Rourke catapulted you into the Hollywood sign."
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"You know, in the past, they've given it to Diane Sawyer"
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"Did you know it's been 15 years since we first met?"
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"Salutations, Jenna Maroney."
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"- Great. - ♪ Secret plan"
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"and I've got a hotel room and a latex allergy,"
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"Your powers remain strong, old one,"
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"If this turns out to be a stroke,"
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"before I meet the grim reaper,"
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"For instance, in junior high, when you faked a heart attack"
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"to keep me from going camping."
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"Wonderful sound effects, mother."
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"Mother? Mother?"
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"Yes, Kenneth, I've been thinking about what you said"
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"Which booking is this?"
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"to town on each other while I make a pie?"
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"Thank you."
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"This is exciting."
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"What the what?"
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"Wow. My best friend."
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"Best friend troubles, talking to yourself, I've been there."
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"I realized my feelings are valid,"
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"We're talking about Oprah, right?"
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"These are the clothes that I want to be buried in."
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"and I'll be dead like that."
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"- and my arm went numb. - And you called me?"
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"Mother, call an ambulance."
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"But he wasn't even in the war."
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"for nature's most dignified creature."
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"The horse is one of only three appropriate subjects"
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"wearing a hat."
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"Are you the same guy as before?"
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"Or does that sun-bleached turd have a twin brother?"
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"And the perfect time to enroll is now."
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"Why are you doing this to me, Jacob?"
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"who was selling us our dream house."
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"Hang on. This is being weird."
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"You ruined my wedding. It's payback time."
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"turning bags of sour patch kids inside out"
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"to lick them clean. - I got my money's worth."
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"And without me you'd still be doing"
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"I don't know what that was."
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"Visit my website for extras and ringtones."
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"'Cause guess what this lighting board nerd did?"
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"So what can I do for a fellow lightsmith?"
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"I can't get up there."
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"I'll look... Horrible."
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"Did I ruin your wedding again?"
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"- Happy? - Yes."
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"Since when did you ever care about happiness?"
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"Don't talk to me like that, Jack."
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"is when you're criticizing something,"
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"I am not going to be around forever."
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"- Oh, here it comes. - One of these days,"
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"When this little performance is over,"
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"And Paul. He's been in that steamer trunk for hours."
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"I got married, and you don't care."
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"Don't look at me."
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"Colleen had a fart attack?"
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"Oh, Jack, I am so sorry."
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"Before she died, Colleen told me"
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"- Jack. - No. It's perfect."
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"One last twist of the knife."
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"Well, thank you for coming, Lemon, but I better get going."
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"And, of course, I get to eulogize Colleen at the service."
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"as she looks up at me from her throne..."
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"Jenna..."
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"Jenna. I mean, Liz."
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"but I am happy for you."
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"But it made me realize"
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"that this whole surprise wedding thing is stupid."
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"Where else but real life"
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"that he would spend two days"
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"Thank you, Mr. Jordan."
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"Friends, last night when I sat down"
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"to write a speech worthy of my mother's 87 years,"
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"My lifelong quest to please that woman"
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"Dublin, 1852,"
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"of the icy Irish Sea."
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"Ladies and gentlemen,"
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"it could never erase our memory of her."
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"when you ask where your glasses are"
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"I do do that."
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"until I met you."
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"♪ Liz Lemon got married and made up this song ♪"
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"You got married? To what?"
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"To Criss, Frank."
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"Uh-huh, you are now looking at Ms. Elizabeth Lemon."
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"- I'm keeping my name. - What? The h-e-double vibrator"
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"- How could you do this to me? - Flurb?"
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"You just ruined my surprise wedding."
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"Where can I get the "C" train?"
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"Wow. Well, if you don't want this kind of thing happening,"
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"maybe don't have a surprise wedding."
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"Alisters always have surprise weddings now, Liz."
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"Anne Hatha-nobody."
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"because I was on a list to date Tom Cruise."
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"praise Xenu."
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"Well, I'm glad you're happy for me."
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"In case you didn't hear it before,"
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"Yeah, thank you for inviting me."
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