Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from 30 Rock - The Baby Show (S01E01)

"like having a career and working"
30 Rock
"and having a job... and working."
30 Rock
"You can have a career at any time."
30 Rock
"If you wait too long, you could be, like, 50 at your kid's graduation."
30 Rock
"Oh, I'm sorry. Are you 50 now?"
30 Rock
"Paul Newman or Robert Redford?"
30 Rock
"I've told you a thousand times. Newman."
30 Rock
"Because I enjoy his salad dressings and lemonade."
30 Rock
"Me too."
30 Rock
"OK. Uh, Brad Pitt or George Clooney?"
30 Rock
"- Do you think I'd be a good mother? - What?"
30 Rock
"I've started wondering if I'm ever gonna have a baby."
30 Rock
"I'm so many steps away from being able to do it,"
30 Rock
"and I panic that maybe I waited too long."
30 Rock
"I mean, what if my junk goes bad? What if Cerie is right?"
30 Rock
"Wow. Red wine is not your drink."
30 Rock
"I'm sorry. I'm in my right mind. I just... It comes in waves, you know?"
30 Rock
"And I love my job, and I love my friends."
30 Rock
"And if I am meant to crank out a kid, then I have plenty of time."
30 Rock
"Not really."
30 Rock
"Jenna!"
30 Rock
"I'm just saying, if this is something you really want, let's go for it."
30 Rock
"I'll help you. Oh, please, let me help you for once."
30 Rock
"We'll get you a guy, like that not dancer Madonna used to have Lourdes."
30 Rock
"Forget I said anything."
30 Rock
"Because you agreed to this. I did not make you sign anything."
30 Rock
"- I will not be intimidated by you. - Good morning, Mr Donaghy."
30 Rock
"- Goto hell. - No, thank you."
30 Rock
"Kenneth, I'm sorry. How do you do it, Kenneth?"
30 Rock
"How do you sit here every day, taking crap from people,"
30 Rock
"or being chained to a wall in someone's sex dungeon."
30 Rock
"Isn't that a kick in the soft stuff, Kenneth?"
30 Rock
"You get strength from your mother, while mine is sucking the life out of me."
30 Rock
"complaining about where she's living, threatening to move in with me."
30 Rock
"- Ah, how wonderful. - No, no, no. That's not wonderful."
30 Rock
"But to that woman, I'm always gonna be the punk kid"
30 Rock
"who cried when Pop was run over by a mail truck."
30 Rock
"Oh, my. A mailman killed your dad?"
30 Rock
"No, Pop was my dog. My dad left when I was 2,"
30 Rock
"so I grew up calling my collie Pop."
30 Rock
"I was 12."
30 Rock
"Well, my mother has her dark times, too."
30 Rock
"But that's when I tell her, "Mama, you carried me for nine months."
30 Rock
"Let me carry you now.""
30 Rock
"I told those people, "Do not give her a phone.""
30 Rock
"It's always her."
30 Rock
"This is Dr. Leo Spaceman."
30 Rock
"Sorry. I got this number under "fertility" in the Writers Guild health manual."
30 Rock
"I'm also listed under "meth addiction" and "child psychiatry.""
30 Rock
"So what can I help you with?"
30 Rock
"Uh, something happened to me while scuba diving."
30 Rock
"Hey. So, Jenna told us you're looking for a baby daddy."
30 Rock
"- She what? - Yeah. So?"
30 Rock
"So..."
30 Rock
"Before you say no, I just want to say,"
30 Rock
"our child would have a leg up getting into Harvard."
30 Rock
"Really? Did you go to Harvard? 'Cause you haven't mentioned it in three hours."
30 Rock
"Our kid would have strong, flat feet."
30 Rock
"- But I do like to get yelled at during sex. - You're disgusting."
30 Rock
"Yeah. That's a good start."
30 Rock
"Get out of here. Jenna had no business telling you guys that."
30 Rock
"Jenna told the writers that I am looking for a guy to get me pregnant."
30 Rock
"Why would she go to them? Who do you know better than me?"
30 Rock
"- Come on. Didn't you have a vasectomy? - No, I just told my wife I did."
30 Rock
"- And she doesn't get pregnant how? - I fake it."
30 Rock
"Excuse me, Ms Lemon."
30 Rock
"I'm not usually this formal nor this bold,"
30 Rock
"but I figure time is on neither one of our sides."
30 Rock
"- Could you excuse us for a second? - I'd kind of like him to stay."
30 Rock
"I'd like to carry your child, if I might."
30 Rock
"It's not much, but it is self-sufficient."
30 Rock
"Sometimes I watch you watching it."
30 Rock
"Guys, check this out. Oprah and Stedman are the same person."
30 Rock
"Hey, you got to stop doing that impression. Tracy hates it."
30 Rock
"These guys like it. The Mars probe didn't break."
30 Rock
"- I'm going to Jack Donaghy. - No. No, Tra. Please don't do that."
30 Rock
"Too late. This is untoward."
30 Rock
"You better fix this, nerd."
30 Rock
"and then he's gonna fold us up in a pizza and eat us."
30 Rock
"Hey, Liz, I heard you're looking for a hook-up."
30 Rock
"Oh, you know what?"
30 Rock
"I don't want to have sex with any of you."
30 Rock
"and I am not looking for sperm donors."
30 Rock
"But do you still want a sound hook-up so you can listen to rehearsal?"
30 Rock
"How are you, Bobby? Good?"
30 Rock
"Tracy, it's Jack Donaghy. I hear we have a problem with Josh Girard."
30 Rock
"Damn right! Keeps impersonating me, making me into a caricature."
30 Rock
"I would take care of this if I could, but it's tricky."
30 Rock
"Those dudes are crazy."
30 Rock
"Forget it. I don't need any of that noise."
30 Rock
"It happies me to hear you say that."
30 Rock
"For being so understanding, I'm sending you our new top-secret invisible motorcycle."
30 Rock
"- For reals? - For realsies."
30 Rock
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to see a doctor."
30 Rock
"- Lemon, we have a problem. - I have the Tracy-Josh thing under control."
30 Rock
"- What are you talking about? - Nothing. What are you talking about?"
30 Rock
"You. You yelling at the crew, you trawling for seed."
30 Rock
"Oh, it's a big misunderstanding."
30 Rock
"I should have known this was going to be a problem when I decided to mentor a woman."
30 Rock
"No, I said that my body is trying to make me think I want to have a baby."
30 Rock
"But my body is not the boss of me. My brain is."
30 Rock
"Don't smother your child with affection to compensate for not having a man."
30 Rock
"- Even babies know that's creepy. - Of course."
30 Rock
"Don't put little notes in their lunch bag that say, "Mommy's watching you.""
30 Rock
"- People find those things. - I bet you behaved yourself, though."
30 Rock
"If your child is a terrific hockey player and a gifted flautist,"
30 Rock
"don't make them play the national anthem on the flute"
30 Rock
"- in front of their teammates. - Your mother did that?"
30 Rock
"Now she wants to move in with me. I can't have that, Lemon."
30 Rock
"Then be an adult and call her and say you love her very much"
30 Rock
"but that living together is not going to work for you."
30 Rock
"Oh, no. You don't know my mother."
30 Rock
"This is a woman that actually had a heart attack"
30 Rock
"to prevent me from going on my honeymoon."
30 Rock
"Maybe her heart broke 'cause she spent 20 years raising you"
30 Rock
"and you're a total ingrate."
30 Rock
"That's exactly what she said. ls this what you want, Lemon?"
30 Rock
"To breathe life into another human being"
30 Rock
"- Speak of the devil. - Take a breath. Be nice."
30 Rock
"Hello, Mother. So nice to hear your voice."
30 Rock
Show more clips