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Clips from 30 Rock - The Baby Show (S01E01)

"I know that things have been difficult for you lately, and I was thinking..."
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"You cut Pop's balls off and left him in the street to die!"
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"Liz, check out my wedding dress."
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"Absolutely not, young lady."
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"- Get Donaghy on the phone. - I have Tracy Jordan for Mr Donaghy."
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"No, no, no."
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"What I'm saying is, leave Jack alone."
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"Too late, Liz Lemon. He called me five minutes ago."
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"Five minutes ago, I was with him."
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"How did he sound? What did he say?"
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"Nothing unusual... Russian mobs, invisible motorcycles, sex pooping."
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"Are you insane? What'll you do when Tracy asks Jack for his invisible motorcycle?"
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"Yeah, dummy. Here's what you're gonna do."
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"It's not your mother!"
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"If, in the future if I mention anything crazy..."
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"like an invisible motorcycle..."
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"- Hang up. - Hang up."
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"- What? - What?"
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"I think that went well."
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"Now you got to call Tracy as Jack."
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"Or I could call him as Christopher Walken."
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"Do you not understand what we're doing?"
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"Jenna, did you tell "Life & Style" that your favourite book is the Koran?"
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"I just wanted to sound smart."
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"Oh, hi, baby."
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"Would you take her for a second? I'm trying to finish her eyes."
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"Oh, for the love of Nut. OK."
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"- How about that, huh? - Yeah. She likes you."
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"Go ahead, walk around."
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"Look how pretty I look."
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"Who's the cutest baby in the world?"
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"Who's the cutest baby in the world?"
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"Who's the cutest baby in the world?"
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"How did I get home?"
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"But I think I know somebody that can help you with your sex-poop problem."
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"Please don't hurt me."
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"I can't help it. It just pours out of me."
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"I'm Jack Donaghy. I'm important."
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"I just bought the moon."
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"Oh, my God. I'm doing it again."
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"What?"
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"But living together is not gonna work out for me."
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"I can't do this."
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"Every day for the rest of your or her life."
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"And she will outlive you. She's like Castro."
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"When you're done with that, call my wife"
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"and tell her I'm sorry about what happened with me and Keith and them."
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"Wait. Who?"
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"One minute, I was holding the baby in makeup."
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"And then, suddenly, it was like highway hypnosis."
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"Oh, right, and you have someone else's baby in your car."
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"I feel so terrible."
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"Give me the baby. I'll try to smooth things over."
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"What's her name?"
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"Well, Anna calls her Isabelle, but I call her Nancy."
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"Think it might be a good idea if I give Anna the rest of the week off."
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"Seriously? We're really busy."
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"Well, of course, of course."
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"Stealing a baby? Really?"
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"- You're loving this, aren't you? - Oh, yes."
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"I'm a big fan of kidnapping, especially by my middle management."
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"First of all, I need to start working out. That kid was killing my arms."
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"Number two, I could be very happy with a baby"
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"that looks nothing like me and didn't bake in my oven."
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"Write it down in your little "I'm Awesome" book."
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"Where are you going? You have a rehearsal about to start."
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"I stole a baby, Jack. I'm taking a half day."
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"the career, the family."
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"But if anybody can figure out how to do it, it's me."
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"I was talking about you at work today, Mother."
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"I think my boss, Mr Jack Donaghy, wishes you were his mother."
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"Isn't that something, Mother?"
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"Yes, Kenneth. That's sweet."
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"Do you have me on speakerphone again?"
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"Yes, ma'am. It's just like "Charlie's Angels.""
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"Oh, by the way, did you get your old Halloween decorations I sent you?"
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"Oh, yes! Thank you. I'm looking at the kooky skeleton right now."
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"I love it. You're the best mother in the whole world."
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"- OK. Calm down, dear. - Yes, Mother."
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"in Florida, with a tea garden and rocks made of foam, because she falls down a lot."
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"Oh, hey. Blue pages. What's wrong?"
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"Very well. Ms Lemon... Liz..."
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"You see, Josh's father is an assassin with the Russian mafia."
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"No, I am not on anything."
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"Go back on your meds, Tracy."
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"Please."
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"Mother, I love you, too."
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"I run companies... plural."
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"Tracy, I've got to go. Idiot."
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"See, I need to be respected, Liz Lemon."
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"just to spend the rest of your days slowly sucking it out of them?"
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"I have a small ferret farm about 60 miles north of the city."
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"This is not toward!"
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"I have plenty of time to have a baby,"
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"Oh, no, no. That is not how I roll."
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"That's why he/she won't run for president."
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"and you keep smiling?"
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"I bought my mother a lovely retirement home..."
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"My mother is my best friend."
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"My body is telling me several things."
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"- Fair enough. - I have to do some thinking."
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"Oh, my God. ls this for me?"
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"It's so incredibly thoughtful."
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"Surprise!"
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"Jonathan! These cheap phones keep on shattering!"
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"Now, what is your urgent problem this time?"
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"accounts for 3% of our revenue but takes up 90% of my time?"
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"Yo, I don't like that dude. It's disrespectful when he imitates me."
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"What?"
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"If you insist upon going all Murphy Brown on me, let me give you a tip."
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"- What's up, Tra? - If, in the future..."
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