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Clips from 30 Rock - The Baby Show (S01E01)

"Engaged!"
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"Who let 407 through? Jonathan, we have drills for this!"
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"Jenna to the stage, please, for "Jazz Police,""
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"How would you like it if I did an impression of you, Liz Lemon?"
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"Tracy, stop Tasering him."
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"Well, if you won't do anything about it, I'll just go over your head to Donaghy."
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"Hey, Cerie, what are you doing?"
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"Oh, I let them do my makeup sometimes. They say it's fun for them."
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"It'll be two months in three weeks."
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"It just kind of seems like you're rushing into it a little bit."
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"But you only have a really short period where you can be a young, hot mom."
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"50 is not that old, Cerie."
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"Something's kicking in, and the last few months,"
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"My mother always told me that even when things seem bad,"
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"there's someone else who's having a worse day."
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"Like being stung by a bee or getting a splinter"
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"She calls me constantly. That was her,"
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"My mother tried to send me to Vietnam to make a man out of me."
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"You are a remarkable human being, Kenneth."
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"Got everything she needs except a phone."
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"It's her."
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"I should start by saying that I can't personally help you conceive."
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"Are you kidding me?"
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"And if you choose me, I agree not to take my shirt off."
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"- Can you believe her? - I know. it's so uncool."
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"- Is Jenna out here? Is she rehearsing? - She's onstage."
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"I can get cable if you want, 'cause I know how much you like the TV."
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"Think about it."
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"Stop telling everyone I need someone to get me pregnant."
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"I'm not telling everyone."
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"I don't have time for this conversation. I don't have time for anything."
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"What? But it's funny."
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"It was attacked by a Martian Cougar."
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"This is how you take care of things, Liz Lemon?"
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"Otherwise Jack Donaghy is gonna kill me, then he's gonna kill you,"
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"Everybody stop working right now!"
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"Yeah. Thanks."
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"Great."
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"They call him El Matador."
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"I keep pooping during sex."
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"Jenna thinks that I want to have a baby."
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"Don't say, "You're the only man I'll ever love.""
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"No. That's why my brain is the boss."
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"you carried me for nine months. Let me carry you now."
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"Well, right back at you, Colleen! Yeah, that's right!"
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"Tracy, please, do not bother Jack. He is in a weird place right now."
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"- B. B. Jackson's condo? - No."
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"- A children's clothing store in Dubai? - Stop guessing."
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"it means I'm off my meds and should be ignored."
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"Also, I think Josh Girard is a young Alec Guinness."
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"- Idiot. - Idiot."
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"- Oh, I'm actually really busy. - Please. I heard you were baby-crazy."
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"- Uh, no. - Yes, she is."
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"Why didn't you say something?"
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"Jack Donaghy?"
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"Now, I know you asked me not to say anything."
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"Yes, I went this morning. I don't know. Regular consistency."
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"- Oh, God! it's true that you had the baby. - I don't know what happened."
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"You know, when you pull into your driveway, but you don't remember driving home?"
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"Hey, I found Isabelle! I'm a hero."
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"What you were saying about listening to your mind and not your body... how's that going?"
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"Three, I got to let myself have a personal life."
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"- I've been telling you that for five months. - Well, you're right again."
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"Maybe it's impossible to have it all..."
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"- That's going up. - Aw, nerts!"
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"Well, I don't know why they need you in the studio."
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"I can't believe you made all this fuss over my birthday."
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"Let me give something back to you guys."
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"Hey, guess what, everyone. I'm engaged."
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"Hey, this isn't gonna change the way you dress or eat lollipops, is it?"
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"- No. - Oh, then congratulations."
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"Thank you."
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"This is for you, Cerie."
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"Everyone, guess what! There's an antique-car show in the plaza!"
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"OK, I..."
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"- How long is Jack gonna be? - He's still on the phone."
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"Area code 4077 Oh, no. When did this happen?"
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"-407? Is that bad? - It's fine. It is gonna be just fine."
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"- You can go in now. - No."
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"- Liz distracted me. - No, I didn't."
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"What's going on? Business got you down?"
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"Business doesn't get me down. Business gets me off."
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"Well, the writers and I wanted to get "TGS" jackets."
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"But the guy in accounting says we can't have the jackets,"
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"- but "Dateline" has jackets. - Jackets?"
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"Is this what you're talking about now? Jackets?"
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"Do you realize that your little show"
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"Hello!"
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"Now, would you do me a kindness, please,"
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"and handle your problems yourself and stop bothering me?"
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"Is that too much to ask?"
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"Absolutely. Forget it. I won't bother you about anything any more."
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"- He's a little bit of a stress eater, huh? - He puts up with so much."
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"All right."
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"Liz, you should have seen this guy at the club last night."
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"Everybody at this party is a Jedi."
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"We must get our freak on while our fruit is plentiful."
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"Thank you for the funnest night of my life. Love you, man."
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"I love you, too, J. Bird."
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"I want him fired."
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"Aw, come on. It's a goof."
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"Hi! I'm Liz Lemon! I like to wear man shirts. Watch me skateboard."
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"- I don't skateboard. - Hurts, doesn't it?"
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"- I'm not firing Josh. - You always take his side."
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"- But what do you know about respect? - Please, Tracy, just let it go."
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"No. No. Do not do that. Don't bother him."
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"All right. I'll talk to Josh."
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"She's like a Barbie."
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"Oh, sorry. My babysitter got jury duty. I think I'm going to kill myself."
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"So, Cerie, how long have you known this guy that you're marrying?"
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"You would love him, Liz. He's so funny."
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"He does this thing where he screams at limo drivers."
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"I guess. But we both want to have babies while it's still cool."
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"I already have all the names picked out."
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"If it's a girl, Bookcase. Or Sandstorm."
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"Or maybe Hat. But that's more of a boy's name."
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"Yeah. I was gonna say."
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"It's just you're so young, Cerie."
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"There's no big hurry to have babies."
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"I mean, there are other things in life,"
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