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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Perspiration Implementation (S09E09)

"Thanks for coming by."
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"Well, I know more women are"
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"buying comics than ever, but for some reason,"
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"I-I can't get 'em in here."
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"All right, well, what have you tried so far?"
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"Uh, I've-I've been stocking more female-oriented titles."
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"into a triangle."
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"And, uh,"
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"don't worry. I-I've got a camera right up here,"
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"and make sure guys aren't being pervs."
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"Anyway,"
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"so what do I got to do to-to"
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"get you in the door?"
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"Well, for starters,"
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"you might want to rethink some of this artwork."
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"Well, you don't know the backstory."
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"I always wanted to be a swashbuckler when I was a kid."
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"Technically,"
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""swashbuckler" is a combination of two terms."
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""Swash" referring to the sound of the sword."
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"And then"
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""buckler" meaning a small shield, which you don't have."
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"We can still be swashers. Hmm."
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"Before we start, I just want to warn you, fencing isn't a joke."
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"like Star Wars."
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"Yeah, I'm here because I think"
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"it's gonna be like Game of Thrones."
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"And maybe a little Princess Bride."
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"Ooh, ooh! I forgot about Princess Bride!"
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"If you're not willing to put in the effort,"
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"you might as well just leave now."
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"We're not afraid of physical activity. Yeah."
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"I already ran 18 miles today."
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"Feet are in an "L." Heels in a straight line."
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"Elbow is about a fist"
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"What's wrong, Cooper?"
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"Well, I'm not sure I have a dominant leg."
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"They're both pretty submissive."
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"which foot do you flush the toilet with?"
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"Okay,"
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"Good. Knees bent,"
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"slightly over the toe."
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"I am going to feel this tomorrow."
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"The first move is called an advance."
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"You move your front foot forward, heel to toe."
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"Back foot follows."
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"Now you try. Advance."
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"And advance. And advance."
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"This is easy. I didn't need to wear a cup."
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"The next move is called a retreat."
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"Back foot first, toe to heel."
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"In fencing, we don't call it a stab."
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"We call it a touch. Uh, yes, I'm aware."
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"I'll get called into Human Resources."
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"Okay, on three,"
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"Cooper and Koothrappali advance, the other two retreat."
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"One, two, three."
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"Very good. Switch it up."
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"Can I call you back?"
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"Have you thought about advertising directly to females?"
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"Hmm, okay."
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"Well... All right."
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"What if I put up a sign in the window that said,"
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""Women, come in."
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"Uh, have you read the online reviews for this place?"
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"Eh,"
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"All right, well, Heather H. says,"
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""The owner stared at me the whole time"
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""The creepy guy who runs it asked me out,"
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""I told the weird owner that I liked his shirt."
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"With your foil extended,"
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"kick your front leg up and push off with your back leg."
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"En garde, Leonard."
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"Prepare yourself for a rigorous touching."
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"to die."
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"I thought you were Puss in Boots."
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"Oh, yeah, right. Sorry."
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"I'm looking forward to him teaching us glove-slapping."
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"What?"
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"You know, when my honor is insulted,"
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"and I need to challenge someone to a duel"
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"by slapping them across the face with my glove."
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"When was your honor insulted?"
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"My last physical."
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"Again, that doctor didn't insult your honor."
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"Just checked your prostate."
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"Prepare to die."
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"This is fun. Good."
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"It's nice to see your mind off Amy."
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"but she broke up with me."
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"Really?"
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"Good to know."
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""Good to know"?"
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"What's that supposed to mean? Oh."
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"I hate to say it, but it sounds like he's interested in her."
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"but it's not really up to you."
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"Look, even if it's not him,"
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"You really think so?"
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"Of course. She deserves to be happy."
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"Listen, I should warn you"
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"that maybe asking Amy out isn't a good idea."
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"If you intend to pursue Amy,"
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"you leave me with no choice but to put a stop to it."
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"By challenging you to a duel."
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"That is why the duel will take place"
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"If you're worth your salt as an instructor,"
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"I should be ready by then."
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"I'm going to touch you all over."
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"it's true, but let's-let's consider for a moment"
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"that possibly I'm the problem. Yeah."
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"You are. You can say it."
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"I mean, what can I do?"
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"I get so nervous around women."
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"Well, you're talking to us now."
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"I mean, you don't seem nervous."
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"Well, that's 'cause I'm doing that trick"
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"where you imagine the audience is naked."
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"By the way, thumbs up, ladies."
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"Do you not hear how creepy that sounds?"
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"It was a joke."
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