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Clips from Scrubs - My Conventional Wisdom (S06E06)

"can accommodate the financial comps."
Scrubs
"I hope so."
Scrubs
"Ted, you do realize that was all gibberish?"
Scrubs
"He's just pretending."
Scrubs
"He can't make any real changes in this place."
Scrubs
"Jack, what are you doing?"
Scrubs
"Hey."
Scrubs
"would still be a preferable alternative"
Scrubs
"to actually having to hear you utter your self-written vows."
Scrubs
""My dearest Keith, my heart was like a vault,"
Scrubs
""but you picked the lock like an apple thief"
Scrubs
""who picks the first Golden Delicious of the fall harvest.""
Scrubs
"Okay, first of all, stop reading my wedding binder."
Scrubs
"It's private. And..."
Scrubs
"I cannot believe that you wouldn't want to come"
Scrubs
"Let's just be honest for two seconds here."
Scrubs
"once you eliminate the women and the gays."
Scrubs
"The too old,"
Scrubs
"the too poor..."
Scrubs
"The ones who just barely beat the rap for murdering their first wife."
Scrubs
"And, of course, Ted."
Scrubs
"As you can see here,"
Scrubs
"I can't believe Kim's here. I guess I have to go talk to her."
Scrubs
"Why is that a bad thing?"
Scrubs
"- Really? - Mmm-hmm."
Scrubs
"Let me see."
Scrubs
"Yeah, you're right. Check it."
Scrubs
"I wondered how things were going back at the hospital."
Scrubs
"Elliot was probably still giddy about her engagement."
Scrubs
"Okay, that's all I've got. Thanks for barely listening."
Scrubs
"(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)"
Scrubs
"when you clearly didn't?"
Scrubs
"I should answer more face-to-face after the lecture."
Scrubs
"Are there any other questions?"
Scrubs
"Yeah, I think you should answer his question."
Scrubs
"J.D.: How did he get over there so fast?"
Scrubs
"- You're a good friend. - I got your back."
Scrubs
"OLD MC: Bust a move!"
Scrubs
"I've always wanted to be married so badly."
Scrubs
"Mmm-hmm."
Scrubs
""Why am I with this angry, cynical idiot?""
Scrubs
"But then I fought through it and realized he was the love of my life."
Scrubs
"Unfortunately, we had a little argument and so we broke up,"
Scrubs
"And that is how I got my name."
Scrubs
"You don't look Asian."
Scrubs
"Hey, why aren't you being the Chief of Medicine?"
Scrubs
"The hospital needs you. I need you. Doesn't that mean anything?"
Scrubs
"Sorry?"
Scrubs
"Okay, too soon for laughter."
Scrubs
"I know that you must be really upset."
Scrubs
"- How could you do this to me? - I don't know."
Scrubs
"My hormones went crazy and I was scared,"
Scrubs
"and I thought that we were only together"
Scrubs
"because I was pregnant and so I lied,"
Scrubs
"and then I got really angry that you left me."
Scrubs
"I don't know, how about, "J.D., I think there might be"
Scrubs
""something living in my uterus.""
Scrubs
"I just... I had backed myself into this corner"
Scrubs
"I didn't know how to get out of and..."
Scrubs
"No more excuses."
Scrubs
"Well, good, because I'm not going to."
Scrubs
"You probably hate me right now because I hate myself."
Scrubs
"And I thought I could do this on my own,"
Scrubs
"but I can't."
Scrubs
"I'm alone and I'm terrified, and I have no right to ask you for this,"
Scrubs
"but I could really use some help."
Scrubs
"Crap salad, I gotta go give another lecture."
Scrubs
"Please stay."
Scrubs
"Promise me that you'll just stay and we can talk about this."
Scrubs
"Fine, but I'm not doing it for you."
Scrubs
"Fair enough."
Scrubs
"There's no need to freak out, Elliot."
Scrubs
"All women go through the same stages once they're engaged."
Scrubs
"- Remember yesterday? - I know."
Scrubs
"It was so great."
Scrubs
"Then comes the "Oh, my God, I can't believe"
Scrubs
""I'm gonna have sex with the same person for the rest of my life" stage."
Scrubs
"and then the next morning do the walk of shame to your Beamer."
Scrubs
"Sure."
Scrubs
"Elliot, you'll get through this."
Scrubs
"See, at times like this, we tend to torture our men"
Scrubs
"What's this, Keith? Huh?"
Scrubs
"Our sample invite with the lettering you picked out."
Scrubs
"Now, you go back to the printer and you tell them it should look like this."
Scrubs
"and then I'll get depressed and fat,"
Scrubs
"and you cheat on me and I swear to God,"
Scrubs
"I suppose this would dissolve surgical glue,"
Scrubs
"Oh, you know, boys being boys."
Scrubs
"I was just on the phone with your Chief of Medicine 10 minutes ago."
Scrubs
"Fax this to someone."
Scrubs
"Chief o' Medicine."
Scrubs
"I'm the Chief of Medicine, Bob Kelso. Who the hell is this?"
Scrubs
"I'm you. I'm talking to you from a future phone."
Scrubs
"By the way, sell all your gasoline stocks."
Scrubs
"Everything now runs on potatoes."
Scrubs
"I don't know who the hell this is, but when I find out,"
Scrubs
"Hey, where'd you go?"
Scrubs
"That's a little phoofy for my taste. A beer is fine."
Scrubs
"How you doing?"
Scrubs
"Oh, no. That was bigger than a bomb."
Scrubs
"It was more like an asteroid about to hit the planet."
Scrubs
"You know, people running in the streets screaming,"
Scrubs
""Look, we 'bout to die so can I hit that?" And then the girl's like, "Hell to the no!""
Scrubs
""Oh, my God, I'm about to die. So you know what?"
Scrubs
""Yeah, you can hit this, but no kissing.""
Scrubs
"I literally don't know what to say to her. Don't you dare!"
Scrubs
"Part of me wants to talk to her, part of me wants to..."
Scrubs
"and you're not walking away from that."
Scrubs
"Oh, say, Barbie, I'm gonna go ahead and ask you one more time."
Scrubs
"May I please, please use your practice's SPECT camera?"
Scrubs
"Sure, whatever."
Scrubs
"I don't care."
Scrubs
"Look, I love it that after six years I can still mess with your head."
Scrubs
"It is both a testament to my commitment"
Scrubs
"and a glaring statement about your mental fragility."
Scrubs
"But still, as much as it pains me to say it,"
Scrubs
"there's nothing I did or said"
Scrubs
"that had any real impact on your relationship"
Scrubs
"Yeah, but I got all crazy and went off on him."
Scrubs
"Of course you did, you're a woman."
Scrubs
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