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Clips from Scrubs - My Conventional Wisdom (S06E06)

"it was time to start planning the wedding."
Scrubs
"When I tell Father O'Neill that I actually need it this time,"
Scrubs
"J.D.: Women tend to hear one thing when men offer them wedding advice."
Scrubs
"So when Keith said this..."
Scrubs
"Go ahead, do whatever you want, regardless of what I say."
Scrubs
"- We'd have to share. - Then you know what my answer is."
Scrubs
"you can still hear the people talking"
Scrubs
"TURK: Yeah, that drives me crazy."
Scrubs
"All right, time to hit the convention floor."
Scrubs
"Me, too."
Scrubs
"What's all the extra security around here?"
Scrubs
"What up, Phoenix?"
Scrubs
"That's what I like about the South."
Scrubs
"(ALL LAUGHING)"
Scrubs
"I'm pretty sure he's sick and tired of saying it."
Scrubs
"You're probably right."
Scrubs
"Hey, bust a move!"
Scrubs
"Bust a move, fellas!"
Scrubs
"I can die now."
Scrubs
"J.D.: Elliot was wasting no time"
Scrubs
"You haven't even asked me to be your maid of honor yet."
Scrubs
"Of course I will, you're my best friend."
Scrubs
"Yeah. What do you think I've been doing for the last 10 years?"
Scrubs
"There's the seating chart,"
Scrubs
"Oh, and here's a photo of my wedding dress,"
Scrubs
"thanks to that awesome parasite I got from eating sushi."
Scrubs
"ever since my Lord of the Rings club booted me for using"
Scrubs
"an actual war hammer."
Scrubs
"- Oh, Janitor, you're a natural. - That's fine."
Scrubs
"Oh, save the date."
Scrubs
"Why?"
Scrubs
"We got these."
Scrubs
"You're awesome, man."
Scrubs
"Look, just because I get to spend"
Scrubs
"the weekend drinking beer with the guys"
Scrubs
"and overpaying the escorts so they'll do the weird stuff,"
Scrubs
"Attend some lectures, visit some booths,"
Scrubs
"act like professionals, damn it!"
Scrubs
"Oh, it's much more than that."
Scrubs
"so I've called in my colleague, Dr. Toilet."
Scrubs
"It was kind of an emergency situation."
Scrubs
"An accident?"
Scrubs
"Dr. Dorian, there are 48 other toilets in this hospital."
Scrubs
"Didn't you hear me screaming to get off?"
Scrubs
"I thought they were coming from me."
Scrubs
"Janine, hold my calls, I'm gonna take a nap."
Scrubs
"I know that we haven't spoke"
Scrubs
"I'm notifying all my old boyfriends that I am officially off the market."
Scrubs
"I have a cardiac patient who needs perfusion imaging,"
Scrubs
"and since your fancy private practice has one of those SPECT cameras,"
Scrubs
"so I would love you to come."
Scrubs
"Plus, if you don't, then table 14"
Scrubs
"I'm sorry, Carla, but I need you to take care of this lab work."
Scrubs
"When people try to put me in the middle of things,"
Scrubs
"my throat closes."
Scrubs
"Ted, come along."
Scrubs
"That's gonna kill. Just be careful, don't really choke."
Scrubs
"we'd be getting married?"
Scrubs
"Dude, you gotta turn this off, all right? We're on vacation."
Scrubs
"There are plenty of hot girls here, and single."
Scrubs
"Good afternoon."
Scrubs
"When is this hospital gonna get its own SPECT camera?"
Scrubs
"That is a very good point and I am on it."
Scrubs
"Tell that to the new daycare program."
Scrubs
"You know, if you're still having problems with that picture,"
Scrubs
"all you gotta do is agree to go to my wedding"
Scrubs
"and you can use our camera."
Scrubs
"Blondie, as attached as I have indeed become to my patient,"
Scrubs
"You basically lived in this dump for the last six years,"
Scrubs
"and there weren't that many guys to choose from,"
Scrubs
"No!"
Scrubs
"recurrence rates were significantly diminished"
Scrubs
"with the higher doses."
Scrubs
"We haven't really spoken since the miscarriage."
Scrubs
"Yeah, well, she looks good. I think her boobs got bigger."
Scrubs
"J.D.: As we sat there air-groping my ex,"
Scrubs
"Do ya really want to marry Keith or do you just want to get married?"
Scrubs
"Are there any questions?"
Scrubs
"Why would you tell me you miscarried our child"
Scrubs
"Yes, you sir."
Scrubs
"Anyone else have a question? Yes, you in the back."
Scrubs
"Elliot, what you're going through is normal."
Scrubs
"but then I met Perry a month later, we have two beautiful children,"
Scrubs
"Oh."
Scrubs
"I'm just taking a break, Ted. I don't want it to get stale."
Scrubs
"Damn right it does. Now, let's go find a cure for polio."
Scrubs
"Upset is just one of the emotions I'm feeling, Kim."
Scrubs
"I know I made a huge mistake, and I'm so, so sorry."
Scrubs
"I did a horrible thing."
Scrubs
"I don't expect you to forgive me."
Scrubs
"I just need 40 minutes and..."
Scrubs
"First, there's the "Yay, I'm engaged" stage."
Scrubs
"And that's when you head to the nearest frat house,"
Scrubs
"Oh, yeah, I can't see myself doing that."
Scrubs
"No. This is not what I picked out. I picked out Flourished Italic."
Scrubs
"I went to calligraphy camp. Now, don't you screw this up, Keith."
Scrubs
"Because if this goes wrong, then the wedding goes wrong,"
Scrubs
"A SPECT camera, huh?"
Scrubs
"My hospital, Sacred Heart, needs one of those."
Scrubs
"It's funny you should say that."
Scrubs
"(PHONE RINGING)"
Scrubs
"I am going to put my Loafer so far up your ass"
Scrubs
"Now tell me who you are."
Scrubs
"What's your name again?"
Scrubs
"(EXCLAIMS)"
Scrubs
"Sorry, sir, we don't have Appletinis, but I could make you a Peachtini."
Scrubs
"But then she realizes,"
Scrubs
"That's exactly what it's like."
Scrubs
"Oh, thank you. I'm just so mad."
Scrubs
"and then you're gonna talk to her because you're a good person."
Scrubs
"No matter what mistakes she's made, she's still having your kid,"
Scrubs
"That's great, 'cause I actually already used it."
Scrubs
"with the future Mr. Barbie."
Scrubs
"Sure, you do come with a little extra crazy,"
Scrubs
"but what the heck, that's what makes you, you."
Scrubs
"Because sometimes I like to do nice things without being coerced."
Scrubs
"You wanted to see me, sir?"
Scrubs
"I know it was you, and you are going to pay dearly."
Scrubs
"Wait. First I want you to meet a new doctor."
Scrubs
"where life wasn't so complicated."
Scrubs
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