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Clips from A Series of Unfortunate Events - The Bad Beginning: Part Two (S01E01)

"But just as a single bulb can illuminate even the most depressing of rooms,"
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"the right idea can shed light on a depressing situation."
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"But the inventing area in Violet's mind was large and bright..."
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"and inside of it was everything she needed."
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"Oh, Olaf, that is perfect."
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"It's so wonderful that, in addition to your many talents,"
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"you have a marvelous eye for fashion."
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"What was that?"
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"I think what's-his-name is shaving."
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"Right. Tell me if this is too much. Baby's breath."
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"No, sprigs of baby's breath in Violet's hair."
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"Oh!"
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"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious."
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"It is the source of all true art and science."
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"How pleasant that you could join us."
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"What are you gonna do with me?"
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"- I said have a seat. - No, you didn't."
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"Who? Be specific."
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"- Hand problem? What do you want? - Yeah."
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"Your blushing bride just climbed up here to try and rescue the biting brat."
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"- Well, how'd she do that? - Oh, I don't know."
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"- Well, take a guess. - Um... Well, some sort of, uh..."
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"- Some sort of what? - Uh, ropey thing."
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"- It was a grappling hook. - She says it was a grappling hook."
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"- She's mine. - No, yes, boss, of course"
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"I understand she's yours."
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"- Stay there. I'll be right up. - Uh... okay."
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"- Goodbye. - Over and out."
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"- Over? What is that supposed to mean? - Over and out?"
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"Oh, um..."
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"- I mean. I think it's... - It's what?"
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"- It's kind of an... a, uh... - Kind of an a what?"
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"- Walkie-talkie slang for goodbye. - Say that."
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"I'm sorry. Okay, fine. Yeah."
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"- Well, for God... See you soon. - Okay. Goodbye."
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"I'm not his bride."
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"Oh, very soon you will be."
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"Which means that I will soon be your henchperson-in-law."
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"You know, some people say that the hardest job in the world"
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"is raising a child."
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"But it is nothing compared to conceiving, writing, directing, producing"
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"for the purposes of stealing their dead parents' fortune."
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"It's a very difficult job,"
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"and I will not have any orphans mucking it up."
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"Klaus..."
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"whatchamacallit..."
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"It's so high. You must have been terrified."
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"It's not as scary as the thought of marrying Count Olaf."
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"I'm sorry it didn't work."
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"The invention worked fine. I just got caught."
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"We've got to rescue Sunny and get out of here"
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"You're gonna need to flip it a couple of times, like, okay?"
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"And don't touch the baby!"
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"- It's gonna be okay, Sunny. - Just hang in there."
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"It's okay. He didn't mean it as a joke."
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"Do you think you could invent something to help us escape?"
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"Maybe."
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"Do you think you could research a way to get us out of the wedding?"
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"I am certain that over the course of your own life,"
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"you have noticed that certain rooms"
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"For instance..."
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"in my own lonely room, I have..."
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"gathered a collection of things which are important to me,"
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"a few crucial objects that I have gathered in my travels"
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"a blurry photograph..."
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"from across what was once a prominent theater,"
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"no more able to help the Baudelaires"
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"If we had kerosene, we could make Molotov cocktails"
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"with those old wine bottles."
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"If we throw them out the window, we could attract attention."
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"But we don't have any kerosene."
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"If you don't say I do and you don't sign the document with your own hand,"
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"Come, orphans. It's time for the big event."
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"My associate here..."
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"Hello, good to see you again."
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"will stay with your sister and we will be in constant contact"
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"with the use of these walkie-talkies."
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"If anything goes wrong during tonight's performance,"
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"your sister will be dropped to her death. Shall we?"
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"- We'll be back soon, Sunny. - Don't worry."
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"Come on."
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"Count Olaf, Eleanora Poe, from the Daily Punctilio."
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"Taking the role of a handsome man is certainly a brave choice."
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"Well, as an actor, I think live theater is a much more powerful medium"
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"- is nothing more than an evil plot? - Evil plot?"
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"The only evil plot going on is the one you'll see on stage."
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"Act two, 9:30, unless concession sales are strong."
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"- Check. - The wedding will be around 10:00 p.m.,"
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"followed by champagne toasts, reception with cake and finger food,"
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"Check."
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"I'm just glad the Baudelaires are adjusting to their new life."
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"I had my doubts about Count Olaf,"
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"but now that I see he's putting three young children in the theater,"
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"all my anxieties are put to rest."
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"You two will stay right here until the wedding scene."
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"Any sort of funny business, and it's curtains for your baby sister."
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"You see, curtains means that your sister will be dropped out of the window,"
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"but it's also a sort of play on theatrical curtains."
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"One minute to curtain."
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"- You look great. - Don't distract me with idle chatter."
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"Now, Justice Whatever, sit here until the wedding scene."
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"Remember, you must use the exact same wording you use in an actual wedding."
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"Get it absolutely right."
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"There's talent scouts in the audience looking for new actresses about your age."
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"Talent scouts! Oh, my!"
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"Justice Strauss, may we speak to you?"
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"Don't distract me with idle chatter. I am trying to get into character."
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"Your better side."
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"Rubber baby, baby, baby. Rubber baby..."
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"Rubber baby, baby..."
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"Rubber baby, baby, baby."
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"- Rubber baby, baby, baby. - Showtime."
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"- All right, all right. - All right, all right."
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"- Rubber bubber... Baby bubber. - Rubber bubber..."
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"He's not literally standing at the edge of a pond."
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"He's figuratively standing at the edge of a pond."
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"What is a very handsome man like me to do about it..."
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"except perform a lengthy soliloquy?"
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"Don't suppose you know how to play poker."
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"I am very handsome, but I am only one man."
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