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Clips from Seinfeld - The Doorman (S06E06)

"No. If you tell him to do it, he'll never do it."
Seinfeld
"What you have to do is introduce him, and then he'll just come out with it."
Seinfeld
"Yes. Yes, you're right. That's right."
Seinfeld
"I'll bring her over to meet Kramer."
Seinfeld
"- Hi. - Hey. Hello, boys and girls."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. Hey, listen. I need a picture of you, buddy."
Seinfeld
"- What for? - I'm putting everybody's picture up..."
Seinfeld
"I don't want my picture plastered up in the lobby."
Seinfeld
"Imagine walking by someone on the floor and you say, Hey, Carl..."
Seinfeld
"I just wanna nod and be on my way."
Seinfeld
"You know, your eyeliner's smudged a little."
Seinfeld
"Why do you wear so much eye make-up?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah. This is gonna work out just fine."
Seinfeld
"Ma, again with the ketchup?"
Seinfeld
"Jerry. Hello."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, me too."
Seinfeld
"- Aren't you gonna kiss her hello? - Yes, yes, of course."
Seinfeld
"- I'll do it. - I got it."
Seinfeld
"- Give it to me. - Stop it."
Seinfeld
"You should let Buddy open it."
Seinfeld
"- Leo, did you give Helen the $50? - What $50?"
Seinfeld
"Your father won $1000 at the track last week..."
Seinfeld
"...and he gave you 100..."
Seinfeld
"...and you were supposed to give $50 to your sister."
Seinfeld
"Ma, Dad died in 1962."
Seinfeld
"Believe me, I don't owe your mother $50."
Seinfeld
"I'm not getting any hot water."
Seinfeld
"I know there's nothing worse than when your shower's not working."
Seinfeld
"- I'm gonna take care of it. - Thanks, Julio."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, hey. - Hey, hey. Hello."
Seinfeld
"- Well, then what are you doing? - I need a pen."
Seinfeld
"You're looking for a picture of me?"
Seinfeld
"You got that straight."
Seinfeld
"...we wouldn't have the problems we have in the world."
Seinfeld
"You don't rob somebody if you know their name."
Seinfeld
"You're robbing me."
Seinfeld
"- Are you going home? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Can you come back in about five minutes?"
Seinfeld
"This will be an interesting experiment to see if Kramer says something."
Seinfeld
"- You wanna go through with this? - Listen, Jerry, she never dates..."
Seinfeld
"...and I know it's because of her hair."
Seinfeld
"Hello. Oh, hi, Mom."
Seinfeld
"...your father winning, like, $1000 at the track?"
Seinfeld
"Really?"
Seinfeld
"How do I know? Because Nana doesn't know what year it is..."
Seinfeld
"Oh, Morty, please."
Seinfeld
"$663.45..."
Seinfeld
"- Or if you put it into a 10-year T-bill- - Morty, will you stop it?"
Seinfeld
"- Yeah? - It's Wendy."
Seinfeld
"Come on up."
Seinfeld
"- This is it. Should I go get Kramer? - No, no. He'll come in."
Seinfeld
"This is gonna be my first opportunity to not kiss her hello."
Seinfeld
"What is the big deal about putting your lips on somebody's face?"
Seinfeld
"It's the obligation. You know, as soon as this person comes in..."
Seinfeld
"...you know you have to do this."
Seinfeld
"...then I think I could see the value in it a little better."
Seinfeld
"- That's her. That's her. - Wait, wait."
Seinfeld
"- Hi, Wendy. - Hi, Elaine."
Seinfeld
"- Would you like something to drink? - Sure."
Seinfeld
"So how's everything going?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, okay. Your friend George came by the office the other day."
Seinfeld
"Hey, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"- Come on. That's not fair. - I told you I was gonna get it."
Seinfeld
"Kramer, Kramer, I'd like you to meet my friend Wendy."
Seinfeld
"You know, I really like that hairdo."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, you were? - No, no. You don't wanna do that."
Seinfeld
"- Nobody wears it like that. - No, Kramer..."
Seinfeld
"- ... if she wants to change her hair- - No."
Seinfeld
"You'd be a damn fool to change it."
Seinfeld
"- It's very becoming. - Oh, well."
Seinfeld
"So who's that friend of yours, that guy who came in?"
Seinfeld
"- Oh, Kramer. - Yeah. Does he have a girlfriend?"
Seinfeld
"You wanna go out with him?"
Seinfeld
"Well, it's just that- That I-"
Seinfeld
"Elaine?"
Seinfeld
"You know, my arm feels a lot better. That Wendy really knows her stuff."
Seinfeld
"Same time tomorrow?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, same time. There you go."
Seinfeld
"Oh, you owe 150."
Seinfeld
"- What for? - Well, you cancelled on Tuesday..."
Seinfeld
"...and our policy is 24 hours' notice..."
Seinfeld
"...for all cancellations."
Seinfeld
"Well, I couldn't come. I had to drive my mother to the chiropodist."
Seinfeld
"I had to take my mother to the chiropodist."
Seinfeld
"Well, I'm sorry. That's our policy."
Seinfeld
"Oh, you have a policy. The delicate genius has a policy."
Seinfeld
"So will you be here tomorrow?"
Seinfeld
"Well, it's less than 24 hours, so I guess I have to."
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God. Look at that picture. That's terrible."
Seinfeld
"You can't put that picture up."
Seinfeld
"Well, it's not a beauty contest."
Seinfeld
"It's just a way for people to get to know one another."
Seinfeld
"...Steve."
Seinfeld
"Hey, Kramer. My friend Wendy wants to go out with you."
Seinfeld
"Well, how do you do?"
Seinfeld
"Hello, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"See, what was I telling you? Isn't this nice?"
Seinfeld
"Jerry, you know, could you help me with a package?"
Seinfeld
"- Oh, sure. Yeah. - Thank you."
Seinfeld
"You see, that's just what I need, more kissing."
Seinfeld
"Hello. Oh, hi, Ma."
Seinfeld
"Oh, Ma, he didn't?"
Seinfeld
"He couldn't."
Seinfeld
"Uncle Leo put Nana in a home."
Seinfeld
"- Why? - I don't know."
Seinfeld
"- Pretty good. - Just pretty good? Not great?"
Seinfeld
"- Are you happy? - Oh, I'm delighted."
Seinfeld
"- Okay. Have a nice day. - You too."
Seinfeld
"Hey."
Seinfeld
"Oh, well, thank you very much."
Seinfeld
"- For what? - For putting my picture up on that wall."
Seinfeld
"I'm like Richard Dawson down there now."
Seinfeld
"- I can't even get out of the building. - You should be thanking me..."
Seinfeld
"My father's demanding my uncle pay interest..."
Seinfeld
"...on $50 he was supposed to give my mother in 1941..."
Seinfeld
"...and my uncle put my Nana in a home to try and shut her up."
Seinfeld
"Another thing, Cosmo, Kramer, whatever you wanna be called..."
Seinfeld
"...the kissing thing is over. There's no more kissing..."
Seinfeld
"I left a message on your machine. You didn't get it?"
Seinfeld
"- When did you leave the message? - A few hours ago."
Seinfeld
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