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Clips from The Office - Michael's Birthday (S02E02)

"And that's when we get our work done."
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"I'm still waiting."
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"Yeah. Yes."
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"There he is, the birthday boy. Oh, God."
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"Birthday hug. No, no, no, no. New suit. Please."
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"Actually, Bulgaria. So..."
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"Maybe I should get one."
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"Good luck. One-of-a-kind."
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"EBay."
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"Question: May I be in charge of the party planning festivities?"
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"Not necessary. The Party Planning Committee is all over it."
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"They've been working 24l7, all day, yesterday."
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"Don't! No. Please. Don't want to spoil it for anybody."
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"Let's get the party started. Let's get the party started."
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"Not the way I taught you."
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"When should we bring out the cake, 1:00 or 1:30?"
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"Party Planning Committee, listen up."
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"Here's a list of things that Michael would like to be surprised by."
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"Michael wants a stripper gram?"
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"Yes, but he doesn't want to know when or whom."
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"Yeah. Michael, I have Jan on the line."
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"Hello, Michael? Hey, you."
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"I'm returning your call. You said it was urgent."
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"It is urgent. I just wanted to call and wish you a happy birthday."
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"Well, today's not my birthday. So..."
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"Really?"
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"Totally private. You can say whatever is in your heart."
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"You can take a five if you want."
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"Man, I'm so sorry. When do you find out?"
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"I might have skin cancer. Oh, no."
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"I was watching Grey's Anatomy and there was a lifeguard on it,"
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"I never really thought about death until Princess Diana died."
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"Who brought in donuts? Somebody got donuts for my birthday."
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"I guess I forgot."
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"Are you serious?"
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"Skin cancer is treatable. Right."
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"It's probably nothing though."
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"Hi. Delivery for Michael Scott."
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"Here we go."
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"Dwight, may I have your chair, please?"
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"And some singles if you will?"
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"Okay."
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"All right."
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"This has arms. Is that gonna be a... Is that all right?"
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"Sure."
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"Okay."
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"I'm so nervous."
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"When I was seven,"
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"to come to my house for all the kids."
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"And my mother was rubbing cream on me for probably three hours"
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"And by the time I got out, the pony was already in the truck"
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"and around the corner."
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"Nobody even signed my birthday poster."
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"I probably care more than she does. You're making it worse."
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"When does he hear? Sometime today."
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"If I knew I had a week to live, I would probably go to Europe."
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"And the Grand Canyon."
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"And I would want to see the Pacific Ocean."
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"It would be a pretty busy week."
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"Unfortunately, this item is on back-order."
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"It is 11:23 exactly."
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"There is a tradition that the Hebrews have"
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"of hoisting the birthday boy up on a chair. Oh, no."
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"So come over and help me celebrate Michael's birth moment."
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"Kevin! Oh, no, no, no!"
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"Come on, Stanley, let's go!"
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"I feel like we should go get Kevin something."
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"Do you think we can sneak out of here? Maybe,"
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"but we're gonna need somebody to create a diversion and..."
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"On three, we're gonna hoist away. Ready?"
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"Okay. Happy birth moment, Michael. Thank you."
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"Whoa, Whoa! Cut... All right, all right, watch it please."
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"Oscar. It wasn't me."
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"Okay, that is not an 8-foot sub."
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"All right, what's the damage? $39.60."
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"Why tip someone for a job I'm capable of doing myself?"
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"I can deliver food, I can drive a taxi,"
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"I did, however, tip my urologist."
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"My gift to you. What is this?"
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"Just the bread. It's fresh-baked. No."
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"Okay."
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"Get whatever you want. And choke on it."
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"I was supposed to go out on a date"
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"that she apparently thought the date was with."
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"So, we got Kev some stuff."
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"Party pack of M&M's, his favorite candy."
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"And he lent it to Creed,"
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"so I can guarantee you he won't get that back."
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"Sixty-nine Cup of Noodles."
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"Which we realize sounds crass, but it is his favorite number."
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"Someone ate three feet of that thing? Hell, yeah."
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"Save room for ice cream cake. Thank you."
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"This is the most important day of the year."
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"Fine."
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"What about that meeting later"
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"But don't expect any cookie."
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"But what if I'm hungry?"
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"You use fabric softener? Yeah. You don't?"
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"No, I do."
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"Okay."
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"Happy birthday"
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"dear Michael"
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"Kevin, respect the birthday, please?"
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"I will. Goodbye."
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"It was just Daisy. Are you done?"
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"Good."
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"...blow out the candles. Okay."
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"Pam was supposed to get them. Sorry. Okay. Well,"
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"when she comes back we'll do it again."
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"Hello? What about the birthday boy?"
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"Oh, that sucks! Great."
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"Wow, that's good timing."
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"Sorry, that's terrible. Terrible news."
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"We should probably head back. Yeah, okay."
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"Oh, I dare you to make an announcement."
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"Just quit stalling."
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"Luke, this is your father."
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"Jim Halpert, price check on fabric softener."
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"That is not a toy. Oh, I'm sorry."
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"Sorry."
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