Loading...

You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from NewsRadio - Rat Funeral (S02E02)

we will all say nice things about you.

"we will all say nice things about you."

NewsRadio

Then we'll all help Dave load you

"Then we'll all help Dave load you"

NewsRadio

That's great!

"That's great!"

NewsRadio

We totally believe you.

"We totally believe you."

NewsRadio

Don't blow us off, Dave.

"Don't blow us off, Dave."

NewsRadio

I won't. I'm coming. Just go on.

"I won't. I'm coming. Just go on."

NewsRadio

[SIGHS]

"[SIGHS]"

NewsRadio

I know, I know, but...

"I know, I know, but..."

NewsRadio

You know, someday he will be, and...

"You know, someday he will be, and..."

NewsRadio

Oh, I see.

"Oh, I see."

NewsRadio

You know, the poet John Keats

"You know, the poet John Keats"

NewsRadio

died of tuberculosis at the age of 29.

"died of tuberculosis at the age of 29."

NewsRadio

he penned the line:

"he penned the line:"

NewsRadio

Who cares? You can buy them anywhere!

"Who cares? You can buy them anywhere!"

NewsRadio

And this is the incinerator.

"And this is the incinerator."

NewsRadio

I'm gonna get out of your way now.

"I'm gonna get out of your way now."

NewsRadio

Is that necessary? I don't think we have roaches.

"Is that necessary? I don't think we have roaches."

NewsRadio

Maybe not yet.

"Maybe not yet."

NewsRadio

But I just finished spraying upstairs on 15 and 16.

"But I just finished spraying upstairs on 15 and 16."

NewsRadio

They'll be on their way pretty soon.

"They'll be on their way pretty soon."

NewsRadio

Very funny.

"Very funny."

NewsRadio

Oh, I also had to reset all your rat traps.

"Oh, I also had to reset all your rat traps."

NewsRadio

Somebody around here has been tripping them off.

"Somebody around here has been tripping them off."

NewsRadio

Rat lovers. Come again?

"Rat lovers. Come again?"

NewsRadio

They look like you and me,

"They look like you and me,"

NewsRadio

these rat lovers of which you speak,

"these rat lovers of which you speak,"

NewsRadio

Ow.

"Ow."

NewsRadio

Something wrong, Matthew?

"Something wrong, Matthew?"

NewsRadio

Oh.

"Oh."

NewsRadio

No. Everything's hunky-dory.

"No. Everything's hunky-dory."

NewsRadio

Ow? Ow.

"Ow? Ow."

NewsRadio

Oh. Yeah, I was just practicing my cockney accent.

"Oh. Yeah, I was just practicing my cockney accent."

NewsRadio

You know, "'Ow you doin', guv?"

"You know, "'Ow you doin', guv?""

NewsRadio

'Ow ya doin', guvnor...

"'Ow ya doin', guvnor..."

NewsRadio

Could I have everyone's attention, please?

"Could I have everyone's attention, please?"

NewsRadio

I have to make an announcement.

"I have to make an announcement."

NewsRadio

It has come to my attention that some of you

"It has come to my attention that some of you"

NewsRadio

why you'd do such a thing, but please cut it out.

"why you'd do such a thing, but please cut it out."

NewsRadio

Uh, yeah, Dave.

"Uh, yeah, Dave."

NewsRadio

You'd rather catch them by hand?

"You'd rather catch them by hand?"

NewsRadio

Well, that's just silly.

"Well, that's just silly."

NewsRadio

Please do.

"Please do."

NewsRadio

Dave, there's only one rat.

"Dave, there's only one rat."

NewsRadio

Yeah. And he's really, really nice.

"Yeah. And he's really, really nice."

NewsRadio

What are you talking about?

"What are you talking about?"

NewsRadio

He's all white except one, like, black racing stripe

"He's all white except one, like, black racing stripe"

NewsRadio

down the side of his body.

"down the side of his body."

NewsRadio

But he is a rat, right?

"But he is a rat, right?"

NewsRadio

Doesn't anyone find that disgusting?

"Doesn't anyone find that disgusting?"

NewsRadio

Oh, he's cute, Dave.

"Oh, he's cute, Dave."

NewsRadio

Sometimes we feed him potato chips.

"Sometimes we feed him potato chips."

NewsRadio

Yeah.

"Yeah."

NewsRadio

BOTH: And Fig Newtons.

"BOTH: And Fig Newtons."

NewsRadio

And little beans, dried beans.

"And little beans, dried beans."

NewsRadio

a little thing called the Black Plague?

"a little thing called the Black Plague?"

NewsRadio

I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to let the traps do their job.

"I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to let the traps do their job."

NewsRadio

Dave, you can't do that.

"Dave, you can't do that."

NewsRadio

Say, Dave,

"Say, Dave,"

NewsRadio

maybe after work

"maybe after work"

NewsRadio

Uh, yes, Bill.

"Uh, yes, Bill."

NewsRadio

Look...

"Look..."

NewsRadio

is there something I'm missing

"is there something I'm missing"

NewsRadio

about this whole rat thing?

"about this whole rat thing?"

NewsRadio

You've got a group of people here who work 16 hours a day.

"You've got a group of people here who work 16 hours a day."

NewsRadio

They're far from their families.

"They're far from their families."

NewsRadio

The women are childless,

"The women are childless,"

NewsRadio

I understand that everyone works very hard--

"I understand that everyone works very hard--"

NewsRadio

It's not just that.

"It's not just that."

NewsRadio

You're not in Wisconsin, Dave.

"You're not in Wisconsin, Dave."

NewsRadio

The big story isn't about a cow

"The big story isn't about a cow"

NewsRadio

Bill, can we forget about the cow for a second?

"Bill, can we forget about the cow for a second?"

NewsRadio

To you, he's just a rat,

"To you, he's just a rat,"

NewsRadio

he's a member of the family.

"he's a member of the family."

NewsRadio

I'm sorry, but not my family.

"I'm sorry, but not my family."

NewsRadio

Exactly.

"Exactly."

NewsRadio

to be a member of our family.

"to be a member of our family."

NewsRadio

I can't imagine that being a high priority

"I can't imagine that being a high priority"

NewsRadio

to a man without a heart.

"to a man without a heart."

NewsRadio

I've got plenty of heart.

"I've got plenty of heart."

NewsRadio

Said the Tin Man to the Wizard.

"Said the Tin Man to the Wizard."

NewsRadio

By the way, I checked the box on my driver's license.

"By the way, I checked the box on my driver's license."

NewsRadio

If anything should ever happen to me,

"If anything should ever happen to me,"

NewsRadio

and I've taken into account your feelings for the rat.

"and I've taken into account your feelings for the rat."

NewsRadio

And I've decided to take up the rat traps.

"And I've decided to take up the rat traps."

NewsRadio

[SNAP]

"[SNAP]"

NewsRadio

Well, I wish I could say it's the thought that counts.

"Well, I wish I could say it's the thought that counts."

NewsRadio

Lisa, would you mind helping me--?

"Lisa, would you mind helping me--?"

NewsRadio

JOE: That's Mike, all right.

"JOE: That's Mike, all right."

NewsRadio

Missing most of his tail,

"Missing most of his tail,"

NewsRadio

Now he's got this really weird,

"Now he's got this really weird,"

NewsRadio

surprised look on his face.

"surprised look on his face."

NewsRadio

I'm glad I didn't miss your big announcement.

"I'm glad I didn't miss your big announcement."

NewsRadio

I guess it's back to business as usual for you.

"I guess it's back to business as usual for you."

NewsRadio

Look, Bill, I feel bad, all right? I feel terrible.

"Look, Bill, I feel bad, all right? I feel terrible."

NewsRadio

For you, this was like stepping on a bug,

"For you, this was like stepping on a bug,"

NewsRadio

and was a rat rather than a bug.

"and was a rat rather than a bug."

NewsRadio

I mean, what can I do?

"I mean, what can I do?"

NewsRadio

Also, you didn't step on it.

"Also, you didn't step on it."

NewsRadio

By the way, no offense,

"By the way, no offense,"

NewsRadio

I guess I'll just throw it in a dumpster on the way home.

"I guess I'll just throw it in a dumpster on the way home."

NewsRadio

Oh, come on, Bill.

"Oh, come on, Bill."

NewsRadio

I think I probably feel worse about this than anyone.

"I think I probably feel worse about this than anyone."

NewsRadio

I'll take this.

"I'll take this."

NewsRadio

This is so stupid.

"This is so stupid."

NewsRadio

Well, no one's forcing you to be here, Joe.

"Well, no one's forcing you to be here, Joe."

NewsRadio

Maybe can we just try to speed it up?

"Maybe can we just try to speed it up?"

NewsRadio

I have to finish that Newt Gingrich piece.

"I have to finish that Newt Gingrich piece."

NewsRadio

Beth, the box, please?

"Beth, the box, please?"

NewsRadio

Hey, what are you guys doing?

"Hey, what are you guys doing?"

NewsRadio

Taking 30 seconds away from work

"Taking 30 seconds away from work"

NewsRadio

to do deal with our grief.

"to do deal with our grief."

NewsRadio

You can dock our pay if you see fit.

"You can dock our pay if you see fit."

NewsRadio

if that's all right with everyone.

"if that's all right with everyone."

NewsRadio

Whatever.

"Whatever."

NewsRadio

Uh...

"Uh..."

NewsRadio

I guess we're all here

"I guess we're all here"

NewsRadio

who, uh, who we'll all miss, I, I imagine,

"who, uh, who we'll all miss, I, I imagine,"

NewsRadio

and I didn't have much time to think of anything.

"and I didn't have much time to think of anything."

NewsRadio

You're putting me on the spot.

"You're putting me on the spot."

NewsRadio

LISA: Just a few words. Okay. Mike was a rat.

"LISA: Just a few words. Okay. Mike was a rat."

NewsRadio

Show more clips