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Clips from Seinfeld - The Pledge Drive (S06E06)

"You know what I'm doing?"
Seinfeld
"- I'm calling Noreen. - Go ahead."
Seinfeld
"- You mean likelike? - What are you talking about?"
Seinfeld
"Noreen's not here."
Seinfeld
"So was I right? She likes me, right?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Pitt."
Seinfeld
"- Hello. - Elaine, what is going on?"
Seinfeld
"Why did you tell Dan I was hitting on Jerry Seinfeld?"
Seinfeld
"Well, listen, Jerry mentioned it, and I didn't believe-"
Seinfeld
"Noreen, are you crying?"
Seinfeld
"No, this is Dan."
Seinfeld
"- Hi, Dan. - Elaine?"
Seinfeld
"Tell Noreen I'll just call her back later."
Seinfeld
"Who was crying?"
Seinfeld
"...and I want to know who it was."
Seinfeld
"Well, it's a long story, okay?"
Seinfeld
"But my stupid friend Jerry told my other friend Noreen..."
Seinfeld
"...that she was..."
Seinfeld
"And so I called her to see what was going on..."
Seinfeld
"...you know..."
Seinfeld
"...but there's no joking about the financial crisis at PBS."
Seinfeld
"Call in your pledge now."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, I am so grateful that you're doing this."
Seinfeld
"- You got the card I sent? - I did."
Seinfeld
"- So where is it? - What?"
Seinfeld
"The card."
Seinfeld
"Is this it in the trash?"
Seinfeld
"This is my card. You threw it away."
Seinfeld
"You signed your name and you addressed the envelope."
Seinfeld
"Oh, fine."
Seinfeld
"I gotta get back to the office."
Seinfeld
"Why, because I threw the card out? How long was I supposed to save it?"
Seinfeld
"You have no sentimentality."
Seinfeld
"I have sentimentality. Really. I'm sentimental."
Seinfeld
"Here, look. Here's some cards I've saved."
Seinfeld
"- I'm not a bad guy. - So you save her cards but not mine."
Seinfeld
"Oh, great!"
Seinfeld
"Well, but you see, I saved something. See?"
Seinfeld
"I can save."
Seinfeld
"Well, new cards, huh?"
Seinfeld
"No. They're old cards from my grandmother."
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- A check. - Yeah, she puts $10..."
Seinfeld
"...in every birthday card. That's why I save them."
Seinfeld
"There's a check in all these? Why don't you cash them?"
Seinfeld
"I don't know. It's $10."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, but you got a whole pile here. Look at this, 1987."
Seinfeld
"This is tantamount to a slap in the face."
Seinfeld
"...a gift not enjoyed is like a flower that doesn't blossom."
Seinfeld
"All right. All right. I'll cash the checks."
Seinfeld
"I mean, how long am I supposed to keep it?"
Seinfeld
"The rule's a minimum of two days."
Seinfeld
"You making that up, or you know?"
Seinfeld
"I'm making it up."
Seinfeld
"I could see if I had a mantel."
Seinfeld
"- Absolutely. - If my parents had a mantel..."
Seinfeld
"...I might be a completely different person."
Seinfeld
"- Let's have it. - Well, I'm doing the PBS drive."
Seinfeld
"So I thought if I could get a baseball player..."
Seinfeld
"...to come on the show with me..."
Seinfeld
"- You want me to ask a Yankee. - Could you?"
Seinfeld
"All right."
Seinfeld
"...where you lie to everyone."
Seinfeld
"I should never have made that phone call."
Seinfeld
"- Did you ever get to talk to Noreen? - Yes. She's very upset."
Seinfeld
"So was I right about the flirting? Was it true?"
Seinfeld
"I don't know. I never asked. She was yelling-"
Seinfeld
"Asked me where the humour section was."
Seinfeld
"All right. So maybe she wasn't flirting with me. So what?"
Seinfeld
"Hey, you wanna hear something weird?"
Seinfeld
"...eats his Snickers bars..."
Seinfeld
"...with a knife and fork."
Seinfeld
"- Really? - Yes."
Seinfeld
"Why does he do that?"
Seinfeld
"He probably doesn't wanna get chocolate on his fingers."
Seinfeld
"That's the way these society types eat their candy bars."
Seinfeld
"Oh, you know."
Seinfeld
"What, you think I eat all my meals with you?"
Seinfeld
"Excuse me. Sweetheart?"
Seinfeld
"I think you may have overcharged us."
Seinfeld
"Did you just see what happened here?"
Seinfeld
"What?"
Seinfeld
"She gave me the finger."
Seinfeld
"That's how waitress types express derision."
Seinfeld
"They don't wanna get their mouths dirty."
Seinfeld
"PBS fundraiser?"
Seinfeld
"I'm not gonna waste the players' time."
Seinfeld
"Besides, the team already does so much promotion for Channel 11."
Seinfeld
"Channel 11."
Seinfeld
"For trying to have the Yankees reach another strata of society..."
Seinfeld
"How do you eat it, with your hands?"
Seinfeld
"You know, maybe George has something here about PBS."
Seinfeld
"Okay, 60 bucks from Nana."
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Chemical Bank?"
Seinfeld
"I haven't used that account in months."
Seinfeld
"Oh, dear."
Seinfeld
"You got Danny Tartabull?"
Seinfeld
"You really came through. Kristin's gonna be thrilled."
Seinfeld
"So you're bringing Danny Tartabull to the fundraiser tonight."
Seinfeld
"Absolutely."
Seinfeld
"- Excuse me? - Jerry, I'm Yankee management."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, I'd like to see the script too. - You're just answering phones!"
Seinfeld
"I wanna see what finger she uses."
Seinfeld
"You'll get it. Comes with your breakfast special."
Seinfeld
"Right you are."
Seinfeld
"I'll check."
Seinfeld
"I don't believe it. She did it again!"
Seinfeld
"Oh, she had an itch."
Seinfeld
"Had an itch. She could have used any finger."
Seinfeld
"That finger was meant for me."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. She knew what she was doing."
Seinfeld
"By the way, lunch is on me."
Seinfeld
"Looking for something, lady?"
Seinfeld
"The bank. It burned."
Seinfeld
"It's gone."
Seinfeld
"Ask for Mr. Fleming. He'll help you."
Seinfeld
"- Hello. - Jerry, helo."
Seinfeld
"- Uncle Leo. - Listen, I don't wanna alarm you..."
Seinfeld
"Nana's missing?"
Seinfeld
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