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Clips from Please Like Me - All You Can Eat (S01E01)

do you mean you're deciding if you're gonna have an abortion?

"do you mean you're deciding if you're gonna have an abortion?"

Please Like Me

- Josh? - I've made you a sandwich.

"- Josh? - I've made you a sandwich."

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- What? - I need you.

"- What? - I need you."

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Oh, but we broke up.

"Oh, but we broke up."

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Oh, no, come on. Show me the photos.

"Oh, no, come on. Show me the photos."

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Apparently if you're old,

"Apparently if you're old,"

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But I didn't do it. I didn't know you could, otherwise I probably would have.

"But I didn't do it. I didn't know you could, otherwise I probably would have."

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Hey, um, just wondering when you're coming over today.

"Hey, um, just wondering when you're coming over today."

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not fish and chips, and then a walk along the beach.

"not fish and chips, and then a walk along the beach."

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- Yeah. - Ok.

"- Yeah. - Ok."

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Are you racist?

"Are you racist?"

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This guy is "just an honest bloke who likes a laugh."

"This guy is "just an honest bloke who likes a laugh.""

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I'm doing my test this afternoon.

"I'm doing my test this afternoon."

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But you dobbed me in to the cops, though, didn't you?

"But you dobbed me in to the cops, though, didn't you?"

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I was just trying to be nice.

"I was just trying to be nice."

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I'm at home, so give me a call.

"I'm at home, so give me a call."

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But then I'd have to see you there, once I get there.

"But then I'd have to see you there, once I get there."

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- You'd want to hang out? - Yeah.

"- You'd want to hang out? - Yeah."

Please Like Me

"_"

Please Like Me

Probably where it comes from.

"Probably where it comes from."

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I'm not your aunty. I never was.

"I'm not your aunty. I never was."

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♪ 5, 6, 7, 8 ♪

"♪ 5, 6, 7, 8 ♪"

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You used to love it when Uncle Walter did this.

"You used to love it when Uncle Walter did this."

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I don't love Steps!

"I don't love Steps!"

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Really? Aren't you just a bit terrified?

"Really? Aren't you just a bit terrified?"

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Yeah, of course I'm terrified. So, what should I do now?

"Yeah, of course I'm terrified. So, what should I do now?"

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- Yeah. - Is that alright?

"- Yeah. - Is that alright?"

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"_"

Please Like Me

Ok, I was just looking at this...

"Ok, I was just looking at this..."

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"_"

Please Like Me

He has nothing to do with this!

"He has nothing to do with this!"

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Oh, it's fine. Nice scarf.

"Oh, it's fine. Nice scarf."

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Nuh. No, I don't feel right about it.

"Nuh. No, I don't feel right about it."

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- Doing what? - I don't know.

"- Doing what? - I don't know."

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What are you doing there on your laptop?

"What are you doing there on your laptop?"

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- Oh, we don't need to call Claire. - Yes, we do. We always call Claire.

"- Oh, we don't need to call Claire. - Yes, we do. We always call Claire."

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Hey. We're thinking about going out. To bars.

"Hey. We're thinking about going out. To bars."

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Ok. We'll wear a costume too.

"Ok. We'll wear a costume too."

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so that she's less embarrassed.

"so that she's less embarrassed."

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Yep. Suck my dick, bitch!

"Yep. Suck my dick, bitch!"

Please Like Me

You just spent 20 minutes

"You just spent 20 minutes"

Please Like Me

- Tom, I'm not going to suck your penis. - I don't want you to suck my penis!

"- Tom, I'm not going to suck your penis. - I don't want you to suck my penis!"

Please Like Me

Ah. It's still nice of you both to dress up for me.

"Ah. It's still nice of you both to dress up for me."

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He wants me to be his bitch. So...

"He wants me to be his bitch. So..."

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Yeah.

"Yeah."

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But he's so nice, Josh.

"But he's so nice, Josh."

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The muscles just... they just made me feel horrible.

"The muscles just... they just made me feel horrible."

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Yeah, I can see! Why don't you just call him? Poor guy.

"Yeah, I can see! Why don't you just call him? Poor guy."

Please Like Me

♪ My rodeo Romeo ♪

"♪ My rodeo Romeo ♪"

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- Incredible. - He sounds like the best.

"- Incredible. - He sounds like the best."

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Yeah. The best!

"Yeah. The best!"

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Yeah. Yeah, they're over there.

"Yeah. Yeah, they're over there."

Please Like Me

Ok.

"Ok."

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where I ask you your opinions about world issues.

"where I ask you your opinions about world issues."

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It's just like "The Notebook".

"It's just like "The Notebook"."

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Invite me home?

"Invite me home?"

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I mean, I really want to, but...

"I mean, I really want to, but..."

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It's just the rain.

"It's just the rain."

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Peg.

"Peg."

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I broke up with Geoffrey.

"I broke up with Geoffrey."

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What? Why?

"What? Why?"

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- He keeps saying how much he likes me. - What a dick!

"- He keeps saying how much he likes me. - What a dick!"

Please Like Me

No, you don't understand. It's all the time.

"No, you don't understand. It's all the time."

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Constantly, just constantly all the time how much he likes me.

"Constantly, just constantly all the time how much he likes me."

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Then I have to say nice things and I never can, and I think it's because...

"Then I have to say nice things and I never can, and I think it's because..."

Please Like Me

I think I don't really like him, you know? I think I just...

"I think I don't really like him, you know? I think I just..."

Please Like Me

I'm grateful that he has so many muscles and he's willing to kiss me.

"I'm grateful that he has so many muscles and he's willing to kiss me."

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Niamh's coming over today to talk about the baby.

"Niamh's coming over today to talk about the baby."

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About what we're gonna do.

"About what we're gonna do."

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Oh, shit, I think he's coming.

"Oh, shit, I think he's coming."

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What, he's still there?

"What, he's still there?"

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Yeah. He went to the bathroom to cry.

"Yeah. He went to the bathroom to cry."

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I feel horrible that we wasted this conversation

"I feel horrible that we wasted this conversation"

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on my less important problems.

"on my less important problems."

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Do you feel at all horrible that you didn't wait for him to leave before you called?

"Do you feel at all horrible that you didn't wait for him to leave before you called?"

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- Yeah, I guess so. - Oh, man, that's fucked.

"- Yeah, I guess so. - Oh, man, that's fucked."

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But I've really gotta go. I've gotta go.

"But I've really gotta go. I've gotta go."

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You ok?

"You ok?"

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I don't even want to waste energy talking to you about it.

"I don't even want to waste energy talking to you about it."

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I've decided to do internet dating.

"I've decided to do internet dating."

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"- Ok. - And I need a photo for the profile thing."

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- What? - Come on.

"- What? - Come on."

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- Why are you looking at me like that? - Come on!

"- Why are you looking at me like that? - Come on!"

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- I really need you and I love you. - Ok, fine. Yes, fine.

"- I really need you and I love you. - Ok, fine. Yes, fine."

Please Like Me

Good!

"Good!"

Please Like Me

Ah, maybe you could try smiling.

"Ah, maybe you could try smiling."

Please Like Me

So when did you start being gay?

"So when did you start being gay?"

Please Like Me

Oh, what? No, I don't...

"Oh, what? No, I don't..."

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- I don't know. - Did you just realise, or what?

"- I don't know. - Did you just realise, or what?"

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No, I had an idea, you know?

"No, I had an idea, you know?"

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I just sort of hoped it was a phase.

"I just sort of hoped it was a phase."

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- Geoffrey. - Oh, he's so lovely, Josh.

"- Geoffrey. - Oh, he's so lovely, Josh."

Please Like Me

- Oh. You ok? - Yeah.

"- Oh. You ok? - Yeah."

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You know, I broke up with him, so I'm the winner.

"You know, I broke up with him, so I'm the winner."

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I can't stand this. Show it to me. Show it to me.

"I can't stand this. Show it to me. Show it to me."

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Oh!

"Oh!"

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Oh, Josh, they're awful! Oh, they're so awful!

"Oh, Josh, they're awful! Oh, they're so awful!"

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Nuh. I think I should get more of my boobs out.

"Nuh. I think I should get more of my boobs out."

Please Like Me

- Really? - You think I should get more out?

"- Really? - You think I should get more out?"

Please Like Me

- Come on, take a photo of my boobs. - Yes, 'cause boys kind of like that.

"- Come on, take a photo of my boobs. - Yes, 'cause boys kind of like that."

Please Like Me

Yeah, take the boobs.

"Yeah, take the boobs."

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- Oh, no. - No, don't be silly.

"- Oh, no. - No, don't be silly."

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- Is that better? - Nuh.

"- Is that better? - Nuh."

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Josh, take it with... Josh!

"Josh, take it with... Josh!"

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Josh, don't be silly!

"Josh, don't be silly!"

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Who did this?

"Who did this?"

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I have been reported to VicRoads for dangerous driving.

"I have been reported to VicRoads for dangerous driving."

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people can just spy on you and dob you in to the authorities

"people can just spy on you and dob you in to the authorities"

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and you're punished for it.

"and you're punished for it."

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Old people get penalised and have to redo their test.

"Old people get penalised and have to redo their test."

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You're not old, are you? Are you old?

"You're not old, are you? Are you old?"

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You don't look a day over 12.

"You don't look a day over 12."

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- Did you do this? - No, I didn't do it.

"- Did you do this? - No, I didn't do it."

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But you think I'm a bad driver.

"But you think I'm a bad driver."

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I think you're the worst. I think you are just the worst.

"I think you're the worst. I think you are just the worst."

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Rose did it.

"Rose did it."

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Mum doesn't have the confidence to make calls to strangers.

"Mum doesn't have the confidence to make calls to strangers."

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Josh! Josh!

"Josh! Josh!"

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Yeah?

"Yeah?"

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Oh, I can't figure out how to put the picture on here.

"Oh, I can't figure out how to put the picture on here."

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