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Clips from Seinfeld - The Butter Shave (S09E09)

"Because I killed first and warmed up the crowd."
Seinfeld
"He's like that fish that attaches himself to the shark."
Seinfeld
"-And you're the shark? -Yeah. I'm the shark."
Seinfeld
"And he's the fish eating my laughs."
Seinfeld
"We're not doing that anymore."
Seinfeld
"-Oh, my God. -What?"
Seinfeld
"-So, what's this job? -Oh, it's beautiful. It's in sports."
Seinfeld
"-Knicks? Rangers? -Playground equipment."
Seinfeld
"I gotta hobble."
Seinfeld
"I gotta switch shaving creams. I'm getting no protection."
Seinfeld
"Don't tell me she's dragging another poor guy across Europe."
Seinfeld
"...a 20 kroner. No, wait."
Seinfeld
"Femti kroner."
Seinfeld
"We have to break up."
Seinfeld
"-What? -I can't take this anymore."
Seinfeld
"I don't wanna hear how interesting the change with the hole in it is."
Seinfeld
"And tell me what time it is in New York, you are going home in a body bag."
Seinfeld
"Well, what do you think the Gap in Rome has that's not on Broadway?"
Seinfeld
"Okay, all right, listen."
Seinfeld
"Forget about the Gap because we are through."
Seinfeld
"-Fine. -Fine."
Seinfeld
"Okay, Terminal 3. Have a nice flight."
Seinfeld
"...will be approximately 22 hours."
Seinfeld
"Hey. You gonna bust out that drink cart or what?"
Seinfeld
"Hey, what are you doing?"
Seinfeld
"I read on the lnternet he killed."
Seinfeld
"He killed."
Seinfeld
"-Wait, wait, wait a minute. -What? What? What?"
Seinfeld
"Anything else, Mr. Nosy?"
Seinfeld
"Why are you buttering your face?"
Seinfeld
"...and the natural emollients keep my skin silky smooth."
Seinfeld
"-Feel my face. -No."
Seinfeld
"-No, feel it. -I don't want to."
Seinfeld
"Feel it."
Seinfeld
"That is close."
Seinfeld
"I got the job?"
Seinfeld
"George, everybody here at Play Now is just very impressed with you..."
Seinfeld
"...but I'm sure you've heard that before."
Seinfeld
"...no."
Seinfeld
"Don't think anyone's gonna treat you differently..."
Seinfeld
"...just because of your...."
Seinfeld
"Handicap."
Seinfeld
"Differently...."
Seinfeld
"Advantaged."
Seinfeld
"See, I didn't mean that."
Seinfeld
"When do I start?"
Seinfeld
"You need a hand here?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, what the hell."
Seinfeld
"-You got the job? -Jerry, it's fantastic."
Seinfeld
"I love the people. They treat me so great."
Seinfeld
"They gave me this incredible office, a great view."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, because of the cane."
Seinfeld
"How can you do this?"
Seinfeld
"There was a guy that worked at the Yankees, no arms."
Seinfeld
"He got more work done than I did. Made more money."
Seinfeld
"He had a wife, a family."
Seinfeld
"He drove a car with no arms?"
Seinfeld
"And he hated me anyway."
Seinfeld
"Do you know how hard it's getting just to tell people I know you?"
Seinfeld
"It's got that high toilet."
Seinfeld
"I feel like a gargoyle perched on the ledge of a building."
Seinfeld
"Hey. They hooked me up."
Seinfeld
"I'm shaving with it. And you know what?"
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God. It's Bania and Jenna."
Seinfeld
"-Who? -The toothbrush in the toilet bowl."
Seinfeld
"Pretty good-looking, huh?"
Seinfeld
"Jerry is the guy that I dated right before you."
Seinfeld
"This is awkward."
Seinfeld
"-I don't believe this. -You miss her, don't you?"
Seinfeld
"No. He's riding my coattails again. He's getting everything off of me."
Seinfeld
"First laughs. Now ladies."
Seinfeld
"You know, I think, ultimately, I'm upset with myself."
Seinfeld
"I knew what I was getting into. She's a bitter, unstable person."
Seinfeld
"I mean, the sex was good."
Seinfeld
"...but I need more."
Seinfeld
"Hey, you believing this?"
Seinfeld
"Well, you missed quite a performance."
Seinfeld
"That's my apple juice."
Seinfeld
"Hello, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"You know, old friend..."
Seinfeld
"...sometimes I ponder this silly gulf between us..."
Seinfeld
"Are we really so different?"
Seinfeld
"Damn you, Seinfeld."
Seinfeld
"Somebody's got something on the griddle. Maybe it's Kramer."
Seinfeld
"No, he's up on the roof getting some sun with the butter."
Seinfeld
"Oh, no."
Seinfeld
"This is the femti kroner."
Seinfeld
"You know, my last boyfriend, he had a real kroner comprehension problem."
Seinfeld
"What are you doing?"
Seinfeld
"It's a long flight. I had to get on with my life."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, that's right."
Seinfeld
"...Vegetable Lasagna?"
Seinfeld
"She doesn't either. If it were up to me, we'd still be together."
Seinfeld
"-Okay. So now what? -Let's make out."
Seinfeld
"-Kramer. -What?"
Seinfeld
"I think I cooked myself."
Seinfeld
"Look at your skin."
Seinfeld
"Oh, stick a fork in me, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"I'm done."
Seinfeld
"I'm fried."
Seinfeld
"Well, I just gotta keep my skin moist so I don't dry out."
Seinfeld
"-Game hen? -Kind of."
Seinfeld
"Nice limp. You bringing your work home with you?"
Seinfeld
"No, I fake limp on my right."
Seinfeld
"This is a real limp because I sprained my ankle."
Seinfeld
"What happened?"
Seinfeld
"I must have dripped some on the floor and I slipped and--"
Seinfeld
"Hello?"
Seinfeld
"What?"
Seinfeld
"No, no, no!"
Seinfeld
"They've added Bania to the showcase and he's going on right after me."
Seinfeld
"Why do dogs drink out of the toilet?"
Seinfeld
"You think that's funny?"
Seinfeld
"I don't know. I like stuff you don't have to think about much."
Seinfeld
"You like Bania's act."
Seinfeld
"-Maybe I am. -Oh, I'm gonna puke."
Seinfeld
"Puke? That's a funny word. Puke."
Seinfeld
"Puke."
Seinfeld
"I can't believe we broke up like that."
Seinfeld
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