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Clips from Veep - Baseball (S01E01)

"DAN: The whole Chick-fiI-A narrative is just..."
Veep
"My bladder was like a fucking blimp."
Veep
"You should maybe talk some more to the food manufacturing guys"
Veep
"and the health advisors."
Veep
"just make me eat like a vegan for a fucking week."
Veep
"You know what, Amy?"
Veep
"I'm the Veep I never wanted to be."
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"You should really just go and..."
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"This smells like the inside of a taxi cab."
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"Not too much longer, we'll get the group shot taken"
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"Yeah, I'm leaving a little bit earlier."
Veep
"In catering?"
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"One of those guys."
Veep
"Turn that frown... (CLICKS TONGUE)"
Veep
"and not Penthouse."
Veep
"Hey, can I talk to you privately just for a second?"
Veep
"Okay."
Veep
"So you know that I've been seeing Ted, right?"
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"I could probably have unprotected sex with 30 men,"
Veep
"I'm not doubting your fertility, ma'am."
Veep
"But an unwed mother one aneurism away from the presidency?"
Veep
"and then there are 60 separate pockets within the area."
Veep
"Try me."
Veep
"Scented."
Veep
"-Bam! -Wow!"
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"I hope I'm not pregnant, because, fuck, if I am, I'm just finished, you know?"
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"-(SELINA CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) -Huh."
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"-I mean Ted. -Oh, shit. No."
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"Why would I need a 1D to shoot this?"
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"-l have a 1D. -Huh."
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"Grande skinny latte, extra shot, and a dash of cinnamon?"
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"Photos with the nutritionists, hang with the players, over to the school,"
Veep
"-then we pregnancy test you to fuck. -Okay."
Veep
"Absolutely. I'm heading there right now."
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"-Thank you. They're very helpful. -Oh, good."
Veep
"I'm glad you're right on top of that. I can see you, Mike."
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"-This is awesome! -You know what, Mike?"
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"and you're gonna find your lungs have turned to pastry."
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"-Mike. -Amy, what’s up?"
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"'Cause if it is, the best thing for her legacy"
Veep
"Yeah, I can get you one."
Veep
"Are you pregnant?"
Veep
"KEN: Yes, how about one where we say Let's get moving?"
Veep
"-Awesome avocado! -Awesome avocado!"
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"-Thank you so much for being here. -Ma'am."
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"-It sure... Yes? Yes? -MAN: Gentlemen."
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"-Isn't that right? -Well, the children are waiting. Right this way."
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"My name is Dan. This is Amy."
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"Yeah, my man right here."
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"My dad works in State Department."
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"These kids are gonna go berserk if they have to wait that long."
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"-(SIGHS) -We have to keep them entertained."
Veep
"Lion King DVD and two shots of Ritalin."
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"I'd like to free that boy from the prison of obesity."
Veep
"Uh, I believe he was reassigned because of his cologne."
Veep
"Okay, every which way but douche,"
Veep
"I want you to answer my question now."
Veep
"Mike, Mike, I wouldn't be smiling. You might lose your job."
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"You're calling the Vice President repugnant?"
Veep
"That's a very emotive term, sir, and a little prissy, I might add."
Veep
"and give you another kind of red eye to worry about."
Veep
"I overhear stuff as I move around. Plus, I can lip read."
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"Yes, I can tell what you're saying now."
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"-No. -Oh, that's too bad. It was all good."
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"Amy, what the hell is going on over there? Are you listening?"
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"Yes, yes. Story. What..."
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"The pen cap. Where was the pen... In your mouth? Did you put it in your mouth?"
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"It's out there. They're saying she's repugnant."
Veep
"Oh, my God."
Veep
"Holy f...uck."
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"Okay, I'm going because Gary's calling."
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"I've only got one, so you need to get as many as you can find, okay?"
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"I don't blame you. That's gonna be a long labor."
Veep
"Well, we have to stay within the stadium,"
Veep
"but we could invite the guys down to meet the Orioles players."
Veep
"Okay. That's exactly what we're gonna do."
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"-Oh, you know about baseball? -I do,yeah."
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"-Yeah, I'll be the adult version of Gary. -Okay."
Veep
"SELINA: Jonah, can you see me?"
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"They don ’t pitch on the same day..."
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"Hello! Hi!"
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"GARY: Hello, Dad. I'm still at the stadium. Yeah, yeah."
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"Boom shaka laka."
Veep
"Are these all the pregnancy tests you have?"
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"-How long has she been pregnant? -Oh, God, I don't know."
Veep
"Isn't this nice how the lettering works on these... On these tops?"
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"I’m sorry to have to be so blunt about it, but I don ’t have a lot of time."
Veep
"Guys, can I have five minutes?"
Veep
"All right, you over that bombshell?"
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"And the plan is that we got engaged, like, six weeks ago or something, all right?"
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"Anyway, listen, you've gotta get me a ring. You've gotta go, you've gotta get a ring now."
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"You're fucking kidding."
Veep
"(MOUTHING)"
Veep
"-Yes. Yes. -Amy, no."
Veep
"No, we're finding you a guitar."
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"-Leon. -Go away. Why are you here?"
Veep
"I actually have a story I'd like to discuss with the Veep."
Veep
"Sonnez les matines Sonnez les matines"
Veep
"(SIREN WAILING)"
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"No, no, no, he didn't really. We're just gonna pretend that he did."
Veep
"and let's find a date where this would have happened."
Veep
"Okay. Ah. Two months ago,"
Veep
"Okay? Thank you very much."
Veep
"I just love that."
Veep
"-Yay! -Yay!"
Veep
"It's a pleasure to meet you. The children are waiting and ready for you."
Veep
"So what do you think?"
Veep
"Is she really pregnant?"
Veep
"-You're a woman. -What?"
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"-Hey, Ken. How's it going? -Good."
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"Hey, I missed that photo with the Orioles."
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"Ethically, no."
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"Do it yourself."
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"Awesome. Where is she?"
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"-Bathroom. -Okay."
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"Holy shitballs. Leon West is here?"
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"-Uh-huh. I thought you knew that. -The guy's like gay porn. He's everywhere."
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"Okay, okay, they only had three types of pregnancy tests I could find."
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"Because you said that the pregnancy story is out there,"
Veep
"so we need to make sure right now."
Veep
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