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Clips from American Dad! (2005) - Comedy (S01E01)

"Apparently, Betty Sue was so devastated by losing homecoming queen..."
American Dad! (2005)
"she walked into a Dunkin' Donuts and never came out."
American Dad! (2005)
"So that's whyyou're so pale. This is the first timeyou've come out ofyour house."
American Dad! (2005)
"- No. I'm gay. - What?"
American Dad! (2005)
"My gaydar is totally off."
American Dad! (2005)
"Damn! SkyMall screwed me again!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, Quacky, I think it's fantastic!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Stan, why don'tyou get us some drinks to celebrate?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Okay. But when I go, he has to promise not to stare at my ass or become a schoolteacher!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- I'm a bartender. - Uh-uh! Conversation's up here, sailor."
American Dad! (2005)
"No matter. A car is merely a means oftransporting pizzas."
American Dad! (2005)
"Thankfully the pizzas survived, for they contain the dough oflife."
American Dad! (2005)
"Roger! Mitch, ifyou can't finish your route, won'tyou loseyourjob?"
American Dad! (2005)
"a trust is broken forever."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hey, your folks left Hayley in charge."
American Dad! (2005)
"- What? - What?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Has anyone seen the scuba diver that floats in mein tank?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Gather round, everyone. The reunion committee has dug up the class time capsule."
American Dad! (2005)
"[ Mocking Tone ] "This box is school property!""
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, my gosh! What's this?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Why don'tyou helpyourself to the strawberries I ordered?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Oink, oink, Stan. - [ Gasps ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Guess you still are the loseryou were in high school. You proved nothing to nobody."
American Dad! (2005)
"I feel like I'm 1 8 again."
American Dad! (2005)
"Get off ofthat! That's a queen-size bed. There are no queens here."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Stan, what's the matter? - What's the matter?"
American Dad! (2005)
"You're not the homecoming queen."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm not gonna be the cool guy dancing in the spotlight!"
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm just gonna be the dork by the punch bowl slumming with the Duchess ofSecond Place."
American Dad! (2005)
"You know what, Stan? Ifit's so darn-"
American Dad! (2005)
"If it's so darn important foryou to dance with the homecoming queen..."
American Dad! (2005)
"why don'tyou just go with Betty Sue?"
American Dad! (2005)
"I mean, you're acting like a- Stan?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Someone order a runner-up bed?"
American Dad! (2005)
"I came out ofthe bathroom, and he was just gone."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Excuse me. Coming through. - There he is... with flowers."
American Dad! (2005)
"H.Q.-That's what I call her- H.Q."
American Dad! (2005)
"Awkward? Don't be silly. It was Francine's idea."
American Dad! (2005)
"I was being sarcastic! Or don'tyou get sarcasm, genius?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, I think I get sarcasm."
American Dad! (2005)
"You knowwhat? You two have fun at the dance!"
American Dad! (2005)
"You are, without a doubt, the cruelest..."
American Dad! (2005)
"most disgusting excuse for a human being I have ever met!"
American Dad! (2005)
"One thing delivering pizzas has taught me..."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Steve, why don't you come with me on this one? - [ Gasps ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"[ Rings ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Hey, Donnie Patterson lives here! He's the bully that beats me up!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- So, dipwad's delivering pizzas now. - [ Whimpers ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Now I understand."
American Dad! (2005)
"You give me the wedgies you wish you could giveyour father."
American Dad! (2005)
"So, wait. Luke would be on drums?"
American Dad! (2005)
"and Darth Vader on bass."
American Dad! (2005)
"That would be the greatest concert of all time."
American Dad! (2005)
"Ja,ja,ja,ja. [ Chuckles ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"[Weeping]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, Quacky, I'm fine."
American Dad! (2005)
"Listen, do you have any more Kleenex?"
American Dad! (2005)
"By the bed? Okay."
American Dad! (2005)
"No, no. I won't look in the third drawer."
American Dad! (2005)
"## [Rock]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Stan?"
American Dad! (2005)
"That's because I'm not Peter Gabriel! I'm Gabriel Byrne!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Oh. - [ Screams ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Honey, forgive me. I was wrong. We don't need to go to the dance."
American Dad! (2005)
"The only reunion that's important is ours."
American Dad! (2005)
"Go to dinnerwith me, just the two of us."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, Stan! I'll be right down."
American Dad! (2005)
"- [Opens Drawer] - Oh, good Lord!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Roger that. You are cleared for takeoff."
American Dad! (2005)
"Good work. You're the best C.I.A. double ever."
American Dad! (2005)
"Just keep Francine away from that dance."
American Dad! (2005)
"Let's hit that dance, H.Q."
American Dad! (2005)
"The ladywill start with the nicoise salad, her favorite..."
American Dad! (2005)
"which she discovered herjunioryear abroad."
American Dad! (2005)
"I can't believeyou rememberthat!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Wow! Stan, I'm impressed."
American Dad! (2005)
"and on one brave Saturday night, sexual partner-Jeanie Stone, who-"
American Dad! (2005)
"Okay. Seeyou at dessert."
American Dad! (2005)
"You requested my favorite song?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh! A joke! [ Forced Laughing ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"[ Forced Laughing ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"I mean, the line to get in. Whatyou just said was emotionally devastating."
American Dad! (2005)
"[ Laughing ] I guess itwas. I guess itwas."
American Dad! (2005)
"But nowyou're the queen, and we've got a spotlight to dance under!"
American Dad! (2005)
"I know what it meant 20 years ago."
American Dad! (2005)
"[ Laughing ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"- What a douche bag! - Get a life, loser!"
American Dad! (2005)
"I have an important job, a house with a giant flagpole, a great kid, another kid..."
American Dad! (2005)
"and a beautiful wife who loves me and thinks I'm a winner!"
American Dad! (2005)
"I have a great life! Oh, my God! I have a great life."
American Dad! (2005)
"So what the hell am I doing with this train wreck?"
American Dad! (2005)
"No! I-I mean, I wantyou all to myself."
American Dad! (2005)
"No, Steve. You stay. I'd like Roger to join me on this one."
American Dad! (2005)
"What? No! I-I'm your disciple."
American Dad! (2005)
"You chose me. He doesn't even likeyou."
American Dad! (2005)
"I really don't. On your last delivery, I put a tack on your seat."
American Dad! (2005)
"That was totally life changing!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- He has forsaken me. - [Thunderclap ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"I do not understand. You left 1 5 minutes ago with yourwife."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Oh, crap! Where'd I go? - The dance."
American Dad! (2005)
"The dance? But Betty Sue is there!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- [ Clears Throat ] - You want a tip? Don't wear so much cologne. Ha!"
American Dad! (2005)
"##[Rock]"
American Dad! (2005)
"you can hear the voice of a dead kid."
American Dad! (2005)
"Whoa! Wait, how doyou play Monopoly backwards?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- [Doorbell Rings ] - [Pounding On Door]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Klaus, cool it! You're freaking out!"
American Dad! (2005)
"It's the cops! Quick, flush me down the toilet!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Hayley, let me in!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Do you know what you've done? You got Mitch fired!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Why, Steve, why?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Steve, the truth I offer isn't personal-pan-sized."
American Dad! (2005)
"I bring extra-large wisdom to your door, properly sliced..."
American Dad! (2005)
"that's enough for all mankind."
American Dad! (2005)
"I failed you."
American Dad! (2005)
"And I was canned foryour sins. But I forgiveyou."
American Dad! (2005)
"Wait, Mitch! Don't go!"
American Dad! (2005)
"I needanotherslice oftruth!"
American Dad! (2005)
"## [Dance ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Stan! - Huh! Where?"
American Dad! (2005)
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