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Clips from American Dad! (2005) - Comedy (S01E01)

"Abandoned you? Oh, thank God! He's not here."
American Dad! (2005)
"You're filth! You're a horrible, terrible, horrible person!"
American Dad! (2005)
"You know, you're a very attractive man."
American Dad! (2005)
"Uh, Francine, I can explain."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Okay, bye. - Seeya."
American Dad! (2005)
"No one's gonna stop me? Well, go to hell! I hateyou all!"
American Dad! (2005)
"It's been fun seeing everybody."
American Dad! (2005)
"What the hell is going on here?"
American Dad! (2005)
"This is, uh- This is Bill, my C.I.A. double."
American Dad! (2005)
"Sometimes we need decoys for dangerous missions..."
American Dad! (2005)
"oryour parents' anniversary or Steve's baptism."
American Dad! (2005)
"We took that cooking class together."
American Dad! (2005)
"That is so thoughtful. Come here."
American Dad! (2005)
"Fine with me. I'll just shoot you both."
American Dad! (2005)
"Okay, okay. This has gone on long enough. [ Sighs ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Francine, I've been a fool."
American Dad! (2005)
"not because of some stupid crown."
American Dad! (2005)
"Ow! What the hell, you crazy bitch?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Hey, Bill. Come on. That's mywife, man."
American Dad! (2005)
"Stan, did you really mean whatyou said back there?"
American Dad! (2005)
"You'd better believe it, kiddo!"
American Dad! (2005)
"I don't thinkwe can save the leg!"
American Dad! (2005)
"## [ Continues ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Bye. Have a great time."
American Dad! (2005)
"and we'll have our spotlight dance!"
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm just so damn excited about this high school reunion, Francine."
American Dad! (2005)
"What's your deal, bozo? We're humiliating you."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Then how come you've never mentioned him once? - I mention him all the time."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, my God! Is that Betty Sue?"
American Dad! (2005)
"And speaking of coming out, ta-da!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Sorry my, um, warveteran uncle here blew upyour car."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm sorry. I drifted off. Areyou on Thorazine?"
American Dad! (2005)
"It's been two days, and I'm starting to get worried."
American Dad! (2005)
"Why?"
American Dad! (2005)
"[ Screams ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, and lookee here. The ballot box from the homecoming election."
American Dad! (2005)
"How do you like that? I neverwas the homecoming queen."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hello, Housekeeping? Can you bring us a runner-up-size bed?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Make way for the queen. - [ Gasps ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"- is that easy street isn't always the best route. - So true."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Mitch! - That pizza's not foryou, dipwad!"
American Dad! (2005)
"[ Sobbing ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Nein, nein, nein, nein."
American Dad! (2005)
"Wait. What would Yoda play?"
American Dad! (2005)
"That sounds awful."
American Dad! (2005)
"- [ Squeals, Giggles ] - [Phone Rings ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Is mama bird in her nest?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Hey, you know what? I feel like dancing. Let's go to that reunion."
American Dad! (2005)
"I was supposed to be his messenger, not Roger!"
American Dad! (2005)
"They say ifyou play it backwards..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Yes, he is, Roger. But I have a feeling he'll be back in three days."
American Dad! (2005)
"Ah, your faith is so inspiring."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Francine! - Stan! Stan?"
American Dad! (2005)
"There's four ofyou? That's it."
American Dad! (2005)
"You let me throw myself at a complete stranger?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Look, I only did this 'cause I wanted to go to the dance with the homecoming queen..."
American Dad! (2005)
"and I didn't wantyou to be mad."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, no! Oh, God!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- I tipped the pilot to hover! - I can't hearwhatyou're-"
American Dad! (2005)
"Hey, ifwe got your dad's missile launcher..."
American Dad! (2005)
"I bet we can hit the house ofthe bully who went all Tom Sizemore on your eye."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm pretty sure her mind is elsewhere."
American Dad! (2005)
"Jimmy Gillespie's parachute pants."
American Dad! (2005)
"Look for me tonight in the spotlight dance."
American Dad! (2005)
"that's the go-ahead to tune out."
American Dad! (2005)
"All right. Who areyou? And what have you done with my husband?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, I'm so sorry, honey. I loveyou so much."
American Dad! (2005)
"Two uncounted ballots, both for Betty Sue."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Are you ready to order? - Yes. I'll have-"
American Dad! (2005)
"- [ Moaning ] - Stan, what areyou doing?"
American Dad! (2005)
"which took place October 1 7, 1 987."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Damn it! Which one ofyou is Stan? - [ Both ] He is!"
American Dad! (2005)
"##['80s Rock]"
American Dad! (2005)
"## [ Continues ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, come on, guys! No wet willies!"
American Dad! (2005)
"No way she's gonna let you loan your mom's car to this psycho."
American Dad! (2005)
"Guess you didn't marry the homecoming queen."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Wow! That's quite a line. - It's actually more ofan assessment ofyour life."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hi. Stan Smith, married to the homecoming queen."
American Dad! (2005)
"And you! And you! And you! And you! And you!"
American Dad! (2005)
"which led to a mild case oftoxic shock."
American Dad! (2005)
"Yeah. Look, Kung Fu, I prefer my crazy in my bread."
American Dad! (2005)
"## [ Chorus Singing]"
American Dad! (2005)
"I've had too much punch. I'm driving home."
American Dad! (2005)
"You know, before we fire off your dad's mortar..."
American Dad! (2005)
"- This is a magical night! - Mwah!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- [ Grunting, Screaming ] - Thankyou for holding our place."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, Klaus, no. D-Don't eat that."
American Dad! (2005)
"Send them back. Send them all back."
American Dad! (2005)
"And I'm going to letyou."
American Dad! (2005)
"You're finally starting to get it, Roger."
American Dad! (2005)
"How could he abandon me after delivering such wisdom? [ Sobs ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"But turns out I was special because I married you..."
American Dad! (2005)
"[ Laughing ] BuckWilson. Now, there was a risk-management expert."
American Dad! (2005)
"All this time I thought I was special because I married the homecoming queen."
American Dad! (2005)
"## [ Singing Off-key]"
American Dad! (2005)
"and no one's had the decency to cremateyou and sprinkleyour ashes over Old Maid Mountain."
American Dad! (2005)
"Now say good-bye toyour kneecaps, Stan!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Get out here, you jerk! You abandoned me at my own reunion!"
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm gonna freshen up before the picnic."
American Dad! (2005)
"Luke would be on lead guitar, Chewie on drums..."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Oink, oink, oink, oink, oink, oink, oink, oink, oink! - [ Grunts ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"the same dish she ordered on their- our-our fourth date..."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm like candy to these people."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'd like to dress up like a girl and make him have sex with me..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hi there. I'm dining with a beautiful woman somewhere in this restaurant."
American Dad! (2005)
"It's likeyou've been walking around dead for 20 years..."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm not! How 'bout some punch?"
American Dad! (2005)
"## [Man Singing '80s Pop ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"[ Groaning ]"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Stan! Stan, wake up! - Huh? Oh, sorry. Must've zoned out."
American Dad! (2005)
"Uh, I had Markie Post. Wait. Is Markie Post dead?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- [VehicleApproaching] - Ooh, ooh, target- 1 2:00."
American Dad! (2005)
"that there was nothing we could have done to prevent that."
American Dad! (2005)
"So doyou, uh- uh-"
American Dad! (2005)
"Don't! Stan, I'll look silly."
American Dad! (2005)
"That's okay, Francine. You don't have to remember her name."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, damn! Oh, yes, he did!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Please, please, allow me."
American Dad! (2005)
"Unfortunately, she didn't realize that her tampon had been in for two days..."
American Dad! (2005)
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