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Clips from Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021) - We're Selling Washing Machines (S01E01)

"About a woman who decides to kill her husband."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I killed with oxycodone and made it look like an O.D."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"...qualifies."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Kevin!"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"My public defender said the same thing."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"That's why I didn't go to the prom."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Oh, I --"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Ooh. You got it?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"are too expensive without insurance,"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"You know, some days, it's just bad."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I need them. I need it."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Bullshit. Okay, well, how the hell would you know?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Like, this Monday? Like, three da-- Like, 72 hours?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"That is amazing."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I am sorry for the other night."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Eight years? Yeah."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"♪ Please give me a chance♪"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"needed a bit more, but I'm re-upping Monday."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I really need them."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Let me see what I can do, okay?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"It won't happen again."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Chili, the food."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Can't you just buy the chili this year?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"No, they do it 'cause we pay taxes."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"That's right, and this year,"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"with deep-fried turkey meat --"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"prepared, of course, using my brand-new"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I call her the "Dirty Birdie.""
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Is that the, uh --"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"the thing that's set up in our driveway?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Frying a turkey can be very dangerous."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Yeah, sometimes they explode,"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Sounds violent."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I guess I was just confused"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"so I thought it was your chili."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"It is, since I'm the magician behind it."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I said "no offense.""
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Uh, if I'm so wrong,"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"without my help."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"You want it?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"It was nice for the first 30 seconds"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"drive 90 miles to get pork belly,"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"This fight between 'em's gonna be the end of me."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Allison, I'm always impressed"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I knew it."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I just didn't know it was selling drugs."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Hey, babe."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Only for lazy people like Neil who lose chili cook-offs"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Like, when you're sleeping with some chick named Laura"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Oh, hell."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I'll take it."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Uh, I was hop--"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I want to look nice,"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"but, uh, I'm not sure it's a special occasion."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I -- Well, promise you won't tell Kevin?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"We're in that"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"mutually-assured-destruction territory now, yeah?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Well, uh, I am seeing an ex."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Jenn, with two "N's.""
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"And I didn't know Jenn that well,"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Having sex in front of the tortilla chips"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"And this is what you're wearing?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Huh?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Unless he's bad at it. Is he bad at it?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"He opened a bag of salad, put it on a plate,"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Oh, you got all done up for me, huh, sweetie?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Hey, let me know if you want me to set up"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"any more appointments under the bridge."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"He works there."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Okay, bye-bye."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Perfect timing!"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"This is our trump card, baby!"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"It's, um, staring at me."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Peek-a-boo! Oh!"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Neil and I..."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"That neighbor guy and I"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I'll do my line-for-line reenactment"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"of "Good Will Hunting.""
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I mean, see? How great is that?!"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I have a work at the package store."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Oh!"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Yeah, sure."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I ever met."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"filled with twists, turns, and steep hills..."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"and mega-hauls like Todd's an outright gamble."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Hey, I'm Sam."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"too drunk to even remember his name."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"-Hi. -Hi. Oh. Hi."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Uh, we've actually met before."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I, uh, worked with Sam in high school."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Oh, how sweet of you to come."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Um, anyway..."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I can't do it! What?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I can't hurt him!"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"How dudes who say they don't pee in the shower"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"there's no way that I can cut up my best friend!"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"because I got no meat for the chili!"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"You definitely pee in our shower."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I'm never leaving this house again,"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"with a beer -and a sandwich. -Oh--"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Not that I need anyone!"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Might as well accuse Father O'Donnell"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"if you're full of crap,"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Yeah, we'll see."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Hey, buddy."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Please."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Sir, put your hands behind your back."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Oh, here."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Okay."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"I remember thinking, like,"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"and what you can't live without."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Time..."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Whoa. You okay?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"but no one knows that I'm buying drugs,"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"If he did,"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Ooh."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"It was in the parking lot of the pharmacy."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Well, hey, it's not my fault."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Bu-- No."
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
"Okay?"
Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021)
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