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Clips from Schitt's Creek - Opening Night (S03E03)

"or the father who got stuck in a mine!"
Schitt's Creek
"That extra half hour could be the difference"
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"and one who wanders the street,"
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"waiting for a dust-covered man to emerge from the darkness!"
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"We do wait with the kids..."
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"Is that really what we want for our town?"
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"Homeless toddlers?!"
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"Tugging at your pant legs?!"
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"Okay Moira, I think you've made your point."
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"I assure you, council will examine this issue"
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"thoroughly and carefully."
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"Your children will be safe, that is a promise!"
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"Moira, what are you doing? You undermined my authority!"
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"We were losing our audience! You saw the walkouts."
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"And on opening night!"
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"- This isn't a theatre! - Isn't it?"
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"Look, you can't go making blind promises to these people!"
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"This isn't "Sunrise Bay,""
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"where everybody lives in a perfect dream world!"
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"I'll have you know,"
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"Sunrise Bay was a coastal community"
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"I hate to jump in here,"
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"but you told me I should use the bathroom during the break,"
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"and uh, the line's getting really long!"
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"Isn't this issue important to you?"
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"It's not a matter of importance, it's a matter of money!"
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"Then find the money!"
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"Ohhh, okay, why don't I just tiptoe"
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"into my orchard of money trees,"
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"and fill my basket with money for you!"
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"And while we're at it,"
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"why don't I gather up some diamond carrots,"
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"and some golden potatoes!"
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"And I don't mean the kind of potatoes you eat,"
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"I mean, the..."
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"potatoes that are made out of actual gold."
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"Okay, there must be some solution."
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"To the problem you just caused?"
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"I'm sure you'll figure somethin' out."
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"Oh, welcome to the show."
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"for taking the time to see me today."
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"It's actually Amygrace."
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"Amygrace, well, apologies."
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"It's funny, 'cause I remember when our families"
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"used to vacation together, you were just "Little Amy.""
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"I've always been Amygrace."
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"Ah..."
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"well then, just call me Johnnymichael."
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"You know, I-I'm very interested in your business,"
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"Amy... grace."
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"It's been very fulfilling."
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"Yeah. "Screamnastics.""
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""Screamnastics," I read that's a combination of gymnastics"
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"and um... screaming?"
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"Scream therapy, yes."
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"And extreme juicing."
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"Ah well, I'm a big juice fan myself."
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"Just so you know, Mr. Rose,"
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"most orange juices have"
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"frighteningly high sugar levels."
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"Okay..."
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"So, here's the important thing."
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"I believe this town could be the perfect spot"
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"Here's the issue, Mr. Rose,"
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"I've been touring small towns,"
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"in an extensive market research trip."
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"And unfortunately, what we're discovering"
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"is that most "rural" communities"
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"just don't have the same interest in health."
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"Or wellness."
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"Or what we like to call,"
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""Screamnastic inner/outer beauty connectivity.""
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"Well, I know a lot of people here"
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"who are very connected to their inner and outer beauty."
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"And even more who could use"
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"some of that "Screamnastic" connect... tivity."
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"Well, this town is very "Screamnastic," Amygrace."
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"Why don't we circle back in I don't know, six months,"
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"Yes, sure, sure, sure. We can do that."
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"Tell you what, why not make it three months?"
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"Let's circle back in three months,"
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"and that way we might be able to..."
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"open a "Screamnasium" by Christmas."
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"But it's been so great seeing you, Mr. Rose."
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"And my parents say hi, by the way."
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"They were beside themselves when they found out"
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"what happened to you guys."
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"Well, we're okay."
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"We're doing just fine, thank you."
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"Anyway, you take care."
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"You too."
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"Ahem!"
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"Oh, hey."
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"Thanks!"
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"I'm just putting the last coat on it now."
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"- Ah. - I think I'm getting a little high..."
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"- from the fumes. - Oh, that's nice."
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"Uh, we know that you're seeing both of us."
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"- So... - Okay."
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"Uh, no, we did not."
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"I mean, when you kissed us both on the mouth"
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"we sort of pieced it together."
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"Listen, I don't want to cause any drama."
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"- We don't want any drama! - Who wants drama?"
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"Nobody... does."
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"Some clarity would've been nice."
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"- You know? - Totally, yeah."
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"I just uh..."
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"I assumed you guys were cool with it."
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"Yeah, I don't think it's a matter of not being cool with it,"
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"I don't think that's... that's not what this is,"
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"it's um, what this is, is a clarity thing."
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"Yeah."
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"So you are cool with it?"
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"Yeah, I'm cool with it now."
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"I'm not not cool with it."
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"I don't think that was ever the thing, so..."
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"I don't think anybody's not cool here."
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"Okay, cool."
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"Well, hello again, you beautiful people."
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