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Clips from Schitt's Creek - Opening Night (S03E03)

"if you don't see any changes."
Schitt's Creek
"Bob, this sounds like a scam."
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"Far from it."
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"No, my-my computer was riddled with viruses."
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"I mean, Cal uh, he fixed it,"
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"over the phone!"
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"He didn't even look at my computer!"
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"That's how good he is."
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"Bob, I've got a meeting with a client in an hour,"
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"and I cannot be conducting business"
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"with somebody yammering into the phone beside me!"
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"Johnny, you're putting me in a bit of a pickle here."
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"You know, obviously I'd like to keep you both."
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"But there's uh..."
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"a cardboard box over there,"
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"you know, if you do feel like you wanna..."
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"you know, pack up your things."
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"Hi."
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"- Hi. - Oh, hi."
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"Um, what are you... what are you doing here?"
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"I just popped in to say hello."
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"Yeah, he came to say hi to me."
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"Um, and-and what... and um..."
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"I'm just curious."
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"Just curious about what you guys are..."
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"what you guys are talking about."
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"About stuff."
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"Mhmm..."
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"Is that okay with you?"
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"Yeah. Yeah."
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"Well, I should probably head."
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"I've got a ton of work to do, so..."
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"- Mmmm! - Bye."
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"Bye."
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"Unnnh!"
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"- I'll be in touch, all right? - Okay, yeah."
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"- What was that?! - Uh, what was that?!"
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"We're seeing each other!"
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"Okay, we're seeing each other."
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"He literally came here from my room."
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"He what?!"
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"He dropped me off..."
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"- at work this morning! - Okay, I get it!"
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"Um, he did not mention that to me."
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"And... frankly,"
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"I don't know whether I want your sloppy seconds!"
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"Uh, first of all, who says they're sloppy,"
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"Who knows how many people he's got on the go at this point?"
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"Okay, well all I know is that someone is sloppy..."
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"and it's not me!"
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"Well, hello, everyone!"
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"What time is curtain?"
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"We'll probably start in a few minutes."
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"Well, it looks like a full house out there."
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"Huh! So uh..."
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"is this what everyone's wearing?"
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"Well, I might lose the jacket."
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"If we look to have given up on ourselves,"
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"how can we assure our constituents"
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"that we haven't given up on them as well?"
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"So we look like we've given up on ourselves?"
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"Could we remember please that these are real people,"
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"with real problems, people!"
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"And while I can't pretend to fully understand them,"
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"I can at least attempt to care!"
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"Places, please!"
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"Um, okay, so I downloaded this app,"
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"basically so clients can schedule"
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"It just saves me answering the phone."
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"Right, so then..."
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"what will you do?"
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"Thank you for asking, Ted."
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"And here is my answer."
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"Um, my answer..."
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"starts by me saying..."
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"So, you two call each other?"
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"Hey! Um, about what?"
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"You're dressed the same."
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"Ah, never heard that one before."
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"- How are you? - I'm good, good."
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"Tennessee and I are actually goin' on a trip for a while, so..."
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"Wow, like, Tulum? Or..."
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"Uh, just gonna get in our car, and drive up the coast,"
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"let the road take us where it wants."
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"No plans, no phones, no schedules."
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"Basically my worst nightmare."
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"Sounds very adventurous."
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"So uh, what's new with you guys?"
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"Well, Alexis came home to a naked man in her bathroom."
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"- Cool. - Um no, it wasn't cool,"
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"because he wasn't actually there for me,"
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"which made everything very awkward,"
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"and uncomfortable for everyone."
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"Well, you're free to use the barn while I'm away."
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"You know, if you need some privacy."
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"I was actually looking for someone to water the plants,"
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"and check over the place, so..."
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"Oh, well, thank you, Mutt."
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"That actually might be good for me."
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"Well, we're leaving this afternoon, so you know,"
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"just swing by and grab the keys."
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"That's very generous."
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"Is that weird?"
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"Parents are complaining"
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"that they're struggling to get off work early enough to pick up their kids,"
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"and so that's why we would like to extend"
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"the after school daycare program by half an hour."
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"That's an idea we'll..."
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"give some real thought to."
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"Spoken like a true politician."
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"Ah! Vivacity aside,"
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"our children's safety is no laughing matter."
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"As a mother who once invested a great deal"
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"of time and money into her children,"
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"I, for one, stand by"
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"the request to extend the hours of the daycare."
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"One might think that an additional 30 minutes will have no impact,"
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"but you tell that to the mother"
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"whose manicurist just applied the wrong color,"
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"and must start all over again,"
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