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Clips from Chappelle's Show - Episode #1.8 (S01E01)

""give me your money, Crocodile Dundee.""
Chappelle's Show
"(Australian accent) "Oh, that's not a knife."
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"Any black dude in New York would have been like,"
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"so tonight I bring to you the real versions"
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"where you find that even the afterlife"
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"(audience laughing)"
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"Molly... Molly, Molly."
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"Hey, Molly,"
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"Well, they look better on you than they ever did on him."
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"Not a bad idea."
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"Mm-hmm."
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"You ready to get some of this lovin'?"
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"You bet your ass I am."
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"It's my dumb-ass husband who's dead, not me."
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"You ready to step into the jungle?"
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"(woman) Ooh, yeah."
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"What do you say? Oh, man!"
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"Oh, nigger, you know I see you."
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"You know... yeah, I'm looking right at you."
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"You, the ghost, nigger, I see you."
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"You like to watch? You wanna watch?"
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"Whee!"
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"(laughter and applause)"
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"Life's got to go on, life's got to go on."
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"Now, I don't want to pick on everybody else"
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"let's take a look at the, uh, real version"
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"(applauding)"
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"Yo, Kenny didn't come home last night, B."
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"We're really worried, man."
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"Jail?"
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"Yeah."
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"Why don't I break into the lab where I'm working?"
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"They got weed there, I'll steal it,"
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"we can sell it, and we'll make his bail."
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"Psh... I don't want to do that."
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"No, man. No."
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"Yeah! Hell, yeah, B.!"
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"Wassup?"
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"We need a new roommate!"
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"Knock, knock."
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"In fact, he had never even kissed a girl."
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"When you're that young and horny"
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"During a screening of Rebel Without A Cause,"
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"Using his Boy Scout pocket knife,"
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"he quickly carved a hole in the popcorn tub,"
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"to give his date more than just popcorn."
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"he arranges it on his lap, smiles at her,"
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"and this is where it happens,"
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"Brilliant... just brilliant!"
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"because that's how I got this..."
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"joining Harvey Randolph, the inventor of"
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"the inventor of the seemingly platonic sleepover"
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"Man, I'm bored."
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"I gotta go to the Chappelle's Show."
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"Hollywood has often been accused of racism."
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"But is it racist?"
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"And if so, who are the culprits?"
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"Frontline embarked on a journey to answer these questions"
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"countless Americans for his TV exploits."
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"Who stole the silver? (barking)"
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"12 of them? Good boy, Rin."
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"His acts of heroism and undying loyalty"
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"This is Justin Wilkes,"
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"a security guard in Montgomery, Alabama."
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"For three decades, he has waged"
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"a personal crusade against the canine star."
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"That dog that you call "Rin Tin Tin", I call "racist"."
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"I saw the show. I saw the dog."
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"I said, "where do I know this dog from?""
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"So, you're saying that's you in the classic"
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"Okay, see, that's a discrepancy right there."
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"by a German Shepherd from Dusseldorf, Germany.""
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"We hunted down the dental records"
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"of the dog who played Rin Tin Tin."
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"A few days later, Mr. Wilkes returned,"
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"and a canine dental expert compared"
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"This is, uh, most definitely a match right here."
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"That opened the floodgates."
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"In subsequent weeks, more African-Americans"
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"came forward with similar accusations"
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"That disgusting, bigot-ass horse!"
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"Took ya I-I-long enough, n-n-nigger."
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"I'm gonna cut you."
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"Frontline was sent, anonymously,"
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""We deeply regret the way Mr. Ed"
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""was taken advantage of by the Klan."
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""If it's any consolation, his best friend was"
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"racist Hollywood automobiles,"
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"and hear disturbing audio from the hit TV show"
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"(Kitt) Puerto Ricans are lazy, Michael."
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"I'm Kent Wallace."
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"Good night."
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"See, that's the kind of movie you could"
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"I wonder what it'd look like?"
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"the crack of that ass."
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"I wish my boys could see this."
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"I want to have doggy-style sex with her, ugh."
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"Look at them nipples, man."
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"(laughing)"
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"Turn on your TV."
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"Oh, man, thanks."
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"You know, way back on the second episode,"
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"I did this piece about a, uh... a crack addict"
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"A lot of people said I was insensitive, so..."
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"I brought him back again to the show."
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"we want to handle this with love, right?"
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"You want to tell him how his drug abuse has hurt you,"
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"and he hurt himself, okay?"
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"Harold, what time did you tell him to be here?"
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"5:00, but he's always late."
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"No, he'll be here... in three, two, one..."
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"The kookiest crackhead in the town"
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"now he's back on point."
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"(crashing)"
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"He's finally home, he's Tyrone."
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"(narrator) This week, Tyrone gets invited to an intervention."
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"Oh, ya... lock the door, good idea."
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"Hey."
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"Okay, Tyrone, do you know why you're here?"
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"Mm-hmm, I'm here for same reasons you is, man,"
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