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Clips from The Simpsons - Million Dollar Abie (S17E17)

"I thought it was about her boobs."
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"But first, the commissioner of pro football"
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"is a big project, requiring a lot of follow-through."
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"what the Hellmann's real mayonnaise?!"
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"Marge, meet pro football's newest team;"
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"Plus, I designed a state-of-the-art stadium."
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"It's the duff beer krustyburger buzz cola"
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"Maybe Homer brush teeth first?"
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"...And Los Angeles, which has sent us this videotape."
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""I'll have what she's having" was one of the lines."
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"to sign waivers allowing celebrity impersonators to sing in this video."
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"Springfield blows"
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"I'm sick of L.A.!"
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"Los Angeles!"
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"Then Springfield it is!"
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"Yes, but which airport?"
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"Hartsfield in Atlanta."
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"I'd better call and ask for directions."
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"what a day."
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"who are you?"
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"As you can tell, I've been crying."
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"I made a collage of these, and when you step back, it looks like my face."
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"If i knock him out, I'll be a hero."
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"By the shores of gitche gumee by the shining big sea water"
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"Yeah, let me, et me start again."
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"You mean..."
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"Where is the baby?"
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"Thanks to you, we have a hundred-million-dollar stadium"
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"on account of everyone hating ya, including me."
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"Euthanasia?"
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"No way!"
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"Aw, I think you're cute, too."
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"A lot of gunk gets stuck in it."
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"Y'ello."
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"I am so honored that you've chosen me to murder you."
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"My appointment before you."
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"Little screwed up."
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"Hands off the stiff, manfred manslaughter!"
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"I'm dead!"
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"Look out!"
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"Am I in heaven or hell?"
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"and I know what's happening"
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"You're all going to die in a pointless war."
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"I suggest we use the stadium for the ancient art of the toreador"
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"No, wait, wait!"
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"All we need now is, uh, er, uh,"
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"Is the practice bull ready?"
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"A penny. This is my lucky day."
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"Had my doubts, but grampa sure"
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"And the corrida del toro has begun."
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"And another Veronica. And another."
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"of rice and beans at the Springfield taco pronto."
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"Tired of waiting two hours for a taco?"
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"as if he is distracted."
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"No, Lisa."
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"I don't get what he's doing, and I'm smart."
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"Not book smart or street smart or brain smart, but something."
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"He has released the bulls from the stadium!"
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"Grampa must have set them free."
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"If you let me go, I give you free large"
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"We're closed on monday."
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"Ah, ah, Santa Maria!"
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"Thanks for setting me straight, sweetie."
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"Next on FOX, Carmen Electra stars in Boobs,"
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"about a class of remedial reading students"
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"and their teacher who wants to be taken seriously."
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"Tiger Woods is annoyed, and North Korean missiles deployed."
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"Owners will meet soon to award a new team to one lucky city."
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"Well, it's a cinch Springfield won't be that lucky city."
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"Yeah, the only thing we're known for"
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"is leading the country in heart attacks."
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"I, Homer Simpson, will personally bring"
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"God, we have fun."
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"Homie, snagging a pro football franchise"
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"And that's not your strong suit, big guy."
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"I'll show you all."
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"I'm going to spearhead the hell out of this expansion bid."
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"Homie, you've been down here for a week."
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"I really think you need..."
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"stupid flanders park."
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"Homer do great!"
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"Gentlemen, I've narrowed our choice of expansion cities down to two:"
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"Springfield..."
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"I own slums there!"
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"I'm here to tell you why you should choose"
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"L.A. Over Springfield."
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"Springfield has Apu Nahasapeemapetilon."
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"Hollywood takes in talented actors and writers from all over the world."
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"Springfield takes in garbage from other cities."
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"Some of hollywood's biggest stars have taken the time"
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"They got earthquakes, wildfires, bennifers,"
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"brangelinas, and that potty mouth, Sarah Silverman!"
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"I didn't kill my husband to get control of his franchise to give a team to"
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"Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go tell my gay grandson I still love him."
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"This is Kent Brockman live at duff beer krustyburger"
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"buzz cola costington's department store kwik-e-mart stupid flanders park."
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"In just one hour, the commissioner of football"
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"will arrive to sign the contracts necessary"
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"to make Springfield the home of pro football's newest team the Meltdowns!"
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"I've got melt mania!"
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"In honor of the commissioner's visit, the city has been repainted"
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"in the team colors and all the streets whimsically renamed."
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""Touchdown avenue"? Delightful."
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"Who ya talkin' to?"
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"Your imaginary girlfriend?"
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"Isn't your mother a well-known whore?"
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"You win this round, Mel."
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"This map says things like "Oak street" and "Evergreen terrace,""
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"But all I see are "two-point-conversion avenue""
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"My god!"
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"What do you want?"
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"What year is it?"
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"I have to borrow your phone."
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"And I also need to use your bathroom."
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"Tonight on 48 minutes, we look at america's number one problem:"
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"Criminals who prey on the elderly people who watch this program."
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"I'd go to some geezer's house and ask to use their phone or their bathroom."
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"Well, I'm done with the bathroom."
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"Now I'm going to make that phone call."
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"Then I'd steal their wallets,"
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