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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - The Corpse-Sniffing Dog (S03E03)

"Larry David?"
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"- Oh. - Hi."
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"Thank you, thank you very much."
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"A little sunscreen on it and it's fine."
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"No convertibles. Oh, God, I hate that."
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"- "You misrepresented yourself." - Exactly."
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""You're a liar." Right, yeah."
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"- I would say, "Get the toupee people." - Absolutely."
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"My fault. It was my fault the whole time."
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"No, if I hadn't told Mindy Reiser that thing..."
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"Good, good. It's good to see you guys."
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"Ah-hh!"
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"How is everything going? How are the kids? How's the house?"
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"I want a good, smart, trained dog."
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"Jeff's got that German shepherd..."
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"oh my God, this would be perfect for you."
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"He's, I don't know, maybe four."
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"It's a corpse-sniffing dog. They got it from the fire department."
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"What happened was they separated..."
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"Jeff and his wife."
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"and she was worried so she got a dog for security, and..."
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"but he's allergic to the dog,"
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"It's like having a person there who barks."
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"How do we do this, how do we do this?"
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"He's like an elephant sticking his head in a pond."
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"Can you please pour some for me? You can't send this back."
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"- Fine. - It's fine, it's delicious."
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"No, Larry, Larry, come on, you can't."
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"- You haven't said a word. - Thank you for asking."
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"I'm not allowed to talk about it. She doesn't like it."
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"She's bored with restaurant talk."
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"I'm not allowed to talk about anything I'm doing."
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"- That is so... - No, that's true."
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"He told me. He goes, "I found this guy, he's great."
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"- Don't say that. That's not true. - Is that?"
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"My pleasure. You're welcome."
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"- Honey, it's our money. - No, it's not."
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"- Our money. - Right... you know, and..."
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"- And it's their money. - It's not "their money," it's my money."
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"It's not about where it's coming from, it's what it becomes."
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"This is nice."
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"How come there's no partitions in the bathroom between the urinals?"
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"I don't know. I thought we were gonna have that."
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"Yeah, privacy. I'm absolutely with you."
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"This is a high-class restaurant, Larry."
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"But is it really important, Larry?"
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"My family's dog, not my dog."
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"some stuff to do with tiling at the new house."
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"Well, folks,"
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"There will have to be an investigation,"
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"Oh, this is a nightmare."
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"- My eyes are burning. - You look terrible."
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"You've got to sit down and talk to her."
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"She'll understand, don't you think?"
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"Good boy."
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"And the reason this is all happening"
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"What I'm saying is, if you say Oscar,"
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"I think he's found something."
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"A bra?"
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"How long is it gonna take to get all this back?"
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"They dug up the electric, the gas, the plumbing, it's..."
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"- So how long? - Three weeks to a month, Larry."
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"Let me ask you this..."
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"- That's good, Larry. - We'll get the splash guards."
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"She wants Oscar! She wants the dog!"
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"They took him back to your house."
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"A bra? What the fuck's wrong with that dog?"
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"I got to call that bald chef and tell him."
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"You're gonna hear from me soon."
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"- Can I come in? - Mm-hmm."
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"- What are you drinking? - Grape juice. Want some?"
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"I don't like cats."
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"Hamster?"
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"I like Oscar better."
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"I saw your daddy use it the other day."
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"Where's the whistle part?"
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"Anyway, that's my spiel."
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"I'm taking him to the Braudys."
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"He's sitting right next to me."
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"Well, Oskie-boy. Huh?"
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"Give Uncle Larry a kissy, Oscar boy."
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"Well, here's Oscar."
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"No, I mean, do you have anything else to say to me from dinner?"
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"I enjoyed the chicken very much."
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"Larry, I'm waiting, I'm just waiting."
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"Well..."
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"if it's a thank you that you're waiting for."
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"Okay. Extraordinary."
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"In this particular instance, you do not deserve to be thanked."
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"Because a man and a woman are married..."
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"Doggie! Oh, he's so cute."
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"- It's your dog, Larry. - You promised!"
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"Daddy and I were talking..."
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"- Oh, he's such a good dog. ...but not this dog."
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"Yeah. Please...?"
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"Enjoy."
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"What the fuck do you think you're doing"
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"She's slurring her words, she's bumping into things,"
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"she stinks like a fuckin' wino!"
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"Maybe you brought him for some animal testing or something,"
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"Get me the fucking dog!"
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"First of all..."
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"I was so wrong about that."
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"That has nothing to do with it."
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"I'm very... I am impressed."
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"she was quite drunk at the time, unbeknownst to me."
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"- Drunk? How old is this girl? - Seven. Anyway..."
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"- No, I came to thank you for dinner. - Oh my God, I just knew it."
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"And as long as I'm here, I'll take the dog."
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"- I'm sorry. - You're not giving me the dog?"
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"I take back my thank you, by the way."
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"Bye bye, now! You can leave now."
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"Why'd you bring the dog back?"
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"Hi."
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"Yeah."
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"Yeah. Hey, look at you. Look at you."
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"Yeah, look at you."
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"Wow. When did you start losing it?"
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"I started losing when I was 15."
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"15, wow, earlier than me, yeah."
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