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Clips from Gilligan's Island - Diogenes, Won't You Please Go Home? (S01E01)

"And what did you lock up in the cabin?"
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"Are you saying in other words you don't want to tell me."
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"I'm not interested."
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"Skipper, what are you doing up there?"
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"[screaming]"
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"- A bird? - Yeah."
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"I hereby do takeover."
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"The cupid Larry-Harry, or Harry-Larry or whatever it is"
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"Oh, that."
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"I wrote down what happened. I didn't make anything up."
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"It's the bayonet we took off that Japanese sailor."
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"- Hi, girls. - Hi."
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"'Skipper, use this, it might go a little faster.'"
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"then turn my mind to the enemy."
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"Oh, sir."
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"Sometimes the shrapnel comes through my fingers"
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"Holy mackerel."
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"- But then all officers do. - Oh! Yeah."
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"Okay, Skipper."
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"[laughing]"
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"- Thanks for remembering for me. - That's alright, Gilligan."
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"[thud]"
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"You can all read it if you like."
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"["The Ballad Of Gilligan's Isle"]"
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"* Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale *"
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"* A tale of a fateful trip *"
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"* That started from this tropic port aboard this tiny ship *"
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"* The mate was a mighty sailing man *"
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"* The skipper brave and sure *"
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"* Five passengers set sail that day *"
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"* For a three hour tour *"
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"* A three hour tour *"
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"* The weather started getting rough *"
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"* The tiny ship was tossed *"
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"* If not for the courage of the fearless crew *"
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"* The Minnow would be lost *"
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"* The Minnow would be lost *"
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"* The ship set ground on the shore of this *"
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"* Uncharted desert isle *"
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"* With Gilligan *"
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"* The Skipper too *"
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"* The millionaire *"
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"* And his wife *"
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"* The movie star *"
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"* And the rest are here on Gilligan's Isle *"
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"[instrumental music]"
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"(Skipper) 'Gilligan!'"
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"'Where are you?'"
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"'Gilligan!'"
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"Gilligan, where are you?"
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"Didn't you hear me call you little buddy?"
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"Uh-huh."
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"Nothing."
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"Oh, Gilligan, how can you lock up nothing?"
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"Well, it's hard. You gotta get a good grip on it."
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"Get your legs apart and give it a good.."
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"Yup."
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"Gilligan, I'll tell you something."
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"[melodramatic music]"
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"The key is on top of the cupboard."
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"- That wasn't very funny. - I was trying to be helpful."
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"- Oh, it's empty. - Right."
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"Absolutely nothing."
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"But there used to be something."
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"[instrumental music]"
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"- 'Aha!' - Aha!"
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"Aha!"
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"What's more important is what are you doing down there."
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"Skipper, If I were you, I'd get out of that tree."
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"Gilligan, I'm not moving until I've learned your little secret."
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"- It's no secret. See. - What is that, may I ask?"
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"It's honey, I got a sweet tooth."
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"Sometimes, I pull out a piece of honeycomb."
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"Don't you know better than to stick your hand in a beehive?"
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"It's not dangerous. Honey drips down to the hole."
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"The bees come in and out right by your--"
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"That is the silliest thing I've ever heard.."
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"Heard, heard!"
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"See, see, I told you so."
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"Could it be a black pearl?"
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"Well, that's possible. That's very possible."
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"I bet that he's got bagful, and he's not sharing them with us."
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"Oh, Gilligan wouldn't do that. Well, he's our friend."
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"A girl's best friend is a.."
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"- Diamond! - Geologically impossible."
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"A ruby."
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"Southeast Asia."
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"- An emerald. - India and the China coast."
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"Professor, what is it that Gilligan has"
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"that's fabulously valuable that fits in a space like this?"
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"An eight-year-old bottle of scotch."
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"We haven't been on this island for eight years."
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"What makes you think that he's hiding liquid refreshments?"
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"It's the Howell instinct. You mark my words."
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"Gilligan is fermenting the juice of the grape."
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"[instrumental music]"
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"[squealing]"
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"Ginger, what're you doing in there?"
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"- Where? - In that bush."
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"In the bush? I-I-I was looking for something."
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"- Are you a bird watcher? - I was looking for a bird."
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"Me too. I saw a turquoise-browed motmot and European hoopoe."
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"- Ooh, must have been fun. - What kind you're looking for?"
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"- Baltimore oriole. - That's a baseball player."
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"Yeah."
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"Ah, Gilligan, I've been looking for you."
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"- I'm sure not hard to find. - What do you mean?"
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"Everybody's been finding me. Up in trees, jumping out of bushes."
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"Just peeking all over the place."
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"Thanks, Mary Ann."
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"See what I mean?"
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"Need the broom for spring house-cleaning."
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"What? In November?"
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"It should be obvious. You've hidden something valuable."
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"Others think you ought to share it."
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"What's so valuable about a diary?"
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"- A what? - My diary."
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"It's about people on the island. I call it "Dear diary.""
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"- You've been keeping it hidden? - Aha. I hid it real good."
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"- Are you sure? - I'm positive."
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