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Clips from Schitt's Creek - Allez-Vous (S01E01)

"Oh, son of a bum!"
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"Son of a bitch!"
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"Ugh!"
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"Oh!"
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"Oh!"
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"Well, the good news is all you need is a new fan belt,"
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"and then you'll be right back on the road."
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"Well, it was important I get to Elmdale today, Roland,"
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"I appreciate you helping me out."
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"Ah, it's no problem, Johnny."
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"So, where in Elmdale am I taking you?"
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"Oh, just the general downtown area will be fine."
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"It's uh, just... just a business meeting,"
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"just I've gotta meet a guy."
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"Uh huh, what guy?"
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"A financial guy, it's a financial matter."
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"Well Johnny, it's gonna be awfully hard for me"
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"It's not a big secret, it's not a big secret, Roland,"
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"and you're only doing 25, if we could pick it up a little..."
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"What's the big rush here? I don't get that, either!"
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"The office closes at four o'clock, that's all."
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"What office are you talking about?"
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"The financial guy that I'm seeing, his office..."
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"What financial guy?"
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"The guy I'm doing business with, I told you..."
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"- Where are we going?! - The unemployment office!"
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"Okay?"
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"I'm applying for unemployment."
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"Jeez pal, your business is your business."
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"I don't know why you're telling me!"
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"Well, good afternoon!"
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"Everyone have a full glass, I hope?"
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"We've wanted to have you all here for ages,"
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"you've all so graciously welcomed us"
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"into your heavenly hamlet!"
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"in our adjoining suite."
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"David! We have guests!"
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"You were supposed to have cleaned up all these quality products!"
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"I must've lost track of time."
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"Now the seating areas are covered in Allez Vous cosmetics!"
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"I know, I just didn't want to put such high quality"
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"paraben and paba free product on the floor!"
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"Come on in."
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"Okay, well everything's going super well, I can see, so..."
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"well no, come on, we've gotta stay for a bit."
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"No, we've made our appearance, and now we can go."
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"Your mom asked me to come."
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"Well, she asked everybody to come."
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"Can you not just say no for one time, Ted?!"
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"Jocelyn, you can hold this lip plumper."
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"Ronnie, this is a mineral moisturizer,"
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"you could keep it on your lap, or sample it."
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"David, now is not the time to discuss Allez Vous'"
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"Oh!"
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"Actually, I think I'm going to be getting lunch elsewhere."
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"I don't think so."
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"Now you get all decisive-y?"
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"I was just so excited about Allez Vous' exclusive"
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"Alexis, you'd like this product."
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"It's all about aging, and dry skin."
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"David, I know you're excited to be part"
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"of the fastest growing multilevel marketing community"
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"on the continent, but honestly!"
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"There's something wrong with your face."
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"With my face?"
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"Well, if any of you do happen to have questions"
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"about the products,"
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"or how to make up to 600,000 dollars a year,"
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"In the meantime, please, eat, drink,"
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"to your possible beauty!"
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"How can I help you today, sir?"
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"Uh, yes, Johnny Rose, I have an appointment to get some money."
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"Get some money?"
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"I need a cheque, preferably today."
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"'cause I have somebody waiting in the car."
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"Well, we don't just give out money."
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"Oh yeah, sure, yeah. Hm-hm."
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"- Your name? - Johnny Rose."
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"- Last employer? - Johnny Rose."
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"And how long did you work for yourself?"
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"All my life."
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"And your reason for being out of work?"
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"Did you pay into unemployment insurance?"
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"I don't know, maybe I did, maybe I didn't,"
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"I employed people, hundreds of people."
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"But that doesn't mean you qualify for unemployment."
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"I lost my job!"
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"Okay, let me walk you through this."
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"so I can employ more people,"
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"that might actually end up saving you money in the long run"
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"now, am I the only one who understands"
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"how an economy works around here?!"
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"Let me walk you through this, Mr. Rose."
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"Unless you can prove that you contributed, you don't qualify."
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"If you were laid off, or fired,"
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"or could show that you were out looking for work,"
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"that would be a different story."
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"I'd like to talk to your supervisor, please."
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"I am the supervisor."
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"And, may I say, doing a fantastic job."
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"And who's interested?"
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"Well, it doesn't look like anybody's really interested."
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"Get out!"
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"I know someone here wants in on this exclusive opportunity!"
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"Moira, honey, that Champagne Audi is really hard to get."
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"Excuse me?"
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"Take it from me, Roland and I have been Allez Vous reps"
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"for two years, and we're still driving that old truck."
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"Sorry, you're... you're an Allez Vous consultant?"
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"I'm actually an executive area manager."
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"I'm a district manager."
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"I'm an executive district manager."
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"I gave up."
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"What?!"
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"The Allez Vous craze hit the town a couple years ago,"
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"In two weeks we had sold everything"
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"It became a bit incestuous, yeah, very small sales pool."
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"It became literally impossible to climb the ladder."
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"Somehow, we got off on the wrong foot."
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"Okay? So if I in any way gave you the impression that-"
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