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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Bad Beat (S05E05)

"All right, let's go."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Okay. Sorry."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- There's a question I gotta ask you. - Mm-hmm."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's happening."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Jake is gonna pop the question."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- He's gonna ask me to be his BM. - Both: No."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"BM, best man, is a common abbreviation."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"No one but you has ever used it."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I am so relieved."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I thought maybe he was gonna ask one of Amy's brothers"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"or, ugh, Sarge."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Hey, man, come on. - Charles!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[mouthing]"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You want to cover my shift this weekend"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"so I can go to the White Plains Mall"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"and meet Darryl Strawberry at the opening of a cellphone store?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's exactly what I was hoping you'd ask."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Great. Thanks. You sure it's okay?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Uh, look at my smile. Have to go now."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Jake! - What do you say, bud?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"In your face, Terry!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"What? I'm holding a sparkler for you."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I helped organize a lot of this."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm the best man!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Captain, allow me to introduce you"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"to major East Coast arms dealer Dan "Daniel" Valdano."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"That's right, his nickname is longer than his actual name."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Why's that, Terry? - 'Cause he's a dick."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"We got a warrant to bug him, but his house is a fortress"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"and he never goes anywhere in public."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Valdano's gonna actually leave his house"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"to go to a high stakes poker game this Friday."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"If we can get a seat at that table, we can lose this watch to him."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And guess what. It's..."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Good guess, Captain."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"The plan is, we go to the club tonight,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"show off our poker skills, and get an invite to the high stakes game."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"That's a lot of money. How are your poker skills?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Good. - A'ight."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Hecka good. - A'ight."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Oh. Do you play? - I am..."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- A'ight. - Damn, Cap."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Are you secretly cool? - Well, poker is just math,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"so I guess it depends on if you consider"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"the mathematician Carl Friedrich Gauss cool."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I do not."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"All right, let's play some cards."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Sarge asked me to help you guys with some filing."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Holy crap, this is gonna take all day."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Yup, it's what we call an all-dayer."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"How long did it take you two to come up with that?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Why should we? We can work from down here."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm sitting down as long as I can."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm not getting out of the chair till it's time to go home."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You couldn't sit all day if you tried."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"What? You don't think I could outlast you turds in a chair?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Honey, you don't have the ass for it."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Let's talk terms."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Both cheeks on the cushion at all times."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Obviously. Bathroom breaks?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Two and a half minutes every three hours."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"But you gotta roll the chair fully into the stall."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Let's do this. - Welcome to the Buttlympics."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I call to order the meeting of investors"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"in the forthcoming Charles Boyle owned-and-operated"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"food truck venture."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Yes. Put this down: we got a truck."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"What? Really? That's huge."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Take a look."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Is that the NYPD police auction site?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And there's our baby. Isn't she a..."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Murder truck?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"That's the truck from the Tinga Time Taco murders!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Yes, two brothers were using a taco truck"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"to move heroin and then were killed by the cartel"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- that supplied them. - Not just killed, Boyle."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Dismembered. Right in the truck."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I don't want to sell food out of this.""
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Oh, almost forgot my hazmat suit."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You don't even know the terminology."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- What are you talking about? "Hit me." - That is blackjack."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Snake-eyes. - Craps."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Go Fish. - And I believe that is"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Go Fish. - Fine."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Jake stinks, but I can play."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Yes, but you have a rather unfortunate tell:"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Oh, no. My cards are terrible."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Dammit, Eugene, you sold me out!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Captain, do I have a tell?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- to have a tell. - Yeah, that makes sense."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"What about you? What's your tell?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It is subtle. You will never discern it."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Oh, really? Well, challenge accepted."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Nope, I couldn't see it. Wait, what?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You're cancelling the mission? You can't do that."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"This is our only shot at catching Valdano."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's a foolish plan. Neither of you have any chance"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"But maybe you could. What if you played?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"No, I don't gamble anymore."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"specifically involving..."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"the ponies."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Oh. That's fun. - Wait."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"What if I never went inside the casino?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Smart. That way you never technically gamble."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Right. - I don't know."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Addiction is nothing to fool around with."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I had food issues. I ate a crate of hams once."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Yeah, and look at you now."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's settled; we'll go with the captain's plan."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You wear sunglasses, headphones, and an unwashed hoodie."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I more meant the living in my mom's basement virgin vibe."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You added the virgin, but I like it. It's part of your backstory now."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- But... - You're a virgin. That's an order."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"But I don't want to be a virgin again."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Evening, gentlemen. Let's play some cards."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm coming in under the gun, and I've 15k behind."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Okay."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Action's on you."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Mmm, tasty. Raise it 500."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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