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Clips from Schitt's Creek - The Cabin (S01E01)

"You look awfully good in that blue collar."
Schitt's Creek
"Well, thank you very much, Mrs. Rose."
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"I don't often get compliments when I'm fixing doors."
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"Oh, Edward, I'm afraid I must tell you,"
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"I shan't be able to pay you today."
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"Well, that's okay, Mrs. Rose."
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"Maybe there's, um, some other way you can pay me,"
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"if you get my drift."
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"Did you take my mask?"
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"Thank you."
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"Well, maybe, I'll use a bigger screw, Mrs. Rose."
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"- Don't you go anywheres. - I'll be right here, Eddie."
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"- Oh, yeah! - Oh, yeah, yeah."
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"Could you spare some a... Oh, my God! Oh, my God!"
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"David!"
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"Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God."
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"Oh, my God."
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"Oh, my God, what's happening?"
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"I saw hell is what's happening."
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"Oh, my God."
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"What?"
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"- Oh, my... - David,"
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"what you just saw was your mother and me..."
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"- I know what I saw... - Having an intimate moment."
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"- I cannot unsee that! - Okay."
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"Oh, my God, you poor thing."
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"And I refuse to feel guilty about being in bed with my wife."
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"- Ew! Ew! Ew! - I hate to be the one to tell you,"
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"but having sex is not just about making children,"
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"Oh, my God, can you stop this, please?"
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"I will not be shamed. Shame on you."
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"Shame on you for attempting that position"
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"- at 8:00 in the morning. - Oh!"
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"- John? - You know what?"
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"Do you know how difficult it is for us"
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"to share a wall with you two?"
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"Yes, well, if you don't mind,"
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"we are now going back into our room"
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"and don't even think about opening that door..."
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"- Are you serious? - Next time."
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"Oh, my God."
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"- Roland, I just need the door fixed. Okay? - Mmm-hmm."
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"My family can't keep living like this."
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"My wife and I, we have no privacy."
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"Okay, all right. I get what this is about."
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"You and the wife wanna bump the old uglies, huh?"
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"I have no idea what that means."
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"Having a little problem down there"
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"below there, Johnny Boy, huh?"
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"No, there's no problem, Roland,"
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"I just need the locks fixed..."
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"It's okay, I get it."
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"I get it, Captain."
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"You've been out to sea for a while,"
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"you wanna bring the boat into port,"
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"and maybe, get your mast scrubbed?"
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"What're you guys down to, now? Like, twice a day?"
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"Okay, this is a conversation"
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"you and I will never have, all right?"
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"I just need the door fixed."
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"Well, how 'bout I do you one better?"
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"We got a cabin up by the lake."
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"It's just a little love nest for the lady and me."
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"You know, when we wanna spark the old spark from time to time."
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"My gift to you and yours for the night."
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"So generous, but I'm gonna take a pass."
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"- Hey, Johnny. - Jocelyn?"
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"- How are you? - Uh, good. Good."
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"Sex life's in the crapper. I just offered him the cabin."
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"That is so not true."
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"- I knew something was wrong. - Nothing is wrong."
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"I wouldn't wanna see your relationship get any worse."
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"No, our relationship is fine. It's just a privacy issue..."
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"Johnny, Johnny, come on, come on, come on, come on."
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"Take the cabin, okay?"
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"And, uh, feel free to use the restraints."
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"We keep 'em under the bed, so..."
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"Pick a safe word."
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"Mmm..."
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"I, for one, think we should"
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"We're talking about Roland's place."
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"Who knows what the hell we're gonna find up there?"
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"Well, we can't share any real intimacy here"
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"in this internment camp, John,"
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"Separate beds, separate rooms."
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"Well, separate countries."
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"Exactly! A bad marriage!"
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"Hey, if you're willing to give this a shot, I'm game."
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"- You're game. - Yeah."
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"Okay. I'll play."
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"You know, I'm starting to get a pretty good feeling myself."
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"Are you?"
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"Oh, my God! Am I being punished for something?"
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"I don't' think parenting books would approve of you saying that to me."
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"I'm here to grab a magazine,"
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"and go back and leave you guys to whatever disgusting..."
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"- Stay. - Stick around, stick around."
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"- Alexis? - Alexis!"
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"They're done!"
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"Your father and I have some very important news."
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"If you tell me that you're pregnant,"
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"I'm gonna vomit on this floor right now."
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"- Oh, can you imagine? - We're planning a trip."
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"Just to a cabin overnight."
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"And we request that the two of you not try to contact us"
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"for the next 24 hours."
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"- I really appreciate you doing that for me. - I'm doing it for us."
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"Well, it's to my benefit."
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"Um, why don't you guys stay at the cabin for longer?"
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"Oh, I would never just abandon you two in a motel in the middle of nowhere."
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"Didn't you once take the wrong baby home from pre-school?"
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"Alexis looked Chinese as an infant."
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"How many times must I defend myself?"
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"So, we're good, then? Thank you."
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"- No, thank you. - No, thank you."
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"- Honestly, thank you. - Enough, David."
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"Thank you so much for the loan of your cabin and your truck."
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"Looks like you folks got a lot of gear here, huh?"
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"Is that the tickle trunk?"
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"It's just clothes."
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