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Clips from Seinfeld - The Contest (S04E04)

"That is such baloney. I shave my legs."
Seinfeld
"Not every day."
Seinfeld
"- You wanna be in? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"You gotta give us odds. At least 2-1. You gotta put up $200."
Seinfeld
"No. A thousand."
Seinfeld
"No. I'll put up 150."
Seinfeld
"- All right. You're in for 150. - Okay, 150."
Seinfeld
"How we gonna monitor this?"
Seinfeld
"I'm sure we'll all feel comfortable within the confines of the honor system."
Seinfeld
"I don't care if you do pay for it."
Seinfeld
"No. Discussion over."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, all right. I'll see you later."
Seinfeld
"Yeah..?"
Seinfeld
"Whatever."
Seinfeld
"- How is she? - She'll be fine."
Seinfeld
"I gotta go see her at the hospital."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah? - It's me."
Seinfeld
"Come on up."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, what are you doing tonight? - Date with Marla."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, the virgin? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Any progress there? What's the latest?"
Seinfeld
"I'm waiting for someone to give me the go-ahead."
Seinfeld
"Hey, look at this. Come here. There's a naked woman across the street."
Seinfeld
"Where?"
Seinfeld
"Second floor from the top. See the window on the left?"
Seinfeld
"Maybe she's a nudist. You know those nudist-colony people."
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Let me ask you, in these nudist colonies..."
Seinfeld
"...do they eat naked in the dining room?"
Seinfeld
"I would imagine it's all naked."
Seinfeld
"Are the chambermaids naked too?"
Seinfeld
"They're naked. The gardener's naked. Bellhops."
Seinfeld
"- Hey. - Hey."
Seinfeld
"Well, where's my money? Who caved?"
Seinfeld
"- What are you looking at? - A naked woman across the street."
Seinfeld
"This is gonna be the easiest money I've ever made in my life."
Seinfeld
"My friend Joyce is teaching an aerobics class. I'm gonna go tonight."
Seinfeld
"Then, I got a call this morning. I was chosen to go on the space shuttle."
Seinfeld
"- We're going to Mars. - Have a good time."
Seinfeld
"I'm out."
Seinfeld
"What?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, I'm out. I'm out of the contest."
Seinfeld
"- You're out? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Well, it was that woman across the street."
Seinfeld
"And then there were three."
Seinfeld
"I go out for a quart of milk."
Seinfeld
"I come home and find my son treating his body..."
Seinfeld
"...like it was an amusement park."
Seinfeld
"Don't give me "Ma. " It's good I didn't hit the table."
Seinfeld
"I could have cracked my head open."
Seinfeld
"Too bad you can't do that for a living."
Seinfeld
"You could sell out Madison Square Garden."
Seinfeld
"Thousands of people could watch you."
Seinfeld
"You could be a big star."
Seinfeld
"All right. That's enough."
Seinfeld
"I want you to go see a psychiatrist."
Seinfeld
"No! I am not going to see a psychiatrist!"
Seinfeld
"- Why not? Why won't you go? - Because I don't want to."
Seinfeld
"It's a good thing your father's in Chicago."
Seinfeld
"Hello, Aunt Estelle."
Seinfeld
"Look at you."
Seinfeld
"- How did this happen? - Is that important, really?"
Seinfeld
"What is this, a police investigation? She's been through enough."
Seinfeld
"She has to relive the experience?"
Seinfeld
"Hi, Denise. 6:30, time for your sponge bath."
Seinfeld
"Is it 6:30 already? I fell asleep."
Seinfeld
"So, George..."
Seinfeld
"I hear you got some kind of television writing thing."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. Television."
Seinfeld
"We thought you were gonna wind up on the street."
Seinfeld
"...what is it you're doing, exactly?"
Seinfeld
"George, your cousin Shelly is talking to you!"
Seinfeld
"So when was the last time you took a class?"
Seinfeld
"- It's been a while. - Are you psyched?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah. I'm really psyched."
Seinfeld
"You're gonna thank me for getting you in here."
Seinfeld
"- Why is that? - See the guy with the dark hair..."
Seinfeld
"...and the red shorts?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God."
Seinfeld
"John F. Kennedy Jr. is here."
Seinfeld
"- He's gonna be in your class today. - In my class?"
Seinfeld
"John Kennedy's gonna be in my class?"
Seinfeld
"I can get you a spot right behind him."
Seinfeld
"He has got a great butt."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. Butt, butt. Great butt. John-John's butt."
Seinfeld
"- Let's slow it down a little. - Slow it down?"
Seinfeld
"Well, you know."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. I know."
Seinfeld
"You're okay with that, right?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah. Yeah. Of course."
Seinfeld
"You think I care about the sex? What kind of person do you think I am?"
Seinfeld
"That doesn't mean anything to me. I don't care about that."
Seinfeld
"I'll see you Saturday night, then?"
Seinfeld
"Sure. Saturday night."
Seinfeld
"- All right, then. Good night. - Good night."
Seinfeld
"Not just a good night."
Seinfeld
"A great night."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, good morning."
Seinfeld
"Nothing like some good, solid sack-time."
Seinfeld
"She's not there."
Seinfeld
"So did you make it through the night?"
Seinfeld
"Yes, I'm proud to say I did."
Seinfeld
"Yes. Yes, I am."
Seinfeld
"But I will tell you this:"
Seinfeld
"Wait. What did you just say?"
Seinfeld
"I can't take it anymore."
Seinfeld
"She's driving me crazy. I can't sleep."
Seinfeld
"I can't leave the house. I'm climbing walls."
Seinfeld
"I'm dating a virgin, I'm in this contest."
Seinfeld
"Something's gotta give."
Seinfeld
"That's the dumbest thing I ever heard!"
Seinfeld
"It's incomprehensible... I won't let you."
Seinfeld
"- I'm doing it. Get out of my way. - No, no. You can't."
Seinfeld
"This is something that comes about once in a lifetime."
Seinfeld
"...we'd think, "Why can't a woman out there take her clothes off?""
Seinfeld
"Now that wish has come true, and you wanna throw it away?"
Seinfeld
"- I'm sorry. - I'm not gonna let you do it."
Seinfeld
"- Kramer, get out of my way. - Don't do it."
Seinfeld
"For my sake. God knows, I don't ask you for much."
Seinfeld
"Please, Jerry. I'm begging you. Please! Come on! Please!"
Seinfeld
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