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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Cornhusker Vortex (S03E03)

"Maybe Koothrappali's right, maybe I embarrass her."
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"Ouch! String burn. String burn."
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"- That chick. She smiled at me. - No, she didn't."
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"Oh, hey, on a related subject..."
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"In fact, some of my best friends aren't geniuses."
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"First down, New England."
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"...pee too often, and have trouble getting erections."
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"Ugh."
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"- Sheldon, how do you know this stuff? - I grew up in Texas."
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"Football or chicken-fried meats?"
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"When I have enough to destroy the human toast..."
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"- What's wrong with a football jersey? - Nothing."
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"How would you put it?"
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"Yeah, okay, like you said."
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"Don't you have access to women who will do it for money?"
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"And where were you?"
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"Okay, fine. The Tar Pits. Let's go."
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"- Yeah. - Ha-ha-ha."
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"Oh. Did not know that. Ha."
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"- Now we're back live. - Okay, yeah."
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"Yeah... That completely was a forward pass..."
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"...of a specific object or organism."
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"Have the indigenous fauna accepted you as one of their own?"
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"A courtesy I was never offered in similar circumstances."
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"This is turning out to be a perfect Saturday."
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"Oh, man. Did you see the way she smiled at me?"
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"Oh, who am I kidding? I wouldn't have a shot with a girl like that."
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"- Kites ho! - Kites ho!"
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"Kites ho!"
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"Kites ho!"
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"Excuse me. You're misusing the word "ho.""
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"Kites ho!"
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"Hey, guys. What are you doing?"
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"Going out to discover electricity?"
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"If you refer to the work of Benjamin Franklin, he did not discover electricity."
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"He merely used a kite to determine that lightning consists of electricity."
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"He also invented the Franklin stove, bifocals and the flexible urinary catheter."
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"- Kites ho. - We're heading out for some kite fighting."
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"- Kite fighting? - Oh, yeah."
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"It's an extremely competitive, cutthroat sport."
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"Well, actually, the risk of throat-cutting is very low."
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"Well, this sucks."
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"I'm sorry, I got bored and drifted off."
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"Where exactly in the interaction did the sucking lie?"
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"Leonard realized Penny's hiding him from her friends..."
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"...because he's a tiny little man who flies kites."
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"Oh, that certainly would suck."
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"Wolowitz is trying to outflank us."
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"Let out some string, add altitude, I'll go under and cut his line."
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"Why wouldn't Penny want her friends to meet me?"
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"Focus, Leonard, focus."
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"The heat of battle is upon us. The dogs of war are unleashed."
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"You're embarrassing me."
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"A grown man worrying about such nonsense."
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"We're in the middle of flying kites."
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"- Sorry. - Sorry won't bring their kites down."
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"Oh, they think we're flanking. They're playing right into our hands."
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"At the count of three, we execute the flying scissor."
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"- One, two, thre... - Whoa."
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"- You see that? - See what?"
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"- She did. - Come on, scissors, scissors."
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"- Hold my line. - What? I can't scissors by myself."
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"Howard, come back!"
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"Victory!"
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"Son of a bitch."
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"You're a sucky friend, you know that?"
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"A sucky, sucky friend."
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"What was I supposed to do? She gave me that come-hither look."
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"If she gave you any look at all, it was a you-suck look."
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"I would've caught up to her if I hadn't pulled a hammy."
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"Oh, please, you weigh 80 pounds, you don't have a hammy."
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"So Penny doesn't want me around her friends. I embarrass her. What else?"
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"Well, her actions could be out of concern for your feelings."
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"Perhaps she's excluded you from these gatherings..."
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"...because she's scouting for a new mate and doesn't wanna do it in front of you."
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"Oh, how kind of her."
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"Agreed. Most primates don't show that sort of discretion."
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"A female bonobo will copulate with a new male in front of the old one..."
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"...without so much as a, "How do you do?""
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"You always do this. Ditch me for a woman you don't have a shot with."
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"- I totally had a shot. - With a woman you were chasing in a park."
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"That's not a shot, that's a felony."
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"What's worse, it cost me my prized Patang fighting kite."
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"I don't suppose there's any chance you could give me my kite back?"
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"I'm sorry, Raj, but the rules of aerial warfare dictate..."
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"...that the fallen kite go to the victor."
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"And without meaning, the following would be an empty gesture:"
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"I have your kite, I have your kite"
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"- Hey. - Hi."
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"- It was pretty good, we won. - Oh, wow, that's excellent."
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"Weird figure of speech, isn't it?"
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""We won," when you weren't actually playing."
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"When we watch Star Wars, we don't say, "W e defeated the Empire." Ha, ha."
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"I'm glad to hear it."
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"...are you embarrassed to have me around your friends?"
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"Oh, my God, no. Why would you ask that?"
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"Well, you know, I just noticed I haven't really met any of them."
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"- Sure you have. - Well, yeah, no."
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"I met the huge ex-boyfriend..."
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"...and the smaller-yet-still-larger-than-me ex-boyfriend."
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"By the way, were they here today?"
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"- Of course not. - Why would they? Why would I ask?"
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"Why am I rambling? Why don't you stop me?"
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"Leonard, look, if you wanna meet my friends, that would be great."
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"I just... You know, I didn't want you to be bored."
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"I wouldn't be bored. Why would I be bored?"
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"Well, because they're not genius scientists."
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"Penny, I like all sorts of people."
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"Like who?"
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"Okay, some of my Facebook friends aren't geniuses."
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"But... My point is, if we're gonna be a couple..."
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"- ...I should be friends with your friends. - Okay, great."
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"Why don't you come over next Saturday and watch the game?"
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"Another football game?"
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"They have them every week."
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"Did not know that."
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"- You wanted to meet my friends. - Sure."
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"Just... I don't know much about football."
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"The guys' girlfriends don't know football."
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"They just kind of drink and talk in the kitchen."
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