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Clips from The Simpsons - Missionary: Impossible (S11E11)

"[ Whispering ] I'll pay you later."
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"- Um, is there a problem, Mr. Simpson? - Uh, why, no."
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"Everything is just- [ Grunting ]"
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"[ Wails ]"
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"I can't do it. I can't kill a man."
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"[ Grunting ]"
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"- You don't have the money, do you, Homer? - Mm-mmm."
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"And you thought you could stab your problems away?"
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"- Mm-hmm. - Silly goose."
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"Why didn't you say so? Get him, boys."
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"It's a beautiful day to kick your ass!"
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"- You die now! - [ Shouts ]"
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"- [ Screeching ] - [ Whimpering ]"
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"Bingo!"
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"Sanctuary! Sanctuary!"
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"Oh, why did I teach him that word?"
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"Quick. You gotta hide me from PBS."
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"Their bloodthirsty pursuit is made possible by a grant from the Chubb Group."
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"- Give us the money! - Elmo knows where you live."
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"Please, help me. I'll do anything. I'll light a candle."
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"I'll help with your next charity scam."
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"- The word is ''drive.'' - Sure, sure. Bob's your uncle."
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"Let's just get out of here."
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"[ Clears Throat ] Nothing to see here, people."
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"Just headed down to the dump with these children's letters to God."
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"[ Tires Squealing ]"
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"We'll send you someplace safe till the heat dies down."
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"Great, but why am I on a plane?"
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"Homer, how would you like to be a missionary in the South Pacific?"
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"I'm no missionary. I don't even believe in ''Jebus.''"
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"- Let me out. - Sorry. No can do."
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"Oh, save me,Jebus!"
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"Mmm."
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"Mmm! [ Smacks Lips ]"
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"Oh- Little piece there."
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"So, you said on the phone you had something to tell me?"
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"Mmm? Oh, yes. Your husband's in Micro-Asia."
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"Uh-huh. He needed to get away for a while."
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"I suggested missionary work, and he jumped at the idea."
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"No, no. You can even keep in touch with him on this ham radio."
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"Homer toJebus. [ Moans ]"
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"Ah. Hi there, little fella."
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"Well, what the- Wh-Wh-What-"
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"Welcome aboard, brother. You must be Homer."
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"I'm Craig. That's Amy."
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"First of all, forget everything you learned in missionary school."
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"- Done. - We taught them some English..."
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"and ridiculed away most of their beliefs."
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"So you can take it from there. Bye!"
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"Me Homer. Me hiding from PBS."
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"Welcome, Reverend Homer. We look forward to learning about the Bible from you."
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"- Here you go. Knock yourself out. - We cannot read."
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"[ Groans ] Does the word ''jet lag'' mean anything to you people?"
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"Jet... lag?"
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"Are you enjoying your ox testicle?"
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"Oh, yes. Very much so."
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"Really? You sure you wouldn't rather have a coconut?"
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"[ Chuckles ] They're delicious."
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"No, I'm good."
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"Mmm. Hey, what happened to all the shirtless girls..."
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"you see in all the geographical magazines?"
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"Craig and Amy gave us the gift of shame."
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"All the naked women are on that island."
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"- [ Drums, Laughter] - Yeah, anything goes over there."
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"- Bouncy, bouncy. - [ Groans ]"
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"- [ Deep Rumbling ] - What was that?"
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"Sorry. Fish bone in my throat. We call that ''earthquake.''"
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"Great. Now my testicle's got ants on it."
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"Thanks, sweetheart. Have a Bible."
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"My name's Homer. What's yours?"
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"I'm gonna call you Lisa Jr."
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"So, what do you do for fun around here?"
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"Craig and Amy were digging a well."
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"Craig and Amy were also building a chapel."
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"Craig and Amy, Craig and Amy. Why don't you just marry Craig and Amy?"
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"I told you we should have asked them."
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"How's the TV reception here? Excellent or-"
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"- T... V? - You don't have TV?"
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"But what will I watch while I'm sitting on the couch?"
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"- Couch? - No couches either?"
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"[ Gasps ] Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!"
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"[ Together] Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!"
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"[ Slurping ]"
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"Nothin'."
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"[ Slurping ] Here we go."
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"[ Chuckling ] Yeah."
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"Huh? What the-"
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"Marge!"
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"Homer, are you all right?"
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"I guess so. But that first month was pretty rough."
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"You've only been gone two days."
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"Really? Without TV it's hard to know..."
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"when one day begins and the other ends."
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"Hmm. I can see the house is falling apart without me, so here's the new order."
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"- Bart,you're the man of the house. - Mmm!"
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"- Lisa, I'm promoting you to boy. - [ Growls ]"
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"Toaster can fill in for Maggie."
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"- And, Marge,you're a consultant. - [ Groans ]"
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"- Dad? - Yes, boy?"
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"I just want to tell you how proud I am..."
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"that you're showing an interest in your fellow man."
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"Really? You're proud of me?"
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"Oh, yes. The whole town thinks you're a real humanitarian."
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"Ned Flanders is green with envy."
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"Oh, really?"
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"Well, if you'll excuse me..."
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"I got some civilization to spread like butter..."
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"on the English muffin that is these people..."
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"with all their little nooks and crannies."
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"Dad, are you licking toads?"
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"I'm not not licking toads."
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"Well, it's time to get to work."
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"Humanitarian Homer Simpson, over and out."
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"Gather round, everyone. I'm gonna teach you about religion."
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"[ Together] Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God-"
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"- Please, please. That's not necessary. - oh, God, oh, God-"
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"And lo, what a wondrous message it is."
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"Like this, from the book of..."
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"''P-salms.''"
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"''God will shatter the heads of his enemies..."
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