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Clips from Taxi - Elaine and the Lame Duck (S01E01)

"Yeah, so now, you're in office."
Taxi
"I bet you're showing them, huh?"
Taxi
"There's talk of a recall."
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"Ah, who cares about that?"
Taxi
"You dress nice."
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"Look, you know, I really appreciate"
Taxi
"you trying to cheer me up like this."
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"Hey, hey."
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"How you doing, Alex?"
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"Guys, I'd like you to meet Walter Griswold."
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"Walter is a United States Congressman."
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"How do you do?"
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"Hey, I'm in your district."
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"I voted for you."
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"Oh, yeah? Why?"
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"The other guy was up for murder."
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"Oh, yeah."
Taxi
"Congressman?"
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"Yeah, Latka, this is a very important person in our government."
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"No, no, Latka!"
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"You don't have to give him money."
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"No, no, in America, they just like to shake hands."
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"This is good country."
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"Nice to meet you."
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"It's nice to meet you."
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"Thank you very much."
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"( growling )"
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"All right, guys."
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"Line up, animals."
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"Hey, Louie, how's your mom's teeth?"
Taxi
"Oh, okay."
Taxi
"She had to have a little work done"
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"but this guy's prices are so reasonable"
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"I even sprung for Novocaine."
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"It's my own mother."
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"What the hell?"
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"Hey, listen, Walter, I'll be right back, okay?"
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"Okay."
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"Hey, so what are you doing in our garage, Your Honor?"
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"Oh, well, I was out on a date,"
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"but the lady had to cut the evening short."
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"Said something about having to get up early"
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"and change her phone number."
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"Yeah, his date was a real sweetheart,"
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"if you know what I mean."
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"No, Alex, it wasn't her."
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"It was me."
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"The fact is, uh..."
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"I'm a loser with women."
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"Women."
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"In my country, women work like ox."
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"They cook, they... have lots of babies,"
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"uh... they get old early."
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"They happy."
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"In America, the women, they have, uh..."
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"they have maids, they dress with nice clothes,"
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"they take bubble bath."
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"They happy."
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"What is your point?"
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"Women happy people."
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"Hey, Walt, I didn't think a congressman"
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"would have any trouble getting chicks."
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"Oh, boy, this one does."
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"You see, all I ever wanted in life"
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"was a nice, sweet, average girl"
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"who couldn't keep her hands off of me."
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"Every time I go out, I make a fool out of myself."
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"It's getting so I can't get dates."
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"You know how embarrassing it is"
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"to go to the presidential inaugural ball stag?"
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"I only hope people think I'm gay."
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"You know, Walter, I used to have trouble with women."
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"And then I found that the best way to handle them"
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"was to just be myself."
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"No, it wouldn't work for me."
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"Why not? You're cute."
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"Oh, yeah."
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"Walter, you know, there isn't a guy here"
Taxi
"who hasn't been rejected."
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"I mean, you're taking this too seriously."
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"A woman once said to me,"
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""I never want to see you again as long as I live.""
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"That's happened to everybody."
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"We hadn't been introduced."
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"He is wearing a nice suit, though, isn't he, fellas?"
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"No, no, I might as well just give up."
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"Oh, Walter, baloney."
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"You know what your trouble is?"
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"You try too hard."
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"You know, women sense your anxiety."
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"What you really need is some confidence."
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"I think a date with a very attractive"
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"but a very, uh... a very nice person"
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"would do you a lot of good, you know that?"
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"And I have someone in mind."
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"Her."
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"Damn it, Louie, you little twerp"
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"Now, listen to me. I am not going to take"
Taxi
"that kind of garbage from you anymore,"
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"so you can just cram it!"
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"Oh!"
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"She's uch nicer than what I'm used to."
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"Elaine, I want to thank you for going out with me tonight."
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"Did I already thank you?"
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"Yeah, you thanked me."
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"You thanked my children, you thanked my baby-sitter..."
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"I believe you can't say "thank you" too often."
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"Well, yeah, that's true."
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"Thank you."
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"Thank you."
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"I guess you can say "thank you" too often."
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"Walter, just relax."
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"You saw me perspire, didn't you?"
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"Excuse me?"
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"I perspire."
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"Well, everyone perspires."
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"I perspire freely."
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"I'm talking buckets."
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"That's why I'll never be reelected."
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"who always looks like he just stepped out of a sauna?"
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